Advice from anybody who has conquered sexual sin

Hello again users of sermonindex. Ever since I decided to follow Christ, I have dealt with a certain sin that besets me, pornography and ((what goes along with it)). The longest I've ever been without this sin was about 3 months, even then, though, I peeked and looked at porn. It's hard for me to even go a week without it now, it drives me insane, every time I do it, I feel my conscience getting more and more distant, my thoughts become more and more ridiculous. I do not know how many more times God is willing to forgive me, I have become a grace abuser. Today, I really want to stop, I want this thing out of my life once and for all. I just pray that God does not reject me, or cast me out. Any advice from anyone and what they did to overcome sexual sin and temptation?

by seagullterror9
I do not know how many more times God is willing to forgive me, I have become a grace abuser.

For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again... Proverbs 24:16

Now, having said all that, does God want you to overcome pornography? Yes He definitely does and "I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

Your faith is in God not your abilities, remember that your battle is not a physical one but a spiritual one. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places..." Ephesians 6:12.

God bless you,
Lisa

PS: Brothers might want to write to you to encourage you if you had an email posted. God bless.

I am not a one who has conquered sexual sins. In my life the Lord took away certain sexual sins when I was born again. Certain sins I had to battle as well to find the victory that I have. I am still in my early 30s, so I cannot boast as a conquered person.

Regarding sexual sins, they start with the heart. One cannot battle directly with Pornography. One has to battle with lust that forms in his heart. Pornography is an expression of the lust that we entertain in hour heart. Keep your eyes pure by turning away from any form of immorality that you see around you. Either from internet or advertisements etc. These things no matter how small they are they easily corrupt your heart. If the heart is constantly kept pure then it is easy to control the action.

The problem with most of the men who battle Pornography is, they battle the action of watching it, instead of battling to keep their heart pure. That is why we are defeated easily. Once we take the battle to a different ground then victory will flow. God is with us for this battle.

Tim Convey, whom Greg has suggested is a very good preacher who is bold against sexual sins.

Also there is no reason to count how much longer we have been without committing a sin. It has never profited me! Like Apostle Paul says, we are called to put behind everything including our victory and fall, and Press on everyday to fight the battle.

A lot of these temptations are to do with the emotional level in which we operate in our sub conscious minds. You will have to follow the Lord who doesn't operate on this level and not leave or back off from demanding we give this up. And wants us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. He will probably ask you to leave people behind... Christians who will try to interfere with your determination in the denial of your old self.

But when we have overcome we enter into a much closer walk with Christ as Revelation 3 tells us. That I may sup with him and he with me.

Ive experienced the darkness of living in sexual fantasy and also the walking away to be closer to Christ.

email me if you feel it's right to do so.

"I really want to stop, I want this thing out of my life once and for all. I just pray that God does not reject me, or cast me out. Any advice from anyone and what they did to overcome sexual sin and temptation?"

Brother, I believe that you do want to be set free from this sin, and there is both forgiveness and deliverance through the blood of the Lamb.

The power that will deliver you is not in seeking many methods or trying a little harder, or making a stronger commitment to stop this sin.

You have to come to the point that you forsake all hope in overcoming this sin through natural means and methods, and cry out to God: "O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death?" God wants to open your eyes to see that Jesus will deliver you and set you free.

The blood of Jesus will cleanse you from your sin. The cross is the answer. Stand on the basis of your death with Christ. You must know that your old self was crucified with Him. (Romans 6:6). You must know that sin shall not have dominion over you. (Romans 6:14). It is a fact that you are dead to sin, so believe and claim the promise of God. Because you are dead to sin, you no longer have to continue to yield your eyes to sin. Yield yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)

You will have to take control of your thought life by casting down those unclean imaginations, pulling down the strongholds of the devil, and this may take allowing brothers to pray with you that are strong in the Lord and have overcome in this area. Give no place to the devil in
your thought life. When you find your mind drifting and entertaining these unclean images, immediately confess it and avail yourself of the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus.

Ask God to create in you a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within you. (Psalm 51:10.)

"Let the redeemed of the Lord say so." You have been redeemed, and there is no condemnation to those that are in Christ. (Psalm 107:2), (Romans 8:1).

You don't have to sin. You are dead to sin. Abide in Christ, for he that abides in Him will not sin. (1 John 3:6).

"Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh." (Galatians 5:16).

Set your mind on Jesus and those things that are true and pure. Keep your eyes on Jesus.

There is freedom for you brother. You don't have to sin, but if you slip, be quit to repent. Don't run to the computer, but run to Jesus. He is merciful and gracious, and where sin does abound, God's grace does much more abound. (Romans 5:20).

