Oh how my heart goes out to you and aches with yours. I know that I know I am and have lived through all you are going through. I too was raised in a religious home, went to religious school. When it was all said and done, I had never heard I needed to be born again and I was just as empty as anyone who had never heard of God or Jesus Christ. I believed in God and Jesus without a doubt. But I had no personal relationship with them, and I was a prisoner to my works, half works, and continuous failures. I could probably write a book about my life and struggles. But I will attempt to spare you here. I was struggling like you one day, and crying out to the Lord I, I, I, I.....He said "Son, it's never been about you". "It's always been about Jesus". Oh how I stopped in my tracks and worshipped Him.Dorcas you said:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise - think on these things. The above is a verse I have struggled with for years. What is 'true'? What is 'honest'? What is 'just'? what is 'pure'? What is 'lovely'? what is 'of good report'? What is 'virtue'? What is 'praise'-worthy?How does one turn one's mind to dwell on 'these things'? This is the challenge to our materialistic society. Step One: Turn off your TV. There is hardly anything true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of virtue or praise worthy on TV. It is impossible to continually watch tv and "think on these things". "These things" are found in a lifestyle that is consumed and immersed in Jesus Christ. The fountain of "all these things" is the Word of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. The more we seek first the kingdom of God and His righeousness....I said, His righteousness.....His Word says "His righteousness", then all these other things will be added unto you. Anyone who is truly born again knows of the struggle between flesh and spirit. It will not cease until we give up our spirit from this body and this world and move into that glorious light forever more. But until then, there's the battle. The flesh will never change, never be regenerated. It is corupt and destined to corumption. It can only be overcome and crucified. Who wins a battle in a war? Is it not the side that is best trained, best equipped, best nourished, and so on? If we sew to our spirits, we reap eternal life in this life. If we sew to our flesh, we reap distruction. Stop feeding your flesh, and it will die. Feed your spirit and it will overcome. But remember, there is not battle inside, unless you are born again. The very fact that there is a battle is witness of your new birht and salvation. Glory! Finally, dear saints, if I had to place my hope in my works for one glimpse of heaven's joy, I'd be eternally lost in darkness. There is no rest in works of redemption. None. Works are very seductive. They appeal to the flesh..."I can redeem myself". Did not Paul, our dear Apostle, write that what he wanted to do he could not do and those things he did not want to do he did? Paul cried out 3 times to be relieved from his torment of ungodliness in thought and deed. God told him what? "My grace....My grace....MY UNMERITED FAVOR.....is SUFFICIENT for thee". Glory to God. Glory to God. Glory to God. Alleluia. Grace, grace, grace. How do we get unmerited favor? By faith! Faith in what? Our works? Oh God deliver me from my works that are nothing but filthy rags before thee. No, beloved, it is by faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ our Lord. It is His shed blood sprinkled on me, and sprinkled on you that gives us hope. Paul said that "the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing". Is he speaking of the ungodly? Probably. But not just the ungodly. He is speaking to the religious and self righteous. He went on to say in 1 Cor 1:18, that to those of us who are being saved, "it is the power of God".For us to be saved takes a work of God, not a work of man. The work has been done, beloved. That is why there is rest and rejoicing in His kingdom. Romans 14:17 says that the kingdom of God is righteousness, heart peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. Are you living in the "kingdom". Did not Jesus say that the kingdom was "at hand"? Did He not tell his disciples to go tell others? Yes He did, and I'm telling you right now. The Kingdom is at hand. It is righteousness, not ours but His righteousness that is imputed to us by unmerited favor through faith in the cross. It is "heart peace", that comes from placing all of our eternal hope for joy and glory of God's heaven in the shed blood of Jesus Christ on Calvary. Nothing can shake it. It is cast forever in stone. It is unchangable. Our works of flesh, our failure to do good when we know to do good, nothing can seperate us from this peace, because our hope is not in our works of flesh, not even in our obedience. Our hope for justification is totally dependent upon the cross. It is the power of God to save us, to cleans us, to deliver us from ourselves. That power is brought forth by faith in Him, not ourselves. Without faith it is impossible to please God. WE are saved to the uttermost. You simply cannot be any more saved than that. It's a done deal. I am eternally secure as long as I have my hope in the finished work of Jesus Christ and His blood shed for and applied unto me by unmerited favor through faith. What is the result? Eternal life of course. But what about the kingdom? It is joy in the Holy Spirit. JOY! JOY! JOY! Where does joy come from? From being in the presence of God and His presence being in us. Let me ask you something. Have you ever been on a platform before the congregation in a large church filled to capacity? How much joy did you see? Sadly, I have not seen very much. Why? Because the people have not been in the presence of God. They have been in the presence of their families, their friends, their tv, their movies, their sports, their lusts, thier...thier...their. They do not take time for God. John 14:12 Jesus said that we would do the works that He did. Beloved, it is impossible to be like Jesus and not take time to be with God. No matter how "busy" Jesus got, there was always that "being alone with the Father" in His ministry. It was His life source and His power source. Ever been curious about what happened to the power? I have. To benefit from the power, you have to be in the presence of it. Selah. Beloved, cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you. How much? Rent "The Passion of the Christ". When it is finished, tell yourself, "that much". Then remind yourself, "It is finished". Don't rely on your on understanding. That is deadly. Rely on what God promised, that He so loved you and I, that He gave His only begotten Son, and that anyone who would place all their eternal hope in His finished work and sacrafice would not perish, but have eternal life. It is this life, and only this life that brings forth fruit of the Spirit. It is this life that brings forth the power of God. Why? Because it is a life of faith. Not faith in ourselves, but Faith in our God Who has promised, and simply cannot do anything but save those Who trust in what He has already done. Jesus told the pharasees, "this is your sin, that you do not believe on Him Whom He sent". Don't let that be your sin, beloved. May the righteousness of Christ, the peace that comes from Hope in Him, and the joy of knowing that we are His dwelling place and He is always with us...I said He is always with us...warts and all, never to forsake us...that joy, abound in your lives through resting your eternal hope in Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. Glory be to God, now and forever more.Happy Father's day to all the dads,Lahry