My Own Repentance

I care little for theological debates- they annoy me and stir up dissent.I say that knowing I stirred up a mite of dust with my last thread.I DID need hope, and my heart was hungry. I could not live with a hardened heart anymore. I thank God for His power and truth in being relayed to my desperate soul.I MUST APOLOGIZE FOR MY LANGUAGE, it was out of desperation/ open rebellion I used that filth.Friday I told the love of my life I didn't know what to think about God. This disappointed her greatly, as she has a HUGE heart for Jehovah. I tried defending my views, though of the wall and quite thoughtless.She saw through that. A year ago today I was on fire- no cursing/secular media, ETC. I loved God. Somewhere I quit. Somehow I just lost hope, lost faith, and became cold and crippled. I wasted into spiritual cess. It has been like that for 10 months. 10 months of self imposed darkness.Since last August I have been up and down, back and forth, in and out, but mostly down, forth, and out. I have not had stability. I begged God for that, along with purity, honesty, integrity, holiness, and obedience. I don't want to, nor have I ever wanted to, limbo between darkness and everlasting Light- I honestly simply wanted truth. Soon that became a front for being "liberal" but that possesses the same evil as legalism, only on opposite ends. I have an extensive list of Christian music, my favorites being Marty Sampson of Hillsongs and Jeremy Camp. For the first time in a long time, I loved it. I used to love it, but I stopped. I tried loving it again many times before, but I couldn't. A heart for God CANNOT be forced from the outside. I tried.Somehow, I took Tool out of my CD player and put in Jeremy Camp, and listened intently, hungrily, eagerly.I listened to "Right Here" and felt warmth, sensed light. I want to be of Christ. of God. I have always felt "cut from a different cloth" so to speak. Prayer now can clarify that.I love God now, with all I am.

Praise God for His moving in your life!Just remember, none of us in our own natural ability (in our "flesh") has a desire to follow God , love God , or obey Him. Only thru the Spirit of Truth that comes upon us when we submit to Him DAILY (Romans 12:2)can we go forth.I pray that God richly blesses you today and everyday. Coming to the realization that you came to is awesome. God calls each of us to come to a "realization";then, afterward, to take action upon that realization!

I need to repent more !!!

I need to repent more !!!Dominic, I've been reading some of your posts here on SI and a little bit on your blog. Brother, I would like to encourage you and I say this with an honest heart:I don't think you need more repentance but redemption. Knowing that Christ has set you free. Realizing that He made the perfect atonement on the Cross and that He has provided all we need to live a life of devotion and holiness...Don't seek perfection, seek the Lord Jesus...and let Him change you. Colossians 2:16-3:4 comes to mind.Furthermore...the Lord Jesus is teaching me to be more reckless in obedience to Him. From the small things to the very important things of life. You can read my thoughts on this in my last post on my blog here: www.xanga.com/dezcallI hope this will help you in walking this narrow path, together with Jesus.In Him,Paul

I don't think you need more repentance but redemption. This comment has taken on new meaning to me over the last while. Often we are still trying to justify ourselves in our efforts to repent - when we really need to give up trying to improve the old nature, and surrender to Christ. I must add that I believe salvation IS repentance, the turning from the old - and having a brand new life. I've been reading Pilgrim's Progress, and in it I am reminded that Salvation is nothing like many of us have been taught. It is a journey through suffering and trials, not a quick trip up the isle. Praise God for discomfort, disatisfation, misery.. those negative experiences keep us from getting complacent in our mediocre, and even our lost condition. I think that Paris Reidhead says it a lot better than me. Here is one of his sermons. He has many more that relate to salvation, repentance, grace etc. You may very well find that they lead you on the right path. So Great a Salvation by Paris ReidheadYou may appreciate this powerful message by Ray Comfort - also dealing with salvation - He points out that many are not saved when they think they are. (I was one of them, so I can relate)Hell's Best Kept SecretDiane