is this a cult?

I have been attending a church, and the pastors/elders have told the folk/attendees that if we get counsel from another source, they will no longer counsel pastor that member. Where can I find in scripture how pastors are to counsel, lead the flock and if it's sin if a person gleans counsel from another person? thanks Doug

It does not of necessity make it a cult.

Yet, it does not of necessity make it a safe place to attend either.

If you intend to continue to attend, I'd be very much on my guard.

And I, if I had to be very much on my guard with the leadership where I attended, would most definitely find myself having to go elsewhere in a very short time.

I'm glad you've brought this to the attention of this forum.

As you continue in prayer, I am sure God will give you clarity as to what decision you are to make and when.

It is hard to tell that without understanding the spirit in which it was said. I am part of a fellowship in which the Elder tells that if we have any interaction with people who left the fