Broken to restoration

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I just came out of the darkest Time ever in my life, I didn't know why at the time and it wasn't until it finished that God revealed to me the reason for going through the valley the way I did.

Before my trial began I wanted more from God, a deeper relationship, a stronger servitude to christ and less to the world. I stated that I considered the cost and was happy to pay to get there. I had forgotten i had said this the minute my trial began.

* My wife decided she didn't want to be with me anymore and orded me out on the street. i left with just a suitcase in my hand.

* I was offered a place to stay with a christian male. two weeks into staying there i found out he was a closet Alcoholic and one night he lost his mind and asked me to leave.

* I moved into a boarding house

* 2 weeks into the boarding house my work decided they didn't want me anymore and decided not to renew my contract and escorted me of the premises (not sure why they did this) but i felt absolutley humiliated.

* Two weeks later I had to move to a cheaper boarding house as I couldnt afford the place i was in.

* I ended up sleeping on a mattress on the floor that was used in a pot growth room. The people in the boarding house smoked lots of drugs in the house and i had to put tshirts over my mouth and nose when i went to sleep so that i didnt constantly breath the smoke in my mout while I was sleeping.

* my christian friends all looked at me like i was a leper and you could tell they all thought i was out of the will of the father. (friends hurt you the most with their Judgements)

* Every 3rd day I would feel depression fall on me like a heavy quilted blanket to the point i just wanted to die to escape the pain and grief.

This all went on for about a year and didnt cease the whole time I was praying and fasting. Then I felt it broke like a chain and I knew the trial was over.

What was it all about? My flesh Nature had to die, it had to be raised on the cross with Christ so that I could also rise in Christ as a new man. The old wine skin had to be discarded so that the new wine had a clean place to live in. This fiery trial had burnt my pride away, and a humble gentleness came fourth. when i see people in grief now my heart melts in tears for them. My life is no longer My own it is the fathers to do as he wills.

Watchman nee talks about "the release of the spirit" and explains the process very well (I never read any of his works until after my trial was finished) The outerman (soulish part of Man) must be broken so that the inner man (spirt part of man) can come out and be used for Gods glory.

Ps. God gave me a better Job then i have ever had, i have been healed in my back, all depression was cast off and i had a $73,000.00 debit disapear in one night making me nearly debt free. I had my testimony up on youtube as a preacher wanted me to share my testimony. I didnt want to but i did any way and i am told that lots have people have contacted him because of the testimony, wanting prayer from suicide and depression.

Wonderful testimony Karl!

"...all things work together for the good of those who love Him...."

May the Spirit of Christ be released in ever increasing measure through your life.

What a great testimony, Karl !
Bless you and thank you for sharing with us.

Rom.8:17-18,
"And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
18 ¶ For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

””””-
elizabeth

2 Corinthians 1:8-10 Modern English Version (MEV)

8 For we would not, brothers, have you ignorant of our troubles which came to us in Asia. We were pressured beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. 9 We had the sentence of death in ourselves, so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead. 10 He delivered us from so great a death and does deliver us. In Him we trust that He will still deliver us,

Wow, your testimony is such an inspiration to me. God is faithful and good!

John 12:24 Verily, verily I say unto you, unless a grain of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone; but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.

-Daniel

Thanks for the story and inspiration.

I feel I may have a time like that coming up to break me of my flesh and bring out the sweet humility of the Spirit like you were saying.

Thankyou everyone for your comments and scriptures they encouraged me this morning.

The biggest thing I learned is that God was working in the background to release blessings in my life when the time was right. Durring my sorrow it was difficult not to put a razor to my wrist on certain days instead I would praise the Lord for his goodness with tears running down my face knowing that somehow God was in control and this darkness would end some day. I knew God was with me but he was silent the whole time. this was the first time God was silent in my life. I would pray and situations seemed to get worse. I fasted 21 days as well with no change. I had to learn to completly rely on God for everything in my life because everything I tried to do to change my situation only seem to make it worse. Like the wild stallion that needs to be broken in. it was at the point of exhaustion that I finally lived day by day in Gods grace.

Hi Daniel thats the exact verse God led me to to understand what was happening in my life :)

Thankyou William I feel an excitement inside of me and i know its the life of christ.

Hi NoahJD83

Amen to your statement, may the lord bless you durring this time and build a deeper relationship with him in your life :)

Hi Elizabeth

Great Scripture thankyou.

What a heart-breaking testimony!

I would love to see it on Youtube!

I had a similar experience 13 years ago.

Years back in a men’s fellowship I once prayed that I would invite God to deal with me however he likes, even if it means adversity, to get me where he wants me to be so that he can use me for His purposes. Soon after my trouble begun. I accepted a promotion in the company I used to work for at that time. I lasted in that job for half a year facing situation where nearly all my weaknesses surfaced, paired with external political issues that made me fall flat on my face. I left the company with a serverance payment. I took a break for a while and then started my own company trying to set up a business. That did not work out either and I scrapped it after months of trying. Soon after I invented a new product that I developed in a long process with a company in China. It took 2 years to develop this product. In the meantime I took low paid temporary jobs doing customer service, bus driving and call centre jobs to support my family. Finally after a couple of set backs, the product was ready and I placed my first order and shipped it over to the UK with the plan to start an Internet business. I sold not more than 9 units, having exhausted all my marketing efforts and a lump sum of money. I was at my wits end and had grown very disillusioned and extend prayer walks kept me barely from becoming clinically depressed. It took me another 6 months to find a proper job, while in the meantime I again held various temp jobs. Finally I found a job in my original field, however at 60% of the salary I was earning when I left my last permanent job.

In the meantime our church went through a crisis. We were into this Toronto stuff at that time, whith all the hype, falling backwards, high strung women prophesying, marriage break downs, relational issues, and all the rest of it.

I used to somehow participate in this but still held a bit of a distance. During my personal crisis and church crisis I finally came to my senses and saw the spritiual reality of it.

I had a rude awakening when I discovered that I had been deceived by false teaching. I was deceived because I still loved the world and personal gain under my mask of piety and devotion. The Lord exposed my pride. I do not blame the people who deceived me, I only blame myself.

I finally left the chruch in search for green pastures, but there weren't many churches that were not somehow infested with either liberalism, legalism, or controlling leaders.

We went through 5 or 6 churches before we moved to Germany.
Even there I fell out with the pastor because I preached on Psalm 1 and they accused me that I focussed too much on sin and on the fate of the ungodly.

Now I am leading a small fellowship with other godly leaders who have a high view of truth and holiness.

Oh praise the LORD!

Amen Narrowpath

I can see through your testimony that through this brokeness, you found the truth and gained in wisdom :)

My testimony on youtube is only a brief part and i have been asked to put up part two of testimony. I don't like videos of myself but God has been getting all the Glory and people have sort help from God as a result so for him I do it. :)