A question on the discipline of the Lord in the life of believers

Hey guys, I have a question about the lords discipline in the believers life based off of what I have been experiencing. Last fall i began to ask the Lord if he wanted me to leave my current church for another fellowship. It seemed like he was showing me to stay put, but I really loved the fellowship and the love at this small church. So I began to try to go anyways. It then seemed then that I began to be attacked by evil spirits and my hedge of protection had left me. But, I began to say to myself why would God do that to me for wanting to be apart of another fellowship so I have continued pursuing it even till now and I am still constantly being attacked it seems every second. So today I decided to just let it go and stay where I'm at. Their are many other aspects to this, but does anyone agree to me coming to the conclusion this the lords discipline. I tried everything to cast down these attacks and resist them only for them to get worse and not go away.

Well ever since I adventures in trying to switch churches I would have either this really bad presence come over me which would either bring fear that I would be physically disciplined if I did, or I would actually feel my body get really weak. Like i remember I was going to let my pastor know of my intent of switching churches and I remember this terrible presence came over me similar to what I had in 2012 when I was going through a terrible trial for over a year their. I started going to church regularly and having daily devotions in prayer and in the word and the church was praying for me and I began to heal and I was doing a whole lot better. Then I began to struggle a little again in 2015 with physical attacks on my body but nothing like this past year. I been either getting these constant fear and thoughts that if I switched churches that I was going to go paralysed or that my mind was going to be taken over. I thought to myself that this doesn't sound like from the Lord so I began to resist it and try to walk in the truth that this was lie and that god doesn't speak to you like that. I would find some relief for a few days at the most and then the attacks would start up really bad again and I would try reject them and when I would gain some ground on them i would get attacked in my mind or it seemed something else would go wrong like my wife fighting with me or I would get a flat tire. It just wouldn't go away, it was constant something. Then when I also gained some strength by standing my ground during the day and I thought I was getting somewhere with it, then I would get attacked by what I think we're evil spirits at night. They would try to paralyze my body or last week they were choking me. I would wake up and rebuke them and sometimes I would get peace, but othertimed it would keep happening. The one thing thAt made me think maybe this was not Lord discipline me was I would be fearful to go the other church or I would be attacked when I even thought about going, so I was like okay I don't think the Lord is like this, but because it keeps happening and won't go away and I have had numerous people praying for me including myself I have concluded that it was the Lord telling me to stay where I was at. Where I had been since 2012. The other church My Wife went with me yesterday too, but I was still getting attacked about it. But, brother I am little confused because I was really liking that one a lot. But at the same the one I had been at for five years the Lord has opened the door to reach the youth. I'm confused a little bit. Maybe their is some pride in my heart or selfishness that is making me like the one church over the other. When I look at the scripture I don't find this being wrong unless I am disobeying the Lord revealed will to me.

You know this morning I told myself either I am being disciplined by the Lord or their is some really strong spirit controlling me.

I think what I did from 2012 till now was that I was afraid my old problems would come back so I began to live my life like if I didn't do this I would displeased God and my old struggles would come back or if I sinned in would open the door to his discipline or being attacked by demonic spirits. So I began to live a life where I did everything right or what I thought was right like read my bible everyday, pray before I went into work, attend every bible study and church service, make sure my thoughts were in line with God's thoughts and if I thought a bad thought to instantly confess it and repent of it. I was afraid to say anything a lot of times or make judgements. To live in any discernment that could be considered prideful or judgemental. I ended up getting burned out and couldn't do it anymore. So I began to try to break free from what I thought were lies and been trying to live in freedom. The thing is in regards the church I was going to if I tried to make any judgements or discernment I would get attacked and the same thing is happening when I thought about leaving or just attending another I would here thoughts like your going to be disciplined or go paralysed if you do that and I began to believe it. Then I also realized this isn't the truth and I feel worse when I believe like that, so I have been fighting and trying to not believe any voice that says your going to be punished. Problem is that I will walk in that for a few days and then this presence will come over me. A strong presence that will get me to fear extremely bad and make think I did something wrong and will be so powerful in convincing me that I am going to be disciplined I end up giving into it. It's so hard for me to know if it's from the Lord or not. I would say the other would definitely get me on God's word and prayer more as a church to a certain extent, but both churches are big in the word and prayer. I guess I enjoy it more and I love the fellowship their. My attitude has been kind of bad though towards the other church, so i believe I have been a little prideful. You add my confusion in hearing God's voice and that together it just makes it harder.

Hey guys right now no drug history or medication unless you consider coffee one. I do take vitamins and they helped a minimum with this. Eating better and exercising also but it hasn't done much because this is I believe a spiritual struggle. In the past I have sought out deliverancevministers and has people pay hands on me which I regret, but I have confessed and repented of doing much of that. Even though I have been seeking for wisdom and prayer for this torment I have been going through. Yes, I think your right my faith is a little shaky and I am not able to discern God's voice clearly because I am hearing a lot of stuff. The book of Colossians has been helping me see the cross clearly and understanding what was done for me 2000 years ago.to see Christ and bring complete in him and his he is the answer nothing else. In regards to my church decision. I really thought the Lord was showing me to stay, but it was when I would actually think about going to a Thursday night bible study at the other church I would get the oppressive attacks and a voice that basically telling me you better not go or the Lord will discipline me. So I kind of said wait one second maybe it wasn't from the Lord, why would he keep me from going to a fellowship that has got me closer to him in prayer and in the word. So I began to resist that but was unsure if it was from the Lord or not. So my seed of unbelief might be causing these attacks.

One of the issues I was having at the one church was that the messages were not seeming to edify me. Their seemed to be something wrong and then one day I was listening to television and rick warren was preaching and I realized it was the same message from my pastor almost verbatim. Well I looked into it and I found my pastor sometimes uses rick warren sermon outlines and he does say some of own stuff in the sermon but some of the quotes are right from rick warren. It is really strange because at the same time we are really big on the word and prayer. When I found that out I was afraid and angry but I was very disappointed because I wanted to make this church My home. I emailed my pastor about it and he was very gracious and admitted to using others material and was given permission to use the messages. I dont know what to do, part of me just wants to leave, but the other part of me says I was being used their by the Lord reaching out to the youth. It is frustrating, but I have hard time sitting their knowing these messages are not original and from rick warren. What does the lord want me to do.

Hey brother thank you. I have listened to him a little and also read a book by him tearing down strongholds. He is pretty good. I also read chip ingram invisible war.the problem with me is believing., their is a seed of doubt and I am believing wrongs things about God and his nature. A lot of things I read and hear but it goes right through me many times. I don't mean too but it seems I listen to my feelings and emotions more than what is his in his word. I try not to but it I am very weak at times. It is like a war going in my mind to believe the truth but their is another force Satan bringing all of his schemes to keep me from walking in victory. I believe the Lord will deliver me brother I do. Thank you for your and everyone's encouragement.

Also I have a lot of fear and anxiety

Thanks brother for your wisdom. The Lord answered a prayer of mine. My wife rarely attends church with me and anyways she went to the one fellowship I really enjoy last week and then this week I planned on going back to my usual church and then my wife wanted to go again to the church we went to last week. My wife is either not saved or fully committed. But my prayer was that the Lord the only way I would go to the church was if my wife went otherwise I was going to stay put. My wife told me she wants to regularly attend now. Isn't that crazy how the Lord answered that.

That happened today

Today is has been a little better but it was still hard at first. But, my wife told me she plans on coming with me every week, praise God. We have been married ten years and this has never came out of her mouth. Their are some their who have been praying daily for her their. This woman who befriended told her that. Wow praise god.i am happy my prayer was answered.