Thank you all, brothers and sisters! I'm very encouraged to read the testimonies of God's work in your lives, and to read the honest confessions of hearts. Thank you.
I must say, I feel like I am about to enter a new, exciting chapter of my life, in my walk with Christ. I am still young spiritually, though I have said in the past to brethren, that as much as I already gone through with my dear Lord Jesus in these past 2 years, I cannot fathom how it will be after 30 years, if I will be a pilgrim here that long. I have tasted of the Lord and I know He is gracious!
I live about six hours away from my parents, and I moved here 10-12 months ago. It is a long, marvelous story of how God lead me up to this point, but I am thankful to say this was God's will for me. My brother and I moved here to grow spiritually, become disciples, but I never imagined how God would fulfill that desire. Shortly after I moved here, God broke me for the first time in my walk with Him. Oh praise Him, there are no words anywhere in any tongue to describe the awesomeness of that time! (and it was during the time when I, by God's abundant grace, stumbled upon SermonIndex) Oh how glorious it was, and ever since then, I have had longings to have such a filling of the Holy Spirit again, it was certainly was a revival within me. During my time here in this city/town, I have seen people come to Christ, young people especially, and I have been blessed oh so richly! The congregation that I fellowship with often, I have watched God break them, and gloriously watched the rebuilding, hearts on fire for God, people coming to Christ! For the first time, I heard anointed messages coming forth from the pulpit, and oh how my heart rejoiced!
Yet, sad to say, I did not stay in such sweet fellowship with my Father, and soon I found myself forcing myself to spend time with the Lord, and I started to realize that I had taken my eyes off of Jesus. I began seeing fruit in my life that could not be of the Spirit of Christ, and my heart became convicted to return to the Lord again. And I did, yet it seemed that my sweet times of fellowship with the Father were short, and my heart abruptly would harden again. I couldn't understand it, and it grieved me, but apparently not enough to forsake everything for the sake of my Saviour!
During the time that I've lived here, one of the blessings has been that I have spent much time alone, because God used those times to guide me into deeper union with Christ. How thankful I am! I'm thinking of a quote I once read, by Spurgeon, "I have learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages", or something along that line.
And so yes, God has done many many good things in my life already, after only two years of faith, and I am not worthy to have received any of it!! though He gives it again and again! And He has put a heavy desire and burden on my heart since my conversion, (though at times I seemed to have lost sight of it), for the salvation of the souls of men, and His glorification! And a burden/desire to preach for Christ, and I pray He will let me preach for Him, but either way, I am not worthy of such a wonderful honor! Though I will never stop sharing Christ with the world, regardless of what is to come, or so I pray.
And now, as my [earthly] schooling comes to an end here, I feel* led to move back home to my parents house, to serve God there. My whole family has converted since my brother and I did, and there is now the beginnings of another fort for Christ there in that town, and I feel that God has much ahead for that region yet *(NOT THAT MY FEELINGS MEAN A THING!!! God do what He may, I'm not here to forecast the Spirit of God, John 3:8 came to mind)
Presently, God has once again been giving me a greater love for the Scriptures, and a greater understanding/revelation of certain things. I openly confess though, that I am not as close to God as I want/NEED to be, and I do not want to be out of fellowship with God, especially if He has work for me. I want to be continuously ready for service to Him, great or small, and I wish my heart once again experienced revival. I pray this for all of you, and for all the saints that read this and use SI.
Whether I do move, or not, I want my heart to be moved, to be tearfully burdened for the revival of God's people and salvation of the lost souls all over the earth. I don't know if this is necessarily appropriate to post this on this thread, but perhaps ya'll would pray for me in this.
Thank you all :)