Gethsemane: Please Help

On Tuesday I visited with a friend of mine who had recently returned from a 9 month program travelling Canada, and I knew that he was not doing well in his faith because of the trip. As it turned out, another friend of mine was going to be with us, who was also a Christian.Well, my convictions were true, and my friend was in bad shape, doubting God, doubting the Word of God, doubting Christ. Immediately, once the conversation started, the other friend that was with me switched sides and it became a two-against-one battle that I had not intended. Although the battle was intense, long, and draining, it didn't perfect but it ended with some hope.But what happened the next morning was extreme warfare in my Spirit... I was to speak that evening at a service and all of a sudden I felt this awful spirit of unbelief creep up on me. I knew it was from Satan, trying to sift my faith, which is more precious than gold. Friends, it was the worst time of my life, the most horrible feeling in my innermost parts, deep sorrow, and terrible thoughts of shipwrecking my faith and in doing so, ruining others. Oh, it was awful.I prayed and cried and cried and prayed. I felt it was a personal Gethsemane.That evening, before I was to give the message, we were singing a song and the Spirit must've come upon me for I began to weep and weep so hard as I stood there. I got up and gave the message, which I thank God, for His Holy Spirit was with me and it was mighty in power. There were non-believers and believers there.Well, today, as I worked, this battle waged war in my members, and I found myself fighting for my life, my faith. I was singing, shouting, praying, crying, desperate for God to save me from this awful sifting.Work just ended, and I'm on the computer asking for my brothers and sisters here to pray for me that I would gain the victory, that my faith would not fail, and that Satan would not prevail against me, for "greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!"Pray for me, please, I know the Lord is opening up doors for me to preach more and more, and the events of this year have been powerful for the Kingdom of God... I know Satan hates me, and wants to ruin me. I know he doesn't want me to preach. Christians, please pray for me and help me gain the victory, that out of this my faith would be tried and come out as pure gold, stronger than before. This is the worst time of my life, and I never expected it to ever be on account of my faith.Brother in Christ,-Eli

Eli...Have but little strength, will take this all with me to sleep and again into the morning. I know brother, just hang on and keep praying.

Eli, can I suggest an encouraging sermon for you. It is titled "The Lord will fight for you" by David Wilkerson.

Brothers and sisters, let me update you on the situation.First of all, thank you for all the support and please keep me in your prayers until I overcome this completely!Interestingly enough, at about 10:30-11:00 the Lord greatly encouraged me in the faith as I was reading Ephesians 6, the armor of God. I felt the fight come back into me and my faith was renewed! Praise God for all the prayers, and please continue to pray, for the battle is not over, but yesterday I was strengthened greatly to fight."For our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the power and principalities in heavenly places."The God of peace will soon crush Satan under my feet, and I love this verse: " The Lord said to my Lord, 'Sit at my right hand until I make Your enemies to be a footstool for You.'" And that's just what it is. Satan is just a footstool for Jesus and Jesus is in me, so 'greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world'!This has been and is the most bitter time of my life, my faith is being sifted, but I trust God is going to take me through to the end, and I will be stronger than before, like gold refined by fire. Praise the Lord, help me Lord.I'll update again soon, thank you SI and please keep interceding for me. Faith is the victory!In Christ,-Eli

