I awoke this morning thinking about suffering, actually my own. It has been intense of late. Yesterday, I kicked against the pricks. My daughter reminded me that the only way to deal with my pain was to die. "It seems so unfair!", I cried. "Why can't people see the truth?" "Why must they run roughshod over the top of others.?"I suppose I was thinking that perhaps those who are killing me would realize the error of their ways.This morning I began to think on these things. My whole life I have avoided suffering. Who wants to suffer? Right? But, as I said in my previous post, my New Year's resolution was to embrace suffering for I have come to understand that it is the path to life. But, this morning I realized that, even though I believe suffering is necessary, I've been hoping mine would be easy. After all, I look around Christiandom and I see many who seem to have gotten off scott free.Jesus said, "No man takes my life, I lay it down." He wasn't angry with the mob who cried, "crucify him!" He presented his life on God's altar.When John the Baptist was in prison, he sent a message to Jesus asking, "Are you the One or should we look for another?" The message which Jesus sent back was profound. He said, "Blessed is he who is not offended in me." I believe it meant, your life is going to be required of you, don't be offended.In Gethsemane Jesus cried out, "Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not my will but thine be done." For so long, I have hoped that I could avoid the suffering and death, the laying down of my life. I've looked for some other way to skirt the cemetary. Now I realize that, if this cup of suffering passes me by, I cannot be transfigured. I must run to the Cross! I must set my face like a flint to go. I must see my tormentors as instruments of God's purpose. I must lay my life down willingly.As I meditated this morning, I had a vision of a freezer door standing wide open. I sat there and thought what it could mean. If a freezer door were standing open, there would be no hope of anything inside it being preserved. We must not seek to preserve our lives. We must fling open the doors and invite ruin. Oh, to be ruined for God!The only way to salvage meat that has thawed out is to cook it. Oh, to enter the fires of God and be consumed! It will be a sweet smelling savour to God.I hope this hasn't sounded morbid. We have this promise: If you lose your life, you will find it. Also, Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things (which you are concerned about) shall be added unto you. Love, Dian.