Young Adults "Leaving the Faith"

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TMK Sep 9, 2015

I was at a youth worker meeting last night. We watched a video of some supposed expert talking about how around 50% of church kids leave the faith when they get out of HS. He seemed to be trying to blame this on ineffective methods of keeping kids engaged in youth programs.

Not one word was said about the real reason youth are "leaving the faith"-- which is because they were never born again to begin with.

If his statistic is correct then obviously churches are doing a miserable job of reaching youth with the gospel- even those that regularly attend church or a youth group.

T

Theophila Sep 9, 2015

Brother,
Your post may open Pandora's box....but in a good way, haha!

Since only the living can birth the living, is it possible that the youth that were never born again to start with, are being raised and preached to, by parents and preachers who themselves are not born again?

Just a thought....

sermonindex Sep 9, 2015

Exactly, Theophila. Leaving the faith is different than leaving a religious institution. I can understand the latter. "Works based", institutions are very unappealing.

If truly born-again, are they really leaving Jesus or just a religious structure?

J

Jeremy221 Sep 9, 2015

I have met several self identified South African English teachers here in Korea that say they are Christians but it is evident in moments that they neither know nor want Christian fellowship. It reminds me of Keith Daniel's sermons about seeing revival in South Africa among churches that have never seen the power of God nor felt His holy presence. Usually, I meet them drunk and they try to be friendly taking the name of Christ but when I refuse to take part in their drunken orgy, they get angry at me.

On a similar note, I believe that there are more "Christian" American youth that are more disciples of Disney [and the Disney Channel] or self help entrepreneurship than children of the Lord. They have crosses around their necks while they twerk and pop to the latest hip-hop or spout self fulfilling dreams of mid level success.

D

dolfan Sep 9, 2015

This article, if I may share the link, offers a little insight and hope.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2014/may/dropouts-and-disciples-how-many-students-are-really-leaving.html

I will share these excerpts:

Statistically, we found four factors that were the most predictive in determining which teenagers stayed in church:
”¢ I wanted the church to help guide my decisions in everyday life (prior to 18).
”¢ My parents were still married to each other and both attended church (prior to 18).
”¢ The pastor's sermons were relevant to my life (prior to 18).
”¢ At least one adult from church made a significant investment in me personally and spiritually (between 15 and 18).

When teenagers see an active, practiced faith in their parents and other positive examples at church, they will stop being dropouts and start being disciples.
1. Disciple, disciple, disciple. If your student ministry is a four-year holding tank with pizza, don't expect young adults to stick around. If, however, they see biblical teaching as relevant and see the church as essential to their decisions, they stay.
2. Have a home with committed Christian parents. According to the USC study I referenced earlier, 74% of married couples who were both evangelicals also had kids who were evangelical. I was raised by a single mom who loved the Lord and I'm so thankful for those who do, but parents (together) make a significant statistical impact.
3. Recognize that it takes a church to raise a committed young adult””involve other adults in the discipleship process. This is where student pastors, volunteers, and other adults being invested in the lives of teenagers can be so important.

For those of us in home-based fellowships, this is an eye-opener, but we have what I think is an advantage of closeness and immediacy in terms of the "relevance" part of this.

T

TMK Sep 9, 2015

Funny- I found that same article and it is somewhat encouraging.

It also describes me- I got away from church in HS because I had a golf course job and I worked Sunday mornings. I didn't really return to church consistently until mid 20s.

S

Sree Sep 10, 2015

I dont think we can blame the youth as not born again. I think the problem is with Churches. They do not have people who could live as an example for the young ones to follow.

I sometimes lead youth meeting in my Church. One of my burden is to constantly be a living example for the younger ones to follow. I want them to look up to me, share with me their problems, look for a mature council in me etc. I don't think I have grown up to that stage yet. But luckily my Church has a brother who is incharage of youth meeting who is very zealous for the Lord. I look up to him as well. I may be gifted with word, but he is living a challenging Christian life.

