Dealing with a contentious man.

If you ignore a contentious man or woman you rob them of their fire. When Jesus was confronted by His enemies it is said He was " dumb before His accusers." He said nothing to them in His defense because their minds were already made up, any defense would have been futile and would only add to their hatred. Maybe you have been in a running battle with someone for years. For a long time you have defended yourself and you find yourself in an endless loop of contention. I believe the Lord would say to you today " stop defending yourself." Find your security in Him. It is only a sense of insecurity, however small, that leads you to defend yourself. You will never convince your agitator otherwise, simply withdraw from the fight and discover your peace.....bro Frank

Proverbs 26:21\t
As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.

Being contentious is a very self-seeking attitude and causes harm to others for the seemingly benefit of one's self.

A good word brother Frank.

Good word brother. One cannot help but notice the irony though...lots of contention here on SI. What is the solution then? Some people will just keep going even if noone answers them. And then they get mad because no one answers them. Paul spoke to Titus and told him that a contentious man was to be warned and then Titus was to have nothing to do with him. Perhaps that might teach him a lesson? If you don't do this you have "endless" fights and squabbles.

Bring back the shunning!!! :-)

The humbling thing about this is that I have been on both sides of the issue. I have been a contentious man and I have dealt with contentious men, usually pretty badly. Yet the Lord laid that word on my heart early this morning as I walked and so I was being obedient in giving it. He did give me a follow up word before I finished my walk, it was this.............. "The only thing worse than a man with a bitter heart who is in the wrong, is the man with a bitter heart who is in the right." ..........bro Frank

Amen brother Frank. I am not sure if I am completely delivered of a contentious spirit, I am sure my wife would know the answer though:-) But as a work in progress I see the loving hand of Father dealing with these "kinds" of things in my life. I have a long, long way to go but the journey out of "bitterland" for me began last August and has truly been an awakening. And what an interesting journey...the longer we have held bitterness, the longer it takes to work it out, or so it seems. But God is able to save thoroughly and deeply as we by faith allow Him full and total access.

One thing the Lord has impressed on me very deeply in this area is to cease in judging others and to get to work on vigorously judging myself. In other words, there are lots of telephone poles that I need to remove from my eyes...and they are not going to fall out by themselves, at least thats what I think Jesus meant:-)

The humbling thing about this is that I have been on both sides of the issue.

Amen. We all have some of this in our hearts that needs to be mortified by the Spirit (Colossians 3:4-6). I have struggled with this with various brethren at times also, even you and me Frank at one period. I thank God for the victory and that I was wrong in many areas and was shown exactly where I could humble myself.

2 humble saints can never contend together!

The brother quoted James 3: "But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descends not from above, but is earthly, sensual, and devilish"

This is really the core perhaps of the issue, in the heart we are trusting our own human wisdom which is full of devilish attitudes.

Good post bro Mark. Honesty and transparency are the truly the signs of the Holy Spirit working in a man, thanks for your honesty and I totally agree with what you say.........bro Frank

Bro Greg writes...........

" I have struggled with this with various brethren at times also, even you and me Frank at one period. I thank God for the victory and that I was wrong in many areas and was shown exactly where I could humble myself."

I believe that you and I are a great example my brother. Our relationship should not have survived. Without humility and repentance we would have no relationship. Many times I sinned against you in word and in thought. I am a fortunate man that the Lord is long suffering with us. Oh how sweet is His faithfulness to us. As I consider some other threads on SI right now, it makes my heart sore. I think of 1 Cor 13 and that we can know all mysteries but if we do not have love, then what do we have? We can even give our bodies to be burned for His sake but without love what would the profit be?

Let us pray together that the Lord would open up the eyes of our hearts and that love would be the conquering force that routs the enemy and sends him to flight. May this forum be an example of saints following hard after the Lord and dying to the flesh. Faith is a wonderful thing and what would our lives be like without hope, but love towers over even them and abides eternally...........bro Frank

Dear brothers, I want you to imagine I just typed one million amens to your posts:-) Thank you so much for your openness and honesty, may God continue to have His way in our hearts.