This morning, first thoughts came straight away brother, along with this verse:Jud 1:21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. Restrospectively, Nicky Cruz recognised his severe temptation the night before preaching began, as a last ditch attempt by the enemy, to undermine his own testimony and make ministry impossible or at best, weak and ineffective.Well noted and well said. Unsure why the verse earlier, but perhaps some commentary:Jud 1:21 - Keep yourselves in the love of God,.... By which may be meant either the grace and favour of God, that love with which God loves his people; and then the exhortation to the saints to keep themselves in it is, to set it always before them, to keep it constantly in view, to exercise faith on it, firmly believing their interest in it; as also to meditate on it, give themselves up wholly to the contemplation of it, and employ their thoughts constantly about it, which is the foundation of all grace here, and glory hereafter; or to preserve themselves by it, for so the words may be rendered, "preserve yourselves by the love of God"; against Satan's temptations, the snares of the world, and the lusts of the flesh; whenever Satan solicits to sin, and any snare is laid to draw into it, and the flesh attempts to be predominant, saints should betake themselves to the love of God, as to a strong hold and preservative against sin, and reason as Joseph did, Gen_39:9, for the love of God, and continuance in it, do not depend on anything that can be done by men; nor is there any danger of real believers falling from it, or losing it, since it is unchangeable, and is from everlasting to everlasting; or else by the love of God we are to understand that love with which his people love him and of which he is the object, Luk_11:42; and then the meaning of the exhortation is, that though this grace of love cannot be lost, yet, inasmuch as the fervour of it may be abated, and the people of God grow cold and indifferent in their expressions of it, it becomes them to make use of all proper means to maintain and increase it in themselves and others; such as are mentioned in the context, as conversing together in an edifying way about the doctrines of the Gospel, and praying either separately or together, under the influences of the Holy Spirit, and looking forward for the grace and mercy of Christ unto everlasting life; all which, with many other, things, by the blessing of God, may serve to maintain and revive the grace of love, and blow it up into a flame: though perhaps this phrase may chiefly design that love, peace, and concord, which ought to subsist among saints as brethren, and which they should be careful to preserve; and may be called the love of God, just as the same thing is styled the peace of God, Col_3:15, because it is what God requires, what he calls unto, which is of him, and is taught by him in regeneration, and what his, love engages to, and without which there is no true love to him; and he takes, love shown to his people as if shown to himself; and this sense is favoured by the context, both by the words in the preceding verse, and in the following ones: looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. The mercy of Christ may be considered either as past, which was shown in eternity, in his covenant transactions with his Father, in engaging in the cause of his people, in espousing them to himself, and in the care of their persons, grace, and glory; and in time, in assuming their nature, in his tender concern for the bodies and souls of men, in bearing the sins and sorrows of his people, in the redemption of them, and in their regeneration and calling; and there is the present mercy of Christ, in interceding for his people, in sympathizing with them under all their afflictions, in succouring them under all their temptations, in suiting himself, as the great Shepherd, to all the circumstances of his flock; and there is the future mercy of Christ, which will be shown at death, in the grave, and at the resurrection, at the day of judgment, and in the merciful sentence he will pronounce on his people; and this seems to be designed here; the consequent of which, or what is annexed to it, and in which it issues, is eternal life; which is not owing to the works of men, but to the grace of God, and mercy of Christ; eternal life is in him, and is given through him, and to his mercy should men look for it. Christ himself is to be looked for, who will certainly come a second time; and eternal life is to be looked for by him; and this is only to be expected through his grace and mercy; and this is to be looked for by faith, in the love of it, with delight and pleasure, and cheerfulness, with eagerness, and yet with patience.John Gill