Instead of Churches changing their programs to please youth, they need to focus on Godly examples before them.

R

romanchog Sep 10, 2015

IS the problem perhaps that they never had a conversion?

It seems to me that churches teach children and youth making the assumption that they have been born again-for lack of a better term. In other words, the teachings in children's and youth services/classes are not taught as to the unregenerate, needing the knowledge of Christ. Because these children have Christian parents (assumed because they are in Church) it is assumed that the children are also Christian. This is an error.

The children/youth themselves grow to believe that they are, in fact, followers of Christ but have never made that personal decision. When they leave High School and enter college with all of the pressure that is put on their faith from so many areas, they abandon the faith that they never had. My opinion.

L

Lysa Sep 10, 2015

TMK wrote:
We watched a video of some supposed expert talking about how around 50% of church kids leave the faith...

My understanding of 'kids leaving the faith' is because they see no faith anymore. It's just a Sunday thing, like a Sunday morning drive in the country.

In the past, I've been the churches biggest critic but I don't know that "churches" are doing a miserable job reaching the youth; it seems the parents are doing a "miserable job" reaching their children for Christ! They drop their kids off with no participation or excitement for Christ. Why should the kids participate if the parents don't? Why should the kids be excited if the parents aren't?

Will the REAL Jesus, please stand up! They've met hypocrisy, they've met religion, they've met theology, they've met rules and regulations, they've met people who said stringent Christians but their behavior said other wise.

I don't think they've met the real Jesus because if they had, they would love Him and not want to leave Him.

T

TMK Sep 10, 2015

Lisa wrote: "I don't think they've met the real Jesus because if they had, they would love Him and not want to leave Him. "

I agree 100%.

sermonindex Sep 10, 2015

That is true, Lysa.

Also, men usually duplicate what they are and what they know. If they are "church-goers" they will create church-goers. If they are working for their salvation, they will create works oriented disciples instead of disciples doing works led by the Spirit. If they teach one thing and do another or value knowledge over love, their "offspring" will look like them, and usually worse as Jesus indicated (Matt 23:15). These "disciples" will hopefully come to a place in their life where they burn out (which is good) and then fall upon the mercy of God and discover His rest and true liberty in Christ. Legalistic, performance oriented, Judaizing elements have always dogged the Church of Jesus Christ, and has no appeal to a young or old person who has been genuinely regenerated. It is a "voice" they do not recognize and their spirit is repelled by the legalistic spirit. This is why some leave "church". Of course, there is not one answer, and we can't assume everyone is not born-again. There are many born-again people in religious institutions living lives of quiet desperation, going through the paces of religious performance, wondering, "Is this what being a Christian is all about"?

Gal 6:13 For neither they themselves who are circumcised keep the law; but desire to have you circumcised, that they may glory in your flesh.

I know this verse has to do with Judaizers, but it can be applied to anyone who adds to the word and the gospel of grace. Many "ministers" advocate certain "performances" but demonstrate that they are unable to perform them. Young people see the insincere pretensions of hypocrisy. Notice, how Barnabas was also carried away by personalities and false teaching.

Gal 2:13 And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation.

Galatians is actually a very good book to introduce to new Christians.

Man does not have it in himself to produce fruit or divine character as demanded by the "Judaizer" or the "Christianizer". So, religion settles for something less, rules and regulations that they espouse. And when people are observing, they make token efforts to perform.

Michael Pearl once said, "More is caught than taught", in reference to raising children. Same concept can be applied to anyone who is learning from a "teacher". You can teach them until you are blue in the face, but the real teaching, is your actions, conduct and behavior and this will always be picked up and noticed, by your wife, your children, your disciples.

If you create a religious system, that compromises behavior, don't be surprised when true believers or even those hungry for truth, see the hypocrisy and want to leave. This is partly, why many are leaving.

