Deathly afraid of leaving the faith

Hello again sermonindex 'fam'. The community here is really just amazing.

To start,

I know the promises in scripture where Jesus says "Nobody can pluck them from my hand." I just have this wrestling sometimes of "what if im not really even IN his hand?". "What if this is all an emotional high?" "What if I snap and give up one day?" "What if someone deceives me so well that I leave the faith?" How would I deal with fears like this? I'm 17 and one my life's longing is to lead people to Christ and to continue growing in him.

One factor that scares me most are the horror stories of those who seemed to run very well and be genuine holy-spirit filled (or atleast genuinely seeking God) Christians. Yet, they fall away, this happened to four friends of mine. They were running well, but they left for some reason. They forgot God.

In these 3 short years I've been seeking for God; I've went from being a nominal christian, to identifying as a messianic jew to identifying with a specific cult (Church of God) to identifying as a black Hebrew Israelite to identifying with ANOTHER CULT. Not to mention leaving God and going back to sin multiple times in-between. I believe now I have found the truth and have not changed identifications for over a year. These "changes" make me fearful of another one, deep down I feel I know im not ever going to leave. But I stil have these "wrestlings". Anyone ever been like this? Tips on overcoming this?

Whoa man! Sounds like quite the testimony.

I just want to make something clear, have you identified Christianity as the truth simply as a mental ascent to the truth, or have you repented and believed the Gospel? I am not casting you into doubt, but I want to make sure that the place you have arrived is not merely knowledge only.

Basically, have you come to know the Lord? If so, how?

I see what you're saying. No, i'm talking about repenting and believing the Gospel. Living it out, not creating a library in my mind. I first met Christ last year through a woman, she told me who Jesus really was (God in the flesh, it was August 2016). And ever since then, I've been settled. I am still in the process of sanctification, actually getting the word in my heart and letting God take over.

I'm currently trying to get over an addiction.

Key,

Please consider my humble attempt to help!

I don't have much to offer you, other than the assurance that God Himself must be your portion, and He will be your help.

Here's the best I can offer;

I'd strongly recommend that you read this;

THE DOUBTING BELIEVER by OBADIAH SEDGWICK

About the book;

"Am I really a Christian?” At one time or another, all believers encounter periods of doubt regarding the genuineness of their faith. In this book, Puritan pastor Obadiah Sedgwick explores the kinds of doubt that commonly arise in the context of true saving faith, gently guiding the reader through fourteen circumstances likely to produce uncertainty. Using the Bible as a road map, the author helps us navigate away from the rocky shoals of doubt into the safe harbor of assurance.

An excerpt from the book;

"It is well-known to Satan what a serviceable channel faith is for all of our traffic, either for our ship to launch out into duties, or for God’s ship to arrive unto us laden with mercies””and therefore there is no other grace that he assaults as much as he does our faith. If the foundation is weakened or shaken, it has a spreading influence throughout the whole building. A Christian’s faith cannot be wronged without the entire spiritual frame quickly becoming sensible of the wrong and loss."

"If you would make any part of your battle strong, then focus your attention upon anything that contributes to and maintains a spirit of unbelief. It is certainly true that the foundation of your doubts is original sin, but the great pillar that rests upon it is lingering unbelief. All of your staggering, reeling, questioning, and doubting comes directly from your unbelief. O weak believer, this is what prevents you from seeing Christ, the covenant, the promises, and your title! This is what distorts your judgment and misleads it with cunning arguments, so that you cannot discern the full truth of God’s promises, or see the prevailing reasons for persuading yourself that they belong to you."

"'O,’ says the humbled sinner who has a true sight of himself, ‘what a broken state of affairs this is! What an imperfect measure of holiness! My light is dim, and there is a sense of drudgery in all of my duties. My righteousness is defective and my faith is mixed with much unbelief. My prayers contain a great deal of coldness, irreverence, and distraction; and when I have mourned over my sins, I am grieved for not feeling more grief. Thus I hate myself, because I cannot otherwise hate my sins. How then can I stand before God, whose eyes are too pure to behold sin? Will the Lord accept such a person, who discharges his duties so poorly?'"

"You are in God’s divine favor, though you cannot feel it; and although your comfort lies in the feeling of it, yet your happiness is in the being of it. You are saved because God loves you, not because you perceive that love."

