General or Scripture

Im not sure whether or not Im posting this in the correct category (general topics or scriptures&doctrine).

I have learned from experience to be carful of what falls out my mouth when speaking to someone. The choice of words used may encourage or destroy a person.

Over the years, many people have used a handful of words that should never have been said. Some words hurt for a minute, some hurt for a month or so, some words hurt to the very core. Those words that hurt the deepest are the hardest to let go of.
I know that holding onto these painful words are keeping me from growing and from God.
Have I held onto the hurt, pain too long? Will I be able to forget these words?

Does God help in situations like this? If so, please tell me. I would like to read and mark it in my bible. Thank you.

You have not given enough detail to answer your query directly, but one scripture that might be as helpful to you as it is to me is Ephesians 6 where the armor of God is detailed.

We are commanded to put the armor on, because the fiery darts are coming. Yes Jesus has more power than Satan, but Satan has more power than we do. The armor is detailed in the familiar pieces of the day when Paul wrote the epistle, but it can be summed up by putting on Christ Himself.
When you rise in the morning, speak the pieces- as the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the shoes of preparation of peace, the helmet of salvation, the shield of faith, the sword of the Spirit. The words you heard will never be unsaid, but wearing the armor and using the weapons will bring healing to the wound, and joy to your innermost being- overcoming the pain. Follow the example of Jesus, extending His love to those you deal with, expect to be insulted and abused from time to time, and keep swinging the sword of truth.

You were designed to be loved and to return that love, Satan is committed to break that and chew you up as an affront to God.

The Armor. Don't leave home without it.

4gvn,

I am sorry you have been hurt by another's words. Does God help? Yes, He does.

Here is some of the Word on that:

"[S]et aside every weight and the sin that so easily besets us and run with patience the race set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith." Heb. 12:1, 2

Does Jesus know how that feels? Absolutely.

"Consider Him who endured such hostility (some translations say "contradiction", meaning He endured people speaking against Him and hatefully to/about Him) against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Heb. 12:3.

Does He do anything for you about it? Well, He doesn't unring the bell, so to speak, of words already spoken. But, He does give you the strength to endure it and in it to be shaped like Himself. Read the rest of Hebrews 12 and then Romans 12.

I ask the Lord with you and for you to be healed of the weight of another's sin and that you be relieved of the weight of your own harboring the pain of it and (maybe) even pockets of unforgiveness that you may be even unaware of. I encourage you to seek God for a change of heart perspective about it and ask that He teach you to see these things as shapers of your spirit and mind and heart and soul into the image and character of Jesus.

4gvn...

I can assure you that you are NOT alone in what you are struggling with. I think that very few of us can say this has never been an issue in our own lives. Here is some advice I can give you that comes from personal experience.

You have to come to a point where you find your identity in Christ. Words hurt and hold us back because we ascribe value to those words, or because we ascribe more value to those words than we do to the truth. You have to realize that your identity is firmly fixed in the Word of God. It is His opinion of you that really matters. It is in spending time in His word and in His presence that we truly learn who we are in Him. What does He say about you? That is who you are. The neat thing about having your identity in Him is that the His criticism does not hurt. It heals, and propels us toward change that makes us more like Him.

You also have to leave the past behind. This is difficult sometimes, but Paul instructs us that it is VERY important. In Philippians, Paul lists all of his fleshly pedigree, and then says that he does not counted himself to have apprehended but one thing. Forgetting the past, he presses on in Christ. This ONE thing is huge in the life of a believer. It is damaging to build altars and idols in the past, whether they be to failure or to success. Many denominations are altars to a past move of God. God moved on. The people stayed at the altar of the past. Many believers are crippled because of regret and an altar built to the failure that they used to be. We have to forget that, and press on.

I was hurt by the words of _________. So I must forgive that person, look steadfastly to Christ, believe what He says about me, and press on, never looking back to that hurt again. I must allow Him to heal me.

This is not an overnight event, but a process. But I MUST start the process with a firm decision and than I have to take EVERY thought captive unto the obedience of Christ.

Give the hurt to Him. Ask Him to heal you. He will do it. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Then, sink yourself steadfastly into His word. Find out who He says you are. Find your identity in Him and press forward into what He is calling you to do.

If you go to the website www.thenarrowpath.com and click on "topical lectures" then click on "individual teachings" you will find a lecture called "Refuse to be Offended" that I think you will find exceedingly helpful.