Paul, did not glory in any man. He only gloried in the cross of Christ. Today, is not much different than the days of Paul. Men 'desire to make a good showing in the flesh" (6:12) and have "bragging rights" over you. Just like the Judaizers, they have self-serving motivations of proud self-exaltation deftly concealed under a thin veneer of "spirituality".

Throughout the history of mankind, religion focuses on the outward, numbering their converts, tallying up statistics, identifying themselves with a segregated group and persuading new converts to CONFORM to their ways. In the religious realm, people have always been used as pawns and taken advantage of that they may eventually become trophies in the process.

Galatians should surely be taught to every new Christian, but will the religious system teach them to stay away from those who uses forceful, manipulative methods to "compel them to be "circumcised" (persuade them to adhere to their church's laws over and above the Gospel of Grace)? Will they be taught to stay away from those who use the motivation of fear to keep them from being persecuted for the cross of Christ? They have no consistency! "They do not keep the law, themselves" and they teach them by example to be hypocritical. This has got to steal a person's joy and peace and severely wear on them as they begin to question their walk with God. To maintain their "sanity", they end up leaving the "sweat factory" of religion. They may not know where they are going, but they just know they need to leave.

Y

yuehan Sep 10, 2015

I don't think they've met the real Jesus because if they had, they would love Him and not want to leave Him.

Lysa: while I too believe that many churches are weak in their grasp of the gospel, your assertion is not entirely correct - c.f. Mark 4:1-9.

Here's a question for this thread: if you knew people who claimed to be Christian but whose beliefs and conduct were contrary to that, how would you approach them?

J

jochbaptist Sep 10, 2015

There is this joke of the church that had a bat infestation in their steeple. The Reverend in charge did all he could, except for killing the bats, (as it was against church policy) but could not get rid of them.

Once, for instance, all the bats were caught, and released in a nearby cave, but they returned the next evening. They were then released in a bigger cave, in a neighboring town, but still they returned. They were even once quietly released near a neighboring church steeple, at night, but they still returned the next evening.

Finally, out of desperation, they offered a big financial reward for the person who could get rid of the stubborn bats.

One day a wise old man came, caught all the bats, spent a evening with them in church, then released them, and they completely vanished. When the old man came to collect his reward after a month, the relieved Reverent wanted to know how he did it.

" I caught them one by one, sprinkled them at the baptismal font, taught them the Catechisms and accepted them as church members. Then I let them go their own way." said the old man. "And they never returned." :)

sermonindex Sep 10, 2015

The Religious system is replete with countless divisions and thousands of church splits each year. Sometimes for the most minor things, (usually external based things). This too, does not escape the notice of young believers with soft hearts, who read their Bible.
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Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative” Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

sermonindex Sep 10, 2015

My conversion experience was unlike any I have heard of except maybe Paul's. I was radically saved in the extremest sense of those words.

I say that only to convey that I have been "ON FIRE" since that moment. My walk is effortless, joyful and intense. And this is of course the result of the fire that was lit by the radical salvation experience I had.

But when I had children I realized that what had happend to me would not happen to my children. At that time I was not reform and I spent a ton of time pretty much interviewing older believers about their children's walk with God and also educational success since we see so many dropouts at the College / University my wife teaches at.

What we found is the parents that had success with their children's education did not pay for the first year. But contracted with their children that if they paid and passed their first year the rest would be paid for by us. So far 2 have graduated post secondary and 2 more started this year and are in fantastic shape for success.

On the spiritual side what I found in hundreds of talks with older people was this was the biggest source of heartache in their lives. Almost without exception the moment their children were old enough that they couldn't be forced to go To church they stopped. And what I noticed as well was that their children had a very simple, basic walk with God before they stopped and only a few picked any of it back up later. I concluded these children like most believers had a "God is at the Church and Sundays we visit Him mantality". There was no reality to their every day lives.

