How do we respond to criticism?

sermonindex Mar 6, 2017

How we respond to criticism is the measure of the man. It gives an insight into the security and the humility of the one being criticized. An adverse reaction to criticism is directly related to the flesh in us, the greater the reaction the greater the flesh and the more that pride still weighs us down. I speak not from theory. All of my life this has been one of my greatest struggles and disappointments. Putting to death the flesh and walking in humility is so often tied to controlling the tongue.............bro Frank

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TMK Mar 6, 2017

I am not easily offended which is a blessing, and honestly the most criticism I get is in this forum, if disagreement can be considered criticism. I don't do as good of a job at biting my tongue as I should. Discussion is ok but as Greg sometimes says sometimes you have to let the other guy have the last word and be gracious about it.

sermonindex Mar 6, 2017

Bro Todd writes.......

"I don't do as good of a job at biting my tongue as I should."

Well bro, we are both in the same boat it seems :) .........bro Frank

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MrBillPro Mar 6, 2017

Brothers Frank and Todd, when we learn we CAN teach ourselves to be different, it's such a wonderful Blessing.I never was a person that was easily offended, I have a pretty thick skin, but I did not like the fact that I felt the need to respond, even if it was in a humorous way. Now I just let my responses go, and life is so much more peaceful. I think it's human nature to want to respond, especially on the internet to everything that don't line up with our thinking, but trust me, you can beat that bondage, it's not easy, but it's possible, just ask me. :-)

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Lysa Mar 7, 2017

I had an absolutely horrible boss who believed with every fiber of her being she was God's gift to Christianity :/ She criticized everything... in the name of love, she took away our hours and gave them to her family because of course, "they needed them and it was her business." If you called her on it, then she was the martyr because she was right about everything. Her poor husband, I had no idea how that man lived with her.

Can I say that many things that frustrated me about that woman I had in me? :) And I guess it took the 3 years I worked for her to work it all out, I don't know!! LOL But I knew I couldn't quit because He gave me the job.

The reason for me even mentioning this is that at the time my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and I had to deal with my sister on a day to day basis... who was just like my boss. One day God put two and two together for me and showed me that my sister was as fragile emotionally as my boss and then I knew why I was there, to learn to get a long with my sister.

God had to take me the long way around that mountain!!! Things aren't perfect with my sister, she's still the same but He's still working on me!! Blessed be the name of the Lord!!

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savannah Mar 7, 2017

It's all on the record!

The proof is in the pudding!

Just go look at the 1000's of posts you've written on the SI forum.

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ginnyrose Mar 7, 2017

savannah, is it ok to chuckle? Well, I did.

Sandra

sermonindex Mar 7, 2017

Savannah writes........

"It's all on the record!

The proof is in the pudding!

Just go look at the 1000's of posts you've written on the SI forum"

So much for love keeping no record :) That is why I wrote ..............

"All of my life this has been one of my greatest struggles and disappointments. Putting to death the flesh and walking in humility is so often tied to controlling the tongue."

Perhaps a plank in the eye has blinded you to my confession? :)............bro Frank (I just broke my sentiments by responding to this :)

Maybe you can just kill me quickly rather that burning me at the stake because of my confession? :)

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savannah Mar 7, 2017

Case in point! Just look at the two responses which follow my previous post. There is your answer.

BTW - When I wrote about looking at the 1000's of posts you've written, I had no individual in mind. The 'you' being plural. And I especially did not have you in mind Frank, as you have not written 1000's. You have just reached the 1000 mark today.

And on a sweeter note, one of my favorite candies when I was a child was "Chuckles".

Whoso is covering his transgressions prospereth not, And he who is confessing and forsaking them hath mercy.
Proverbs 28:13

sermonindex Mar 7, 2017

Savannah writes.........

"Just go look at the 1000's of posts you've written on the SI forum." To whom were you referring to Savannah? I made the mistake of reading it in the plain English.

"You've" must mean something different in your world bro or sister.
I have actually probably witten well over 4000 posts. I was on vacation for a couple of years and when I got back I started from zero :) Which, I am sure you will agree, is a tragic loss for all. But I am glad it amuses the peanut gallery :) .............bro Frank

No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light. The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness. Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness.
(Luk 11:33-35)

sermonindex Mar 7, 2017

How we respond to criticism is the measure of the man. It gives an insight into the security and the humility of the one being criticized. An adverse reaction to criticism is directly related to the flesh in us, the greater the reaction the greater the flesh and the more that pride still weighs us down. I speak not from theory. All of my life this has been one of my greatest struggles and disappointments. Putting to death the flesh and walking in humility is so often tied to controlling the tongue.............bro Frank

brother Frank,

Thank you for sharing this, it truly is a struggle for us all to follow and emulate Christ in this area. One man sought counsel from a monk in the desert, he complained that people derided him where-ever he went. The counsel from the godly man was to pay each person who spoke evil of him. After many years he was told by the godly man to now stop paying each person. When we went to the next city a man derided him, and the response was great joy from the man. When he was asked by others why he said that he didn't even have to pay the man to speak evil of him, it was for free!

It seemed he received a level of victory through his walk with God in this area and became more identified with Christ in his walk.

sermonindex Mar 7, 2017

Good word brother Greg,

And in the spirit of that word I shall not reply any more in this thread. I will leave what I have said. I think I am still paying. I must have started with very deep pockets :) God bless you Greg............bro Frank

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dohzman Mar 7, 2017

Mat 12:24
But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, This fellow doth not cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the prince of the devils.
Matt 12:24-45
Mat 12:34
O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

Rev 11:5
And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies: and if any man will hurt them, he must in this manner be killed.

