Counseling through Cancer

I want to take this opportunity to ask everyone for advice on this matter.

My mother n law has stage 4 cancer. Lung tumor and it has spread to the lymph nodes, a rib, back of hip and in the leg. It seems her biggest pain is in her back from the rib lesion. She is on hydrocodone at the moment to stop her cough and stop the pain her in hip BUT it isn't stopping the back pain. I don't know if she is high tolerance or low tolerance for pain.

She is somewhat scheduled to go back to the Philippines in January but this all depends upon seeing another oncology doctor and what they want to do. She doesn't want chemo.

What I am doing right now is getting her focused upon God. She is Catholic but I don't think knows much about the bible. She hates reading. She is very visual and watch Filipino soap operas, news, and variety shows all the time. I put a bible app on her tablet that has both English and Tagalog words in it but it is also audio. Just before she left here she turned off what she normally watch and began listening to this.

I exhorted her to begin reaching out in faith and putting her trust in Jesus during these days because they may be painful but trusting in the audio Word that she hears will help walk her through this dark days.

I will be seeing her one last time in January providing she is still doing well. She is living with her oldest daughter in another state.

What kind of things would you say to someone who is 70 with stage 4 cancer to comfort them?

John

John:

Your mother in law is deluded. With grace and tenderness, kindness and directness she needs to hear from you how she has not made it right with Jesus.

what shall she give in exchange for her soul?

Her soul will be required of her on judgment day and she is going to face the judge in a very short time. This short time frame means the time for stuttered references to Jesus Lordship needs to end. This time requires you to pray God opens her eyes that she might comprehend the gospel truth.
You know as well as I do the delusion consists of her state of affairs is supposedly good by reason of a life-time offering of dead works to God and not a heart of love.

You may think me presumptuous, but what is more important is exposing presumption and her dangerous situation and her immanent entrance into the eternal state.

This is not a time to comfort, this is a time to deal with the reality of spiritual truth. Comfort will come when the Spirit of God indwells. Do not allow yourself or her to be seduced by the traditions of "comforting the dying" when she is very quickly going to face the stark and horrible realty of eternal death. Be a faithful witness to her, be gracious and watch your tone when you speak of these harsh realities, but do not draw back.

I will pray for you.

For now my contact with her is through text and I insert exhortations to her via that. I focus her attention toward Jesus and salvation of the soul because I do believe she is in denial of her condition and her oldest daughter thinks she is as well.

I think that maybe a good thing to do is text her a chapter to listen to and point out some things within that chapter to focus on and listen to it several times.

This scenario also actually also helped me to bring forward the Gospel to others who have family in the same condition. Too often I hear 'he/she is in a better place now' so I look to inject a reality check there with a question to cut through the emotions of it and in this cause I use my mother n laws situation to introduce that so I don't appear to be divisive.

I have to bring to her to knowledge of sin and what keeps her separated from God thus giving her chapters to read regarding that will sow the seeds of that into her heart. Jesus comes into play with that but being blunt with it is a key.

I have in my lifetime seen several people die and one who thought she was going to die. This has impacted me a lot on what I am about to say.

Marvin is right on target when he mentioned the futility of "comfort" during this time. I saw this happen to one who was not ready to die and she made all kinds of confessions when she thought she was dying but when she did not and recovered it was right back to the same ole, same ole sins.

QUOTE:
"This is not a time to comfort, this is a time to deal with the reality of spiritual truth. Comfort will come when the Spirit of God indwells. Do not allow yourself or her to be seduced by the traditions of "comforting the dying" when she is very quickly going to face the stark and horrible realty of eternal death. Be a faithful witness to her, be gracious and watch your tone when you speak of these harsh realities, but do not draw back."

Marvin is absolutely right - take it to heart.

God bless.

Sandra