I took this to the Lord when they were very small with a concerned and sincere heart. What the Lord showed me over a period of time changed everything for me. He told me specifically when they said anything untrue, He told me their lie and what really happened so they knew very early that Daddy hears from God. He also instantly healed any sickness or pain they had when I prayed for them. I must emphasis this was only my children and not even their children.

All five of my children love the Lord, know He is real, seek Him for themselves in their lives, never lie to me and are still blown away when they ask me to tell them again what took place December 29 1989 at 6:40 in the morning to their dad when He was 25 years old. Because they have lived their entire lives seeing only the fruit of it.

God has to be real to young people, not stories, bible lessons, rules or Sunday visits. But hands on 24/7 radically real. My Children live in the knowledge of a real God who is really there all the time.

Marc mc

L

Lysa Sep 10, 2015

Julius21 wrote:
Northern Conservative” Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

bhahaha Thank you for injecting humor into this thread!!!

T

Theophila Sep 10, 2015

God has to be real to young people, not stories, bible lessons, rules or Sunday visits. But hands on 24/7 radically real. My Children live in the knowledge of a real God who is really there all the time.

That, right there, is the solution to the problem! If God isn't real to mum and dad, the chances of their children walking with Him dwindle by the day! So that by the time they are in their teens, they want nothing to do with church.

I remember growing up knowing I could NEVER lie to my mother because she would know it.

It is not a matter of making the programs more engaging or any such foolishness. It is SEEING the Lord REAL in the lives of their church-going parents. Any other strategy is putting the cart before the horse.

The result is the OP.

L

Lysa Sep 10, 2015

by yuehan
I don't think they've met the real Jesus because if they had, they would love Him and not want to leave Him.

Lysa: while I too believe that many churches are weak in their grasp of the gospel, your assertion is not entirely correct - c.f. Mark 4:1-9.
Here's a question for this thread: if you knew people who claimed to be Christian but whose beliefs and conduct were contrary to that, how would you approach them?

I read what you wrote and I'd just like to ask, who is to say that the people supposedly representing Jesus (and are not) is in fact the "stony ground" or the "thorns" you quoted??? And that that is why these people take no root, wither away and get choked out and yield no fruit?

Had they met the real Jesus (good ground), they would love Him and would yield fruit increase and some thirty, and some sixty, and some an hundred.

Amen??

Y

yuehan Sep 11, 2015

Lysa: I read what you wrote and I'd just like to ask, who is to say that the people supposedly representing Jesus (and are not) is in fact the "stony ground" or the "thorns" you quoted??? And that that is why these people take no root, wither away and get choked out and yield no fruit?
Had they met the real Jesus (good ground), they would love Him and would yield fruit increase and some thirty, and some sixty, and some an hundred.

I've avoided making blanket, dichotomous statements on this topic.

My intention was to point out that in Scripture, those who encountered the real Jesus had different responses: some followed Him, others followed Him for a bit and then fell away, while others were offended and hated Him without a cause.

It's true that some do not believe in Jesus because they have not encountered Him.

But there are also those who have heard of Jesus' invitation to abundant life, and yet refuse to come to Him. After all, God extends to us a choice and we are responsible for exercising our free-will. Let us not blame anyone in these instances.

Just because the correct "inputs" are inserted, it doesn't guarantee that we will obtain the desired "output" (so to speak).

I have met people in both categories - some who shun the light and preferred to remain in darkness, and those who had their lives radically transformed when they encountered Jesus Christ through good church ministry.

L

Lysa Sep 11, 2015

by yuehan
But there are also those who have heard of Jesus' invitation to abundant life, and yet refuse to come to Him. After all, God extends to us a choice and we are responsible for exercising our free-will. Let us not blame anyone in these instances.
Just because the correct "inputs" are inserted, it doesn't guarantee that we will obtain the desired "output" (so to speak).

I understand the realism of what you are saying.

We are two pieces of pie in the pie pan both pointing toward the center of the pie (Christ); you're pie piece is as valid as mine!! That's the awesomeness of God, isn't it?!!

God bless!!