Hummmmm, I think our concept of dialogue is sometimes more sanitized at least in our minds than it is in real life and in what we see biblically. I do agree that we should seek to be at peace with all men/women especially those of the household of faith. The major trouble with dialogue in PRINT is that conveying the full import of ones ideas or thoughts is VERY difficult and leaves a ton of room for misunderstanding and allows the reader room to second guess what the writer meant and visa versa, as the responses start to come back and the conversation moves forward, especially when some many be more predisposed toward sarcasm that others may be

sermonindex Mar 8, 2017

Read what Bro T.A.Sparks says on the same subject, it is wonderful............

"You and I will be the sufferers if we let our spirit of revenge lead us out in any way to this gratification; we will suffer if we adopt carnal methods. It will be true that if we take the sword to live by it, we will perish by it. He gave place unto wrath. "Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him; if he thirsts give him a drink." That is victory. That is triumph. That puts the Spirit of the Lord Jesus into our hearts, and the result is, what? So often just this wonderful thing, that the one upon whom we might have reaped vengeance, is saved, and instead of being an avenger of blood we ourselves have become a city of refuge. It is far better to be a city of refuge than an avenger of blood. In which position do we stand? One who pursues, or a city of refuge? The Lord Jesus, had He exercised His powers of judgment against His enemies, would have been an avenger of blood, but He chose rather to pray for their forgiveness and became a City of Refuge. Which are we?

"Now I am not going to say any more than just this, but what I feel to need myself, what I feel to be the need in a far greater way for the Lord's children, especially distinctive companies of the Lord's children gathered together in fellowships and assemblies here and there in order that they might approximate more fully to the likeness of the Lord Jesus, the great need is for more love. Do you not feel the need of that? I do for myself, and I do covet for the Lord's people above everything else, a wonderful spirit of love.

"Criticism, suspicion, questionings, doubtings, distance, aloofness, all these and many other things just destroy our usefulness to the Lord and rob us of many precious opportunities, and stand entirely in the way of our own spiritual progress. We may have a wonderful lot of knowledge, but knowledge puffs up. Love builds up, and if we really want to be built up we are not going to be built up by knowledge, we are going to be built up by love. That means the Lord can give us so much more of His precious unveiling. If we have more love be sure that revelation will come along the line of love, and then the Lord can give us to fulfil much more mighty potent ministry on behalf of other souls if we have love. There is all the difference between having truth about delivering souls and trying to exercise that truth and getting nowhere, and having love which does it. It is not our getting down on our knees with a difficult case in the middle and beginning to exercise ourselves in a lot of doctrine about delivering souls from the devil. The Lord does not do it that way. A city of refuge is a city of grace, and for others to get deliverance is not for them to come to a place where there is a lot of wonderful teaching; it is to come into a place where there is a lot of wonderful grace. Oh, that we might be a true city of refuge! That is, those who really are harassed might know this is a place for their succour and their deliverance, not because we have light but because we have grace. What is true for the company must be true for us individually.

"The Lord just follow that into our hearts, and if we cry for anything at all, let it be for more love, for grace. Grace is the thing by which the Lord has accomplished His purposes and that is how it will always be."

Taken from: Cities of Refuge
By: T. Austin-Sparks

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twayneb Mar 8, 2017

How we respond to criticism is the measure of the man. It gives an insight into the security and the humility of the one being criticized. An adverse reaction to criticism is directly related to the flesh in us, the greater the reaction the greater the flesh and the more that pride still weighs us down. I speak not from theory. All of my life this has been one of my greatest struggles and disappointments. Putting to death the flesh and walking in humility is so often tied to controlling the tongue.............bro Frank

AMEN Bro. Frank. I really appreciate this post. It honestly gets to the core of our walk with God. God has been dealing with me very strongly, personally, about this very thing lately. It has so much to do with identity and surrender. There have been posts recently about reckoning ourselves dead indeed unto sin and alive unto God. This is where the rubber of this death meets the road for sure. God is so good about highlighting the areas of my life where I need to be conformed to His image, and then giving me the tools, revelation, and power to change. He never called us to change, but to decide to allow ourselves to be changed by His Holy Spirit. We cannot learn to walk in the Spirit...in the flesh. Won't work!

I am realizing more and more what God has done in me, and who I am in Christ. That revelation of identity makes me understand that I no longer live life in the flesh, but in the Spirit. I am a son of God. I have been born of the Spirit of God. I am a new creation. I am dead to the old man and alive unto God. In that realization, I am learning that my flesh rising up, pride, offense, anger, human indignation, at things that are said or done to me is not the reaction of the new man, but the vestiges of the flesh that still cling to my soul and body.

I told my wife the other day that we as a married couple have somehow learned how to push each other's buttons. We so often focus on the other person and how they need to change so that our buttons are no longer pushed. But I have been realizing that God simply does not want me to have buttons. That is death to self.

You know brother, it is really interesting to me to see how God is speaking many of the same things right now to so many different parts of His body. This same revelation has been something that many in our church fellowship have also been learning. I am hearing it everywhere. I know God wants to get this revelation worked into us and the flesh worked out of us. Our redemption draweth nigh. There is much to do. We must be changed into His image from glory to glory to be effective in these last days.

Thanks brother.

sermonindex Mar 8, 2017

Travis writes..........

" I know God wants to get this revelation worked into us and the flesh worked out of us. Our redemption draweth nigh. There is much to do. We must be changed into His image from glory to glory to be effective in these last days."

Indeed brother, indeed...............bro Frank