Hello im wesley. Just logged in for the first time.

Just wanted to say im leaving for israel next month God willing. i still have debts to pay, and am tempted (if it is a temptation) to start a business here, but cant stand being in this city (nyc) much longer, unless God brings judgement very soon. Too much provision for the flesh. Mature me Lord and take me home, doing your work along the way!

my understanding of grace is growing. But i keep trying in my own strength again, and thats when temptations are stronger. i have to remember that it is God thats works in me. Longing for heaven, so much more of the reality of God. Reading book of martyrs. many half christians trying to stop them from going on to golgatha (i think thats how you spell it). Pick up your cross and follow You where Lord? To physical death. But must desire heaven more than here. Power from the Holy Spirit. Woe to the rich of this world!! (poorest in america, and other rich parts of the world are considered rich compared to the majority of this world). who did james say were rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom? the (financially) poor!!! where your treasure is..

One more thing: pride is a big problem. i noticed when im truly broken, breathing deep, focused on the Lord, humbled, lowly of mind esteeming others better than myself, reminded its all grace, than that is when the Spirit flows freely and powerfully, and constantly. And i have 😂 joy.

Blessings, thanks for reading!

wesley

Hello Wesley, thanks for posting. I had similar problems with the city of Liverpool, my birthplace in England as a young Christian. These cities sound really appealing but young Christians can get lost in them. Maybe if you get to Israel you will have the environment to become more established in the Lord

David

brother greg,

thanks for replying and welcoming me. For sure we need each other all the more as we see that day approaching! Finding the elect will be easier i think when more persecution/hardships come. Thats what we all need.

Once saved not always saved..right, only he who overcomes and he who endures to the end will be saved.

All by grace. A grace driven effort. Grace rules! So freeing, must allow God to be God in and through me. Getting exhausted trying in my own strength..i can't do it!!

blessings

david,

Nice to hear from an englishman! i have a special longing to go there maybe Lord willing and enjoy hearing brothers from there. i especially enjoy hearing the one of a kind leonard ravenhill, and am sort of pen pals with his son david. my middle name is john and am intrigued every time i hear about john wesley or charles. john bunyan, wonderful! especially like visions of heaven and hell. i dont have many books, but two of my treasures are george mullers autobiography, and george whitefields journal. i wish i could go to Bible college of wales but maybe not much time..

thank you, yes, im now attending times square church, and came here last nov. specifically to be a part of the church here. God i know called me here, but find it difficult..have backslidden and tempted yet again strongly. But afraid He will not give me another chance. i dont want to play games. time is short. people are saying go to teen challenge program, don't go to israel, and im willing to stay if judgement comes very soon here. isa.26:9

take down the lofty looks etc. But, the filthy, vulgar, in your face advertisements im bombarded with daily is vexing my spirit for sure. On top of the filthy language and half naked women everywhere. the militant homosexuals too. He does say make no provision for the flesh..and regardless of how mature in Christ you are, its my conviction that there are certain provisions of the flesh that are common to all. its terrible everywhere, especially tv/media. And this city is particularly evil.

God loves this city and i feel His heart for it. On the subways and on the streets. im not sure who to listen to..but sense maybe He does want me here for now..God help me! Give me direction!!
His grace can get me through any place..ive already been kept pure long periods of time in this place!! im not a new christian either. i know we can mature as fast or as slow as we want in the Lord. leonard ravenhill said (and i agree), that God takes us home when we get mature. the martyrs certainly knew this first hand..Jesus our prime example only had a short 3 yr. ministry (after being baptized and being filled with the Holy Spirit), then went on to be with His Father in His early 30's!!!

david brainerd also went to be with the Lord in his late 20's!..he poured himself out, fully surrendered, suffered to the end without holding back, hence being matured quickly and then taken home. Too many christians nowadays (especially in the rich areas of the world) are, in my opinion, unwilling to surrender their will/plans/agendas, the world/money/their own will still is more attractive to them, and/or they love family members/unsaved loved ones more than Him, don't want pain/sufferring/sacrafice, and hence cannot go all the way with Him. So many traps, so few will find.

Anyways, yes i am still thinking about israel, but still not sure. it seems like a better environment, but the hardened religious jews might be another issue. Looking for poor people, desperate situations. it seems if people aren't wanting to kill us, (like they wanted to kill Jesus and His disciples) most everywhere we go, than we're probrably not as close to the Lord as we ought to be. Sounds right, especially in this day when Jesus said you will be hated of all and killed etc.

i was told recently it seems harder to stay in Gods will and not run..bloom where im planted...anyway, His will be done!!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences of the city Wesley.