Lahry, how perfectly appropriate...Somebody once called Him affectionately "the hound of Heaven".Precisely where I was heading with all this and how to find the truth of that in actual experience with a backwards glance...From a personal stand point it is quite amazing to me, the ways and the means by I find myself here at this particular point and time. This may prove to be difficult to express but trying to determine a 'setting point' is more in the analogy that I once heard Ol Hank Haannagraff make mention: That often times it is in that as a traveler you pass certain sign posts along the way to a destination, you find yourself leaving say California and ending in New York and don't recall seeing each states sign post in between, but you passed them.Salvation is a beginning, certainly we know that much, a changed disposition. A question: Do you recall your natural birth? The day you came out of the womb? Just something to ponder in this whole wide realm. Maybe what I am trying to get at is there is a variance in experience.Going back to the "Hound of Heaven", personally that has always stuck so forcefully. When did the hunt begin? Was it very early on, upon the musings of a child, wondering and reaching out to God beyond what I could even begin to understand?Was it through the endless consecutive Sundays of sitting through church, the mind and heart being drawn to some other stirring within, musing on the cross, the world, life, death...Or further down the line, into the era of prodigal living, 'nice guy rebellion' (outwardly) and the convictions of conscience both inwardly and from those divine appointments, crossing paths with Christians that I could not even bring my eye's to meet with theirs for shame.Even somewhere in between. Can't find it now, but not to long back was cleaning up the garage and came across an old High School binder. It may have been from Psychology class, but remember flipping it open and reading some of my goals for life and was startled to read that I had put one as, "Getting to know God". I literally broke down and wept to see this in hindsight, what an incredible journey...This is a rehashing of the testimony but there was a 'night' when it all broke loose, was sorely convicted and cried out to the Lord. But,... this had happened numerous times before and I still resisted not wanting to give up my sin. And each time I felt that incredible warmth come coursing through the veins... Oh, I hate almost to bring it up as some sort of 'proving ground', but it happened. There was the night that I can look back on in the 'yes/no' way of 'coming to the Lord', wasn't preached to, didn't 'say' the sinners prayer, wasn't led into, none of these things. Only that "The Hound of Heaven" had finally, blessedly caught his prey.But what of the next morning? Something happened and nothing changed dramatically, not for a very long time. Continued in doing many things wrong, many sinful activities and yet something was 'different', something in the core was changed or perhaps it was the beginning of dying...Joh 12:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. What it seems for this particular fool in his stubborness or in the idea of slow to hear was that everything went along a line of slow change, very little dramatic instantaneous deliverance, more of a mystery and always a backwards glance. Meeting the soon to be wife was a forcing of the issue and a speeding up of the process. She had a something about her that drew me to her and it was in the way of her disposition, it was Christ in her, in her manner, in her character and love. She had such a sense of knowing, that nothing seemed to bother her at all, it was commanding, it was peculiar, it was beautiful. Things began to drop off in a quicker pace in some regards. Swearing, practically overnight. Alchohol... just lost interest, it more ebbed away than anything and somewhere along the line had started weaning away from having the mind always 'buzzed' from it, the hangovers... But it was easy in comparisson to the harder issues of the weed and the speed. One that took the mighty battle that has been described before here, the other... Well it seems the Lord saw fit to break my arm (literally) and break that habit in short succession, which is quite uncanny because to hear Brian (Edit: 'Welch') Wheat's recent testimony (The guitar player from KORN) and his describing his own deliverance from the speed, he is pretty much right on the money, the withdrawals are practically indescribable on one's own. Had failed many a time to get off the stuff. Feeling apologetic to be rehashing and taking up all this space here and maybe am just trying to present just one picture of an ongoing progression.There was the whole 'era' of being caught up in so much wrong theology, all the WOF, prosperity, opposite and twisted truths of what this very life is. Much confusion and wrong anguish of a vexed spirit, something was truly amiss and I knew it deep down. Eventually a turning, an A.W. Tozer in a primary way, but yet amongst others and suddenly a stirring and grasping towards what the soul was crying for... Reality, truth, honesty.And the glorious day! Oh yes indeed, let me not mince one jot or title here.It is forever etched into my very core the day I came here. I knew that I knew that I knew that what I had been searching for, that the spirit man was craving was right here and that before I had listened to a single message. It was distinct and profound and the tears are welling up even as I write...What this mere site has done to this fool. Oh that I could express it adequately. It has changed my entire life from the core, it has ruined me forever in such an incredibly blessed way. It has caused the light to shine like never before, ruined all kinds of misconceptions of just who Jesus is, what He came to do and has raptured my heart. All of this has brought so much reality to bear, have and continue to be challenged and humiliated (It's a good thing, it really is), humbled, thankful, ever so thankful that I am but compelled to just make myself a fool in all these ramblings of expression.And it is so much indebtedness not only to Greg but to all of you saints who have come here with like hearts searching for truth and reality in Christ Jesus.This site has changed lives in such an incredible way, we have heard snippets here and there from the email encouragements that come through and even with our own eye's watched the profound change in many as they share and discuss and challenge each other to think, to consider, to ponder. We have even had some come and say that they felt they weren't even 'Born again' in their estimation when they listened to the likes of "Ten Shekels and a Shirt" or the "Revival Hymn" or "The Judgment Seat of Christ" just to mention a few. And of course that also kind of brings this back full circle to the 'when's and 'how's' and 'if's' of salvation.The whole warning of; 2Co 13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates? And yet also the hope of:2Co 13:6 But I trust that ye shall know that we are not reprobates. Maybe at bottom it is but this:Col 4:2 Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving; Col 1:23 If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister; 1Ti 4:16 Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.Rom 11:22 Behold therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in his goodness: otherwise thou also shalt be cut off. Heb 13:1 Let brotherly love continue. Lastly...1Co 2:5 That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. Gal 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.