I 'm struggling with unforgiveness.

Brethren ,how can i overcome unforgiveness?? I find it hard to forgive. I 'm that kind of person that does not forget things. I hardly forget what i hear or what people say about me particularly abuses and insults. I can rightly say that 99% of the abuses and insults made at me in my life up to this moment are actively working in my consciousness in my mind . And i kind of have this spirit of retaliation. A recent case i 'm battling with in my mind is the case of my Church Coordinator who rained terrible abuses on me openly for no just cause. Even though the brother has come to make peace with me, i 'm still unable to clear it out. I still have a hidden and an unsuspected desire to hurt him and get even. Especially when i 'm alone, the thought of it suddenly jerks back to my consciousness.

Quote: "who rained terrible abuses on me openly for no just cause."

Whom do you see in a mirror that you reflect the likeness of Christ on the Cross, in you not deserving the terrible railings which come upon you?

This is a hard thing to grasp, but this person has given you the same purpose that Christ had from the Father as it pleased the Father to suffer His Son this terrible pain and condemnation to suffer and ultimately die just for you and me. What did He say? "Father forgive them they don't know what they are doing".

You are given the same chance to fill up that which is left behind of the sufferings of Christ as you reflect His image by He that is rebirthed in you, "Christ in you the Hope of Glory",

I know this is a lot of scripture to understand but I am praying for you to find peace in it and forgive your enemies as Christ has died and shed His blood just for you that you might be forgiven.

Colossians 1:9-29 For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins: Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature: For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence. For it pleased the Father that in him should all fulness dwell; And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven. And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight: If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister; Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body's sake, which is the church: Whereof I am made a minister, according to the dispensation of God which is given to me for you, to fulfil the word of God; Even the mystery which hath been hid from ages and from generations, but now is made manifest to his saints: To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus: Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.

In Christ, this is yours and mine, "every man perfect in Christ Jesus", which worketh in you and me."

God bless you my brother in Christ, may God give you peace and forgiveness for this church coordinator who you feel has wronged you.

For your blessing: "Whereunto I (YOU) also labour, striving according to His working, which worketh in me (YOU)mightily."

(YOU) added by me for your edification.

In Christ: Phillip

I am thankful that the Holy Spirit has changed you enough to diagnose and admit this in your soul, brother. He really IS working in you.

Practically, I don't have advice. I am as capable of feeling hurt and angry as you are. For me, it is more obvious when my wife or daughter are hurt, belittled, etc. If I am on the receiving end of insult, I usually get over it because I get paid to be insulted and I am actually pretty accustomed to it. :). But I get angry when my wife or daughter are insulted, misused, etc.

But, can I offer this? I find my hurt is rooted deeply in my own ego. At bottom, my anger is far less about justice or right than about my own pride, my own concern for how something looks regarding me, my own concern to be deemed "a good guy" and likable. When hurts come to my family, somewhere I can easily identify something in the pain that presses on one of those particular nerves. So, my long....long....long term spiritual strategy has been to not care about me. To train myself not to mind the pain. It does not always work. Sometimes I find that after I thought I overcame and didn't mind the pain so to speak, I reflect and see where my words, deeds or thoughts betrayed my self assessment, and that I acted/thought/spoke/felt egotistically anyway.

But, long term, the exercise of forgetting me had been a help, aided many days by the Holy Spirit in an almost palpable way. I thank Him for it.

Especially when i 'm alone, the thought of it suddenly jerks back to my consciousness.

You are not judged by your thoughts. You are judged by what you entertain in your heart. You cannot prevent evil thoughts like how you cannot prevent birds flying over your head, but you can prevent the birds from building nest on your head. So when such thoughts come you do not entertain them and ask the Lords help.

In my life the fact that God has forgiven me more helps me to forgive others more. Just a flashback of how I lived in past is good enough to forgive others.

Also in case of someone saying abusing things against us, just think whose name is Blasphemed because of those abuses. Is it your name or the name of the Lord? If it is your name then no problem be happy as Lord has given you an opportunity to humble yourself.

Corie Tenboom many years after being released from Nazist prison, met face to face with a man who once abused so many women in the prison as a prison guard. He came to her and said he is now saved. Corie remembered how badly he has behaved with her and other fellow prisons. She could no way shake hands with him. But then she quickly prayed in her hearts for God to help. She says that God poured his love mightily in her heart (Romans 5:5), that she could hug him and love him so much for his salvation.

All we need to do is take it to Him in prayer.

Paul: If I may suggest a great resource that might help you immensely. It is a book by John Bevere called the Bait of Satan. It is a powerful teaching on offense, bitterness and unforgiveness. It deals with exactly what you describe. God wants to work a work in your heart that frees you from all offense. We both know that unforgiveness will block every move of God in your life. I think the book will be a great blessing to you and that God will use it to help you through this. In the meantime, I am praying for you tonight that God will work in a powerful way in this area of your life.

Mat 18:21
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Mat 18:22
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

I think that a great many of us deal with this, I know I do or have in the past, sometimes you outwardly forgive once but maybe inwardly forgive 70 times 7. I personally just ask Jesus for the help and grace to forgive others or someone specifically who may have wronged me, I figure He never tells us to do something with out giving us the help we need to do it. The parable following is a good read also Matt 18:23-35

All of us have fought this giant at one point in life. The best weapon is always to refer back to the gospel, how did Christ forgive..."while they were yet sinners, Christ died for them"...and "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do" In Christ we find the supreme example of humility and forgiveness. Model Him, pray that He might shine through you in this. We must always live and walk in a manner that is worthy of the gospel, this is done by the power of the Holy Spirit. Pick up the stones of the gospel and by faith launch them toward this giant, and it too will be no match for the God of heaven!

I have found this to be helpful in my own life...pray for those who you feel are coming against you. Pray earnestly for them, that God would bless them and give you a love for them. This will help combat wrong attitudes we may form toward others. Spend much time on your knees in prayer and learn to "retaliate" in a Christ-like way. Hope this helps...praying for you dear brother.