Hey Key, I too have struggled with this sin in the past and the Lord has given me the victory over it. God can use different types of exhortations and encouragements derived from His Word to help us gain the victory in this area so I’ll offer a few that come to mind (I like all the exhortations and encouragements others have already shared here as well).

The first thing I’d encourage you to consider is that our Lord will not deliver you from this sin without you doing your part. While it is true that you can only gain the victory in His strength, there is a roll you play in terms of putting to death the deeds of the flesh. This is one such exhortation in God’s Word:

"Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, 7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them. 8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him”-Colossians 3:5-10

I love how Matthew Henry reconciles God’s power to deliver us from the bondage of sin with our responsibility to do our part. In reference to Proverbs 1:23 which says, "Turn at my rebuke; surely I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you,” Henry writes,

set yourselves to do what you can, and the grace of God shall set in with you, and work in you both to will and to do that good which, without that grace, you could not do." Help thyself, and God will help thee; stretch forth thy withered hand, and Christ will strengthen and heal it. [1.] The author of this grace is the Spirit, and that is promised: I will pour out my Spirit unto you, as oil, as water; you shall have the Spirit in abundance, rivers of living water, Jn. 7:38. Our heavenly Father will give the Holy Spirit to those that ask him.

In reference to the man with the withered hand whom Christ healed (Matt. 12) Henry writes,

God's commands to us to do the duty which of ourselves we are not able to do are no more absurd or unjust, than this command to the man with the withered hand, to stretch it forth; for with the command, there is a promise of grace which is given by the word...Those who perish are as inexcusable as this man would have been, if he had not attempted to stretch forth his hand, and so had not been healed.

In reference to the crippled man in John 5 Henry writes,

He must rise and walk, that is, attempt to do it, and in the essay he should receive strength to do it…. if he had not attempted to help himself, he had not been cured, and he must have borne the blame; yet it does not therefore follow that, when he did rise and walk, it was by his own strength; no, it was by the power of Christ, and he must have all the glory

I would also encourage you to consider that God wants to use your life as a powerful witness to those around you (Acts 1:8), but He cannot use you in that way as long as you are messing around with pornography. It ruins your testimony and puts His name into an open shame.

I’ll be praying for you Key. God bless.

Thank you all for responding to my thread. I really appreciate it!

One single quote from the late David Wilkerson helped me to gain victory in this area.

He said, "you struggle with lust because you actually love it."

As for me, the moment I confessed that it was ME who loved it and I had been lying to God and myself, my bonds fell off at once and I was free. I had blamed God that this sin controlled me, but it was my actually my own hypocrisy and pretense that held me back from deliverance.

Feeling guilty and remorseful alone does not equate repentance. Before my breakthrough,if I am brutally honest, I only hated the guilt and shame but not the pleasure of the sin.

I am not saying that I never struggled afterwards in my thought live but I had a major breakthrough.

You see, God does not work against your unsurrendered will. Once you surrender your will, you get free.

I believe this applies to everybody. I personally do not believe the stories when people say they want to get free but just can't. The problem is never with God but always with you.

I know this may sound blunt, simplistic and harsh, but I thank God that through David Wilkersons insight I received deliverance. In my case, it worked!

by narrowpath
As for me, the moment I confessed that it was ME who loved it and I had been lying to God and myself, my bonds fell off at once and I was free. I had blamed God that this sin controlled me, but it was my actually my own hypocrisy and pretense that held me back from deliverance.

Then I had a dream and in it, it was around 3:00 am and the phone rang and I had to walk through a dark house to get to it but there was light trying to get in from every window (kind of like the FBI shining their huge spot lights on the house). I answered the phone and a voice said strongly, "You're not moving what you're supposed to moving." I asked, "Who is this?" He said, "An angel in the night." I asked stupidly, "What am I supposed to be moving?" He said, "You know exactly what you're supposed to be moving. I must go, I have more calls to make." And click.

And I woke up and I knew. Then in the next couple of days I listened to a woman's prayer meeting tape and in it the woman quoted Job 31:1 in a different way, ""I made a covenant with my eyes not to look at the things I used to look at."

I went home and looked up eyes and found Job 31:1 and then in Rev 3:18, "... anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see." I still wanted to blame my husband but the Lord showed me it was ME and my enjoyment (that so offended me), and I had to repent for lying to Him as well and it ended up being me o Lord standing in the need of prayer, not anyone else, just me.

