i hope this post doesn't turn into those really long posts, because i tend not to read those either.
brethren.
i have felt led to post about this for some time and have only had the time to write about it now.
growing up, i attended a church in 'the hood' in north central, Regina. Regina's, north central was deemed the worst place in Canada. within 'the hood' there was a church with a private school attached to it. i grew up there for a majority of my childhood. i often moved from city to city and school to school, but my mom, (who was single most of the time, along with my 3 other brothers, and sister that eventually came along when i was a teenager)always had us moving back to this place.
this church was led by a pastor that has been there for over 20 years. it was always interesting because he was white(?) and a majority of his congregation, including my family was native/indigenous/Indian (w.e). as i grew up i seen this church have lots of different speakers come through, some 'prophets, apostles, bishops' almost anything because this church tended to have a strong Pentecostal/full gospel/charismatic influence. i have seen miracles, but i also seen those miracles go back on themselves. the pastor was always known as 'having faith in the spirit that he'd let anything happen' during the service, happen. so, everything went, you know, speaking in tongues, laying of hands, being touched by the spirit, altar calls, etc. this was what i seen and knew for most of my childhood, into my early teens. i also went back as a man in my early 20's, (pretty much after i found out about this website.)
after i left home when i was 16, i went to caronport high school, for free. (it cost about 8500 to attend)this was only possible through my mentor and his connection that they believed in me and what the work of Jesus was doing in my life. (for which i will always be eternally grateful)
right out of high school i went to briercrest bible college for a total of 7 years. in my first year, i almost failed, because i was chasing a girl. then my second semester i dedicated a majority of my time to reading my NIV bible and was pretty much changed. my grades got dramatically better and well, my knowledge of the new testament was at a 'new level'. my second year, i was introduced to sermonindex through a dear brother who hosted weekly sermons and prayer times on Sundays. it was pretty consistent. those times were precious. that's when i first heard keith daniels, Katz, paris reidhead, and was then burdened to pray and know the presence of God like these men. he kept this 'meeting' for maybe 2 years, and it usually had good attendance. when he introduced me to paul washer, i was introduced into something i never thought i would think about, or want to apply to my life. which was proper theology and a deeper yearning to learning the presence of God. (at this time, Katz sermons went way above my head and didn't understand the depth of his sermons the first times around). i eventually gave my 3-6th years to theology and prayer. (i read david brainard, e.m bounds, Ravenhil, Tozer, tons of sermons, like all the featured sermons of those times and many different series) it was at this point that i started to evangelize and do some open air. i continued on evangelizing on the streets and what not for almost 2-3 years. i still always went back to the church i grew up in during this time, and i would always try to bring some statement of faiths from paul washers website, and some from denny kenastons. i also tried to bring him spurgeons 1855 catechism. something simple to encourage the people he was 'leading' i did this because in that church he led, a lot of the people in it 'habitually backslid'. even though they were always going up for prayer during the altar calls. i thought these things would 'strengthen the weak.' but every time i brought him these things, he'd send me away, or told me to start my own church. then in my 7th year, i did some papers about residential schools. when i read stories after stories of kids being abused all types of ways, for speaking in their language, a language they only knew, kids dying when they tried to run back to their own homes. tons of horrible things, that was all done in the name of 'Jesus' whether it be catholic to Jesuit. i would often leave the library crying and wouldn't be able to find solace in the times of prayer that i always had. nothing to help when i meditated on the scriptures other than frustration and bitterness. i continued on this way till my 7th year was done. i was back in Regina and tried to continue to go to the same pastor to work with my people but he continued to tell me to start my own congregation or just send me away. eventually i started having a beer. you know, 'just a beer, in the christian sense'. well then after that beer, i pretty much started partying and ended up hanging around with the worst people to party with in the city. during this time, i still read and kept up to date on the forums, just reading, seen a lot of people leave, a lot of fights, i guess you can say i watched this website grow without my lifestyle matching the sermons i heard. one of brothergary's posts snapped me out of what i was living in. i think it was about weed,(this was years ago) anyways, i got a trade and realized that partying wasn't for me. except for smoking weed. (every time i did, i always thought about his post) then one time while high, i listened to a song by shai linne, called 'not to us' and all of a sudden something cliqued, but then again, around this time my ex was giving birth to my baby girl in Calgary. the song and the thought of my daughter coming into this world reminded me of the second birth.
was i really saved? was everything i learned and prayed about in college just a facade. despite those feelings and thoughts, i felt life again, i started to listen to sermons, i started to pray, i started to evangelize and i started to go back to the church i grew up in again. by this time, some of the people i used to party with, were gang related, walked away from gangs and gave up the partying lifestyle too. people that i used to talk to about Jesus ,(they usually hated it) now loved to talk about Jesus. i started attending and talking to the pastor to let me work with him. he finally let me go on different trips to the hospital and pray for people. but every time i talked to him about theology he kind of pushed me away. so i started to look at other churches to attend, but every time i went to different churches i was pretty much shunned. i always brought my bible and dressed nicely to fit in, but because of the stigma and racism in Regina, my skin color often kept me as an outcast in many churches that was predominately white. which was frustrating for me because my education was in pastoral studies and if i compared what i experienced in churches to what i have learned from school and the bible, i don't think i was in 'church'. anyways, i finally found a church that i think only accepted me because of the mentor that got me into that expensive high school. if it wasn't for that connection i don't think i would have been accepted. anyways. all that to say this.
i went to this church where i was finally accepted through my mentor. this church was fun to be part of, i attended sunday school, church services, breakfasts, i volunteered and bought books. their worship was nice and Christ glorifying, the pastors sermons were spirit led, it was a really nice church to be in. i was there for about 2 years, all the while i was there, they didn't have a group that reached out to native people, their neighbors, in north central. instead, they gave money to missionaries that did some work, good work, but some. and this is a huge problem, much like the government, they just threw money at the problem instead of getting their hands dirty and being Christ like to heal the problem.
around the same time as this i was introduced to another church. this church was sensitive to the 'truth and reconciliation with native people' which was a call by the church and the government, this church seemed to be one of the few that has responded to the call. they got involved with people in north central. they gave money to the group that is in north central that is strongly involved there. they gave so much of themselves that it kind of put the other church to shame in a way. while they served and gave money, this church has homosexual's in leadership, Christians believe in reincarnation, the big bang, everything that some Christians on this website opposes.
that's it for now. that's been some of my experience. im continually grateful for this website and some of its contributors in the forum. i spent years, even in my partying days praying for the brothers i met through this website. im grateful for the longevity of this website too and how God continued this website. im gonna write another post, but i felt that i should write this post first.
