Open mind.... closed mind....losing my mind???

So I have been trying something at my church that isn't working well. Whenever a major doctrinal difference arises between myself and another believer, I say "Let's get together and look at the scriptures and see what the Word says." I am serious about it. But it isn't working. We all know we shouldn't shut out other believers and have a closed mind to them, but we all know we shouldn't have such an open mind that we say "amen" to just anything anyone says. This is driving me crazy. It's driving me crazy because invariably everyone wants to defend their belief--which is fine, I guess--but how do we gain within ourselves the ability to listen rather than divide?

How have you all approached this at your fellowships? How do we encourage healthy scripture study and seeking the Lord regarding matters amongst believers? There is a way to do this that honors the Lord. There is a way to do this without being prideful, but by golly it ain't easy! Each party has to be humble and practicing giving preference to one another in honor. How to we move this direction? I believe it should be a joy to do this, but it seems to end up being contentious. How do we do this? Thoughts?

Can you give an example? How significant is the doctrinal difference?

I mean, I could give several examples, but the content doesn't matter. It could be as simple as why Jesus wept during the resurrection of Lazarus to something like the doctrine of eternal security. I just want to facilitate discussion amongst my fellow believers in a godly way without pride getting in the way.

Maybe you could ask them why they are reluctant to do a Bible study with you.

I am learning that to be knowledgeable of the scriptures will put you at odds with those who are very concerned about the 'fear of man'. I suppose there are various reasons for this, but the heart of it is - I think - is that people want to be religious enough to get by but are not interested in being a disciple. In a matter of a couple weeks I personally heard some mild mocking - by people who consider themselves Christian - against people who are serious about serving the LORD.

My opinion.

Sandra

It's driving me crazy because invariably everyone wants to defend their belief--which is fine, I guess--but how do we gain within ourselves the ability to listen rather than divide?

A great question for our time. We need to take a firm stand on the authority of the Scriptures and yet at the same time we must manifest the love of God and maintain unity among those who have submitted themselves to the Lord. The battle is on both of these fronts, we don't have the luxury of fighting the devil on only one front.

It requires much prayer and careful submission to the Holy Spirit as we confront the issues that come up. We cannot accommodate unbiblical views that are creeping into the church and neither can we let our distinctives become a chasm.

I feel your frustration and sense that we need to do better in this area than others before us, learning from their mistakes. Slowing down the slide of our culture will depend on it.

In Christ,

Good morning.

Perhaps you should find something you both believe in, something precious and study that together. All will be enriched and edified this way. All will learn and increase in grace.

The Moravian 100 year prayer revival began after 24 believer's agreed to focus on what they agreed on rather than what they disagreed on. We know what happened there!!

Rusty

Thank you, rufnrust for that reminder. And to a great degree, we do that. The things we all agree on, we know and understand well and frequently are edified regarding them.

However, I got to a very diverse church and their are many who come from different backgrounds. Doctrinal, moral, and practical differences abound. Some are not worth addressing (like the color of the walls). Some (like doctrine of eternal security, whether or not America has a special covenant with God, or whether or not Jesus Calling is scriptural------please don't address those directly) have been points of discussion as of late. Now I have strong ideas about these topics, but so does everyone else.

These things need to be hashed out humbly and biblically, because they are important issues, and they do affect us.

A LOT of what happens is someone will say, "The Lord spoke to me/showed me/revealed to me/etc thus and thus...." And that immediately just throws everything into confusion.

How should we biblically address this stuff. How can we, as a local body, move toward dealing with any issue with grace and love?

"A LOT of what happens is someone will say, "The Lord spoke to me/showed me/revealed to me/etc thus and thus...." And that immediately just throws everything into confusion.

How should we biblically address this stuff. How can we, as a local body, move toward dealing with any issue with grace and love?"

I almost feel tears in my eyes reading this. Maybe just where I am at the moment, but wondering about things is exhausting and often frustrating. Sometimes I think my whole curiosity level is shrinking about everything I've always been drawn to in Christ. What I mean by that is I think I'm just settling in on things instead of being so curious. Partly because my curiosity has not lead me to answers or necessarily even truth.

When I read your post here, havok20X, it makes me think of all the curiosities and "hows" I've asked over the years and the lack of ever arriving at anything. It is frustrating.

May the Lord Jesus lead you and keep you in peace on all of this. May He speak to you truth and may He bring you into a place of not needing to have such discussions with other believers. I do think that bearing that desire or need is a burden to be laid aside somewhere along the walk.

Ephesians 4:11-16

"And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head””Christ””from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love."

^This is my goal.

If I stated to someone (edit: and this is a "for instance," I wasn't trying to hijack the thread, it's about the question he asks), that I believed in the post-tribulation rapture of the church and someone told me, "Let's get together and look at the scriptures and see what the Word says," there is no way, shape or form that I would think they were trying to become my friend.

It doesn't matter about the other person being humble because sadly THAT particular sentence you are using doesn't come off as YOU being humble.

It's driving me crazy because invariably everyone wants to defend their belief--which is fine, I guess--but how do we gain within ourselves the ability to listen rather than divide?

God bless you,
Lisa

edited for clarity

Lysa,

That's exactly what I am talking about. I don't want to debate and argue. I want us to discuss the truth of Scripture and everyone walk away loving each other more, loving Jesus more, and having been firmly planted in His truth.

I don't care to be right, per se. What do I have that I have not received? If I have received it, why should I boast as if I have not received it? I just want to be more and more conformed to the imagine Christ, and I want that for my brothers and sisters in my church as well. Now I understand that I am not in charge of that, but I certainly would love to grow with them in knowledge and love and truth.

Again, my goal is Ephesians 4:11-16.

Believe me, I understand that all of this applies to me as well. I need to be humble as well. I need to be teachable as well. But how do we, as a local body of believers, start moving this direction?

Brother,

I believe you've missed my point. It doesn't matter where your heart is, your question or the phrase of it, could be what is offensive to them; I know it would be to me.

God bless

Well...lol...how would you phrase it?

Any more ideas?

...since the main doctrines of our faith are widely accepted and should not be contentious, when we come together as believers we should focus on reinforcing these matters, such as justification by faith alone in Christ alone through grace alone etc.and follow the I Corinthians 12 to 14 pattern of coming together for mutual encouragement and admonition to continue holding fast to the head, Jesus Christ and to practice sincere love for the brethren and to do good to all men,as we wait expectantly for the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ from Heaven.

We are, for example, to comfort one another with the teaching of Christ's return and the place He is preparing for us who believe, not divide over when we think He will appear...