My eyes were anointed with my tears and wesson oil (all I had) and I made a covenant with my eyes not to look at the things I used to look at. When I got up off my knees, I never the same. Narrowpath submitted a lot easier than I did, I was denying it to the end but God still had mercy on me and showed me it was me. It's good to know that honesty is always the best policy, even with the Lord!!!

God bless you,
Lisa

Bless you, Lysa! Mind you I struggled - actually stubbornly resisted - for a quarter of a century.

Holy Cow, we ought to be praying for the men who come to this website. Over 750 views and only a handful of men even have a word to say on a subject that touches every man every day? Seriously?
Key...Take it from a guy who knows what you're going through and how it makes you feel.
Answers. Be open out it.
Be quick to repent,
Be deadly serious about not allowing yourself the liberty to see things or talk about things of a sexual nature that others can freely look at or talk about. I cannot even look at anything sexually suggestive. I am wired for lusting, my old nature loves it. I know this, I openly confess this and my answer is always and only, walk in the Spirit, walk in dedication to forsaking anything that brings me to temptation or lustful thoughts.
Be clear and decided upon one very important thing. This sin will kill you. It will kill your dreams, your love for the lost, the desire for spiritual things and it will fill you with shame, regrets, pains, attacks of unworthiness.
Victory is never found in self-beat downs for your failures or loathing your self because your sinful nature loves to lust. I tried all that...let me assure it none of this will even for a slight moment derail your train of coveting pornographic pictures or movies. What does is knowing the Love of God toward you, the fact that you are holy unto God as you are, as you stand this moment, as you have what faith and what knowledge and what love you have in Christ...just you...are accepted and you, you can find joy and pleasure in life without this corruption of mind and heart. Take it a day at a time, love your daily obedience, love your daily growing and enjoy the truth that you are a new creation in Christ made for daily and hourly moment by moment usefulness unto God.

Thanks to everyone again, I really do appreciate all of it. I've been meditating on many things you've all said here and will continue to do so.

Marvin, thanks for being honest, I really can relate to you. It makes me hopeful that someone has been in almost the EXACT state that i've been in. Yet, has been successful. Godbless you.

Godbless you all! Thanks again everyone! I hope this thread helps more people going through this!

Thanks to everyone again, I really do appreciate all of it. I've been meditating on many things you've all said here and will continue to do so.

Marvin, thanks for being honest, I really can relate to you. It makes me hopeful that someone has been in almost the EXACT state that i've been in. Yet, has been successful. Godbless you.

Godbless you all! Thanks again everyone! I hope this thread helps more people going through this!

Your welcome brother, if you have found any goodness to help you, know this for certain it is not I but Christ who encourages you and strengthens you. I am a recipient of grace, I am no source for either overcoming or wise counsel, all of it is from the Lord who is kind to us both.

Seagull,

When I was a very young, I was exposed to pornography and it gripped me. It was terrible. I won't even begin to describe someone of the wicked things I participated in because of that.

After becoming a believer, one of the things I HAD to do in order to begin removing those footholds was get rid of the internet. To this day, I do not have internet at my house--only in public. I have an iphone, but a friend of mine has locked out internet access and I found a cell plan that will allow me to have an iphone with no data access. For a long time, I didn't even have a smartphone. I am careful about where I take my ipad and only really take it anywhere that is public. If I spend the night at a buddy's house (yes, I am 30, but I still crash at friend's houses from time to time lol), my ipad goes in my truck. All those measures might seem extreme, but they are worth it to me because I really do not want to fall back into that sin. When I was in my late teens in college, I fell back into it and it was the worst time of my life, because the first time the Lord delivered me without asking Him to--the 2nd time was an intense struggle and not worth the fight, which I know you are familiar with.

Do I have lustful thoughts--sometimes, but day by day it is getting better. I haven't looked at pornography in a long time--and I don't say that pridefully--I don't wear it like a badge of honor, because I am expected NOT to fall into it.

You're going to have to change your lifestyle. Get rid of your computer. Do whatever it takes. Destroy your smart phone. Whatever it takes. You've got to allow yourself breathing room to submit to the Lord.

Lot of very good answer here. havok20x - really appreciate your answer man. Sexual sin is the only sin that Bible asks us to Flee from at 2 different places - 1 Cor 6-18- Flee immorality....
2 Tim 2:22- Flee from youthful lust...

Rest all sins are asked to be conquered by resisting them.

As a man in his early 30s, I can relate to everything you have said.

Key,

I just wanted to check up on you. If you are interested, I can give you my phone number and we can chat about this. or you can view my profile and fin my email