You may order a copy here:

http://www.heritagebooks.org/products/the-doubting-believer-sedgewick.html

There are also other books on this topic at the link.

Thanks Savannah! I will look into that book in due time. I really appreciate your comment! Amen! (I need to get money..)

Key,
May I humbly offer you this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVyJj993YsU&feature=share

* Christ in You,The Hope of Glory"
Major Ian Thomas

And, may I say, surrender / abandon everything for the sake of Christ.

2Tim.2:15,
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Filled with The Spirit of God,....Who will teach you,and lead /guide you.

Much Grace be to you,
---------------🙏
elizabeth

Mat 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I'd like to recommend to you the Gospel of Jesus Christ (Matthew, Mark, Luke, & John) and that you take God's Word to heart and meditate on Him. When I got Saved the Holy Spirit didn't allow me to read anything other than the Word. This went on for years (at least 5+). I was instructed by the Holy Spirit to look at Jesus from different angles like what was Jesus' emotional life? What was His relationship with women? Who were the Pharisees and why was Jesus so upset with them? It was one question after another concerning Jesus and it was exciting learning Him and it still is! God wanted me to know His voice because there are so many other competing voices out there to try and turn us away. In the Gospel of John the 10th chapter, Jesus talks about being the Good Shepherd and how His sheep know His voice. We know His voice through His Word.

So I want to encourage you to just keep things simple and learn Jesus because once you know what He said, you'll also know what He didn't say. The more you know Christ in understanding through the Holy Spirit, the fear you feel will be replaced with faith but you have to take the time to read His Word and allow the Holy Spirit to apply it to your life.

Also if you're able to talk with the woman who shared Christ with you, go back to her and ask her if she knows of anyone who can disciple you and/or be a prayer partner with you. I pray you the best. Stay in the simplicity of Christ and His Word. Don't forget you can tell the Lord anything. He's right there :)

Seagull,

Okay, so you have come to know the Lord, and that is GREAT! Are you currently fellowshipping with other believers at a local assembly? Do you have brothers in Christ on whom who lean (notice I didn't say on whom you CAN lean, but on whom you DO lean) very much that you can physically see and talk to and confide in on a regular basis? Are these men mature, level-headed followers of Jesus?

Dear Key,

I think the Key to your dilemma lies in your words here,

"I'm currently trying to get over an addiction."

You do not have a clear conscience!

It's sort of like the doctor telling you they've noticed some foreign substance in the x-rays they took. And you've got an appointment in two weeks. They will tell you their findings and give you a diagnosis then. You are waiting for that day, but with mixed emotions, not knowing what they may tell you.

But you must heed Jesus' words and perform the operation yourself. Cut off your hand, and pluck out your eye! Because sin is like leprosy, before long it will consume your whole body, and your life's breath.

I just spoke to a dear brother yesterday, a father of 10 children. He told me that his dear son of 25 is incarcerated. He was just placed in isolation this week for a six month period. This young man was brought up in the faith. He was instrumental in bringing others to the faith. He was quite the evangelist. But he yielded to a sin one day. That one day turned into an addiction. He is now where he is, never for one moment thinking he'd ever end up there. He's hardened, angry and miserable. This dear father is crying out for his son, has been for 3+ years. With no signs of remorse.

Sin is deceitful. It always takes you farther then you ever thought you'd go. Makes you stay longer than you'd ever thought you'd stay. And makes you pay more than you'd ever want to pay.

I plead with you to repent of any and all sin, and heed the counsel of some of the other posters in this thread.

May God be merciful to you Key!

Peace will return to you, when you return to the Prince of Peace!

Key, we all have struggles. I've had all kinds of addictions, including drugs, cigarettes, food and pornography. I'm free now by the grace of God. Jesus loves you even in the midst of your temptation, He even loves you if you fail Him. Just praise Him and let Him fight your battles. And don't let anyone condemn you.

Key,
Here is something by Major Ian Thomas,....
Of the true Life of God, that comes out of a death.

'A Grain of Wheat- Major Ian Thomas 1/5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIM-KS3sfhk&feature=share

--------------🙏
elizabeth

Key,

Song:

"Eagles Wings,"....for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNiJZIs_tgk&feature=share

--------------
elizabeth