God is the power of all manner of things and although power on earth was given to the Devil and his worker spiritsI have learnt…… God ‘IS’ the power over all things. He requires us to look to him in prayers and scripture, Praising him, Praising Jesus, Worshiping their Holiness. Glorifying them, and singing songs and speaking of all manner of godliness etc. The Enemy Flees when we do these things he cannot stay in the presence of worship Etc.Acknowledging in prayer how Great they are. Look to him for prayers, he would have you say for your protection.He gave me psalm 37 all those years ago. It’s quite a tough psalm but it does show the power he has, over all the earth and all that is in it.It says in scripture that Jesus trusted no one for he knew what was in them. Trust in him.. Do you know God would put a song on my heart each day, for over a long period of time sometimes? Depending what was happening. When I was under par, in need of uplifting, in danger, I found it quite amazing that he should take such an interest in me. This is why I know I am, loved by him. I found in not just my illness but in my life situation, I was in a position of not being able to trust some people and strangers.This was because of the damage that a person did to me through mental abuse.So I had to rely on God in that situation because it was only he who could see the truth of what was happening.In it I have grown deeper toward my Father God! Standing on the rock and for a long time knowing of bad things coming against me, but pushing through with the Lord our God and standing in the spirit.I have been frightened some times in the company of non Christians but it gets less as time goes on. And as time goes on and we grow to be Gods child, living and talking with him. I was so frightened about something some time ago, that I told an elder at our church, God gave her Chapter and verse to give to me she read it out and said, “I don't know why he has given me this to tell you”.It puzzled her, if she had taken seriously what I was saying she would not have been puzzled. She does love me and through many years has prayed for me and did come to realise that I did have reason to be worried at times and many other people have. Prayed for me also.I knew why he gave that piece of scripture but I did not explain. You see God knew that my need was real, that I had reason for my fear. People found it difficult to believe some of my fears. God Knew!And this is what he gave to me. Jeremiah Ch.2 V.55. For I,' says the Lord, 'will be a wall of fire all around her, and I will be the glory in her midst.' "I have been reminded of this many times. And other things that he has given to me.When we are out doing Gods work there will be oppression and I believe it is becoming harder for us at times because things are changing in this world so rapidly, in ungodly behaviour. That things are more against us and that we have to be reall Grounded in Godly things, Like praising Etc.Prayer is the essence of all things. I believe that is what God is Saying to the Churches. Our Church has this year got a prayer centre, which is open each day to the members, for prayer requests, and prayer for our town etc. to pray for our minister and others particularly, Leaders etc. Just praying as God requires.’All’ the Churches get together once a month and pray for the Town etc.And it seems that we are praying for countries also, as well as our own country.For the last 19 years I have had! To lean on him in all the situations I have gone through. I have been up against a person, who told lies about my state of health and many other continual misdeeds, I have had to have the use of Psychiatry but get them to believe, I was not, as that person had told them.Of late it was also proven that a Tablet had made me extremely ill and no one had understood that it was ‘The Tablet.’ Yet I had been so ill for the last four years, yes that long and I would tell them that I could not remember what happened a minute ago and on exertion my breathing was bad and many other things. It was really bad but the sharpness in my brain was not there, I have the sharpness back now and I can see so much of what happened to me. It has also become apparent that I was misdiagnosed 4 years ago and that the Tablet that they took off me at the time of giving me this one, had in actual fact made me ill.!!!! (They have come to a conclusion I am very sensitive to their tablets).I have to have a lot of patience. (Actually I have written a small amount about it on healingwaters Post. “Doing Something Worthwhile, who me?”) But they did not want it to be the Tablet or Tablets. They just think your exaggerating. Brick walls, is what I have come up against where they are concerned. They now do not want to talk about itWhich is silly because they cannot tell me how well I am doing, without speaking to me. I do have other medication that has to be reduced and it is God again, whom I will have to rely on, for strength, perseverance, to come through any side effects while reducing the medication. In a sense I could liken it to a battle with the Enemy, trying to get at me while I experience side effects. But I will be Looking to God to help me through, shunning the thoughts that the enemy might choose to tell me. There is no point in him trying, I have learnt to look to God. Sometimes hard, Not always easy.I said to God a few weeks ago, that it was not fair, that I could not go into the Town with our Church and visitors from America. (I can see the Market Clock from my window and they were all near, that clock). I said to God that my physical state was not free to do things. God said to me that my body might not be free, but I have made your spirit free and so you are free I had a whole new realisation that I was free indeed. I was so happy, so thankful. I thanked him over and over, I laughed and laughed he often makes me laugh even when he corrects me about something. I told the Pastor at the Church what had happened, while they were in the Town with their Ministry and said it reached right over to my flat and God Gave a Revelation to me A lot of things had happened in lives and reports that came back while they had been Ministering in the town, that day and since…. I hope this might be of comfort and encouragement to you, I will pray for you. I am actually in the process of listing names and to regularly lift them, before Gods Throne, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit Amen, hallelujah, praise you Lord most high for eli_Barnabas. LORD may you build your rock together with him, for ever!God, that you would encompass his being, with your mighty shield, his family also. That you would increase his knowledge of your Greatness in his heart and mind. That Holy Spirit you would search the deeper things of God for him and reveal these to his spirit. May the anointing of the Holy Spirit pour out upon you. May God use you, ‘a willing vessel’ Amen.

I just wanted to let everyone know I am doing much better, but I ask for your prayers a little bit longer! God has been good to me, teaching me many things in this time. The struggle is not yet over, but just to encourage those who have been praying, I am doing much much better. Praise God!-Eli

Friends,Last Sunday I ministered at a local Baptist Church here in Fredericton and the power of God came heavily, the Spirit quickened the congregation's hearts and the Lord truly visited us that morning.But for some reason, my dear friends here at SI, my faith is being tested, tried, I'm again struggling to hang on to my faith and this is becoming very difficult. All I want is Jesus, to rest in the hope and truth of His Word, but I'm having a hard time doing this.It seems like doors for ministry are opening up for me and the Spirit is upon me to minister but then I find myself battling with my faith! I don't want to struggle like this, ministering the Word with power then fighting the very truths I know so well.Please pray for me, please pray, saints, for my faith. I want Jesus to draw near, stay, let His peace rule in my heart. That the devil would flee, that my hope would be firmly established on the Rock of Christ, unmovable... like it has always been to me until these recent days.Help me Jesus!-Eli