John,
First, I hope to challenge you on something. I'm not sure you're being oppressed by the devil. The more you say, the more it raises doubt about that. One thing that may be happening, though, is that you don't have the words to describe what is going on inside you. "Oppression" is a good word; it sounds so heavy and what you feel is really heavy, too, and it seems like you just can't get free.
The thing is, buddy, people here may take you at your word that you're "oppressed" --- and that brings a whole truckload of meaning with it that maybe you don't know about. When people read "oppressed", we think of some outside influence forcing you into something. John, I've read enough of your posts to think reasonably that no one is forcing you to do or think or feel anything.
You said it well in that last post, though: "I am a very weak person at times." Yeah, you said oppressed a lot, too, but I'm really just ignoring that. You are weak. WE are weak, brother. And, no temptation has come upon you that is not common to everyone else. Lustful thoughts? Have 'em. Angry thoughts? Guilty. Tempted to dishonesty? Sure. Overwhelmingly dark depression? Yes, sir I have for long periods in the past and I do admit to temptations to walk down that dark path at times even now when situations seem too much. Inability to keep healthy relationships due to my thought life? My thought life has poisoned my relationships many times in my life.
I'm laying some honesty cards out on the table, John. I'm a deeply flawed man. But, I'm not "oppressed". I'm "Tim-pressed". You're "John-pressed".
I'm justified. I'm made acceptable in the beloved. That is more than just nice things the Bible says. It is true in the deep parts of me because Jesus made me a new creature. He is still perfecting us, John. He's working on you. And, I just for the life of me do not see that either one of us is oppressed.
You come on here with problems that we all have and don't say aloud. We all have messed up families. We don't all air it out on here. We -- I hope we do anyway -- have people close to us that we walk this out with.
For real, I get it that you may not have that. You are in the middle of a lost family. As I understand, your wife is also not a believer. Man, that's a hard road.
It isn't oppression. It is pressure, but it isn't oppression. John, I don't know if you have a past with health issues or mental health issues or if you just are struggling to find the words to describe what daily life feels like to you. Maybe your family that you love just wasn't always there to show you the way to live right and well. Maybe you've made choices that complicated what was already a hard life.
But, at some point you had an experience with Jesus, right? You had a time (or a period of time) when you can look back and say, "God showed Himself to me through His word and I believe the gospel of Jesus Christ and I'm going to live for Him, period, and not for myself." And, you've stumbled out of the gate on that.
It seems to you like you can not get up. I can tell you I've been in that place, John. If others here were moved to say so, they would testify to the same sense or experience in their lives, too.
If you have to ride an altar of repentance every single day, brother, until that altar becomes a portal to eternal life, then you ride it. Do not give up or give in to the idea of oppression.
Do not give the enemy credit for keeping you down. AND, at the same time, do not avoid your own responsibility to do things day to day that cooperate in God's re-shaping of you into the likeness of Jesus. Don't say "I'm oppressed", even in your own mind -- I am concerned that you are excusing yourself from so many things you know to do by using that word.
You are who God says you are. Are you His, John? Really? Because if you are, you cannot lose this fight. You would have to walk away from Him. You would have to reject Him. There are 1,000s of neglectful ways to do that, and 1,000s more ways to do it on purpose. But, if you are pursuing God, I tell you on His Word (not mine) that He is a rewarder of them who diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6). He will not hold back any good thing from you if you walk uprightly. (Psalm 84:11). He HAS to do what He says, and He WANTS to do what He says. It glorifies HIM to do it. He WANTS to make you like Jesus. (Romans 8:29). He may put you through years of pain to accomplish it, but He is perfecting the work He started in you (Philippians 1:6).
You are not oppressed. You are more than a conqueror through Him who loves you. You did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as a son, and by that Spirit you cry "Abba! Father!" (Romans 8:15). You will suffer with Him in order that you may be glorified with Him. (Romans 8:17). Creation itself longs to see God's nature and likeness revealed in you. (Romans 8:19). God has made it so. And, while you -- and me and every other believer -- groans inwardly while we wait EAGERLY for our adoption, for the redemption of our bodies to Himself, it is in this very weakness that the Spirit of God helps us. (Romans 8:24-26). He works all things together for our good, John. Yours. (Rom. 8:28).
So, what do you say to that?? (Rom. 8:31). I'll tell you what you can tell you heart to say over and over: "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Rom. 8:31). The God who gave up His own Son for you will -- with His Son -- graciously give you all things? (Romans 8:32).
If you think of yourself as being condemned or oppressed, call it for what it is. A lie. "It is God who justifies", John. So, "who is to condemn?" (Rom. 8:33, 34).
Please listen: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger or sword?" (Rom. 8:35). NO! (Romans 8:37). None of things things -- death, life, angels, rulers, present troubles or future troubles, powers, height nor depth, nor ANYTHING else in all creation -- will be able to separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38, 39).
John, end that chapter of your thought life that you are oppressed. You are enabled to live for Jesus, man. You are enabled with the greatest power in the weakest vessel for the most exciting and troubled time in history. You are a child of God Most High, even if you don't feel like it yet.
There will be many times you don't feel like it. You are anyway. Go into training John. I pray right now that God will bring alongside you a man of His own who will kick you and pull you and hug you and yell at you and whisper gently to you and be the sharpener you really do want. I hope others will pray this for you.
I'm tired -- not of you -- but of seeing you live this way. Stand up. Be a man of God. He will meet you right where you are and grow you into the man He will lead you to be. You will get knocked down but get back up. Keep on.
