Hello again, David - His grace, mercy and truth be with you in fulness.
I do not wan to misinterpret or misunderstand you, on some points and references, which I'd be blessed to discuss further with you - either here, by email or offline - if the Lord seems in agreement and you are willing. My sense is that you are focusing, mainly, on the need and ability we have to repent and pick up our crosses, post-conversion, yes? However, for the moment, I'd like to caution entertaining the idea repentance is simply and always an open invitation, either pre or post conversion. Please, by His mercies and love, let's consider some things which arise in my spirit, on this matter.
We must remember, Jesus clearly taught, "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day. It is written in the prophets, ‘AND THEY SHALL ALL BE TAUGHT OF GOD.’ Everyone who has heard and learned from the Father, comes to Me...no one can come to Me unless it has been granted him from the Father.” (John 6:44-45, 65 NASB) Also, "All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out. "For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. "This is the will of Him who sent Me, that of all that He has given Me I lose nothing, but raise it up on the last day." (John 6:37-39)
Now, it seems pretty clear there must be a definite sense of God's loving, convincing, personalized drawing and inviting at work to ready the soul for true repentance and reception of Christ, via the baptism of the Holy Spirit. This may or may not be at one, fixed point in life and the way in which the Father draws us certainly varies, in circumstances and timetable. However, we cannot simply recognize the need to repent, prior to conversion, at our leisure. In my own journey, which I very briefly summarized last entry, the desire to "experience" God, without full understanding and willingness to truly humble myself to be crucified, far preceded the deeper, convincing sting which prompted me to really begin to repent and pick up my cross. Hind sight seems to show me I really wasn't ready, perhaps not able (only He knew my heart at that time), early in my progress toward becoming saved and walking as a true disciple. He may have allowed me to wander, longer than necessary; or, used the whole timeline and process, in order to be sure I'd ultimately make the right choice. I may never know, until the great and terrible Day of the Lord. Praise Him, one way or the other, for allowing me to come to the knowledge of His Son!
Once we are truly converted, marked by the distinctive, definitive and unmistakable baptism of the Holy Spirit, which comes to indwell, our old nature cannot continue to be an excuse for ongoing unbelief, sin, etc. This is the point at which this thread began, with William's post on 8/28/18. However, certainly, the battle between flesh and Spirit will need to be continually fought, becoming less intense as we learn to walk by the Spirit and obey. People may win and lose battles, progress and temporarily fall back, in varying degrees, to be sure. However, the life of an obedient, growing disciple is marked by increasing spiritual fruit and the consistent crucifixion of the flesh (desires and deeds).
Also, another thing came to my mind as I've been prayerfully, carefully considering your words and this aspect of our faith. In Hebrews, we are reminded (as already converted believers, just to be sure we are on the same page, here), "Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end, while it is said,"TODAY IF YOU HEAR HIS VOICE,DO NOT HARDEN YOUR HEARTS, AS WHEN THEY PROVOKED ME.” (Hebrews 3:12-15) Furthermore, later, we are warned, "See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. For you know that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought for it with tears." (Hebrews 12:15-17).
Time does not permit me to delve into some thoughts on these passages, for now. I'll try continue, later, as the Lord prompts and allows. However, can we agree it seems a very dangerous, risky thing to chance holding off on repenting and submitting, if we know we are holding out on Him, knowing it could possibly lead to being left behind?
Again, if I seem to be misinterpreting anything you said, please let me know. I hope we may edify and encourage one another, ongoing. Amen and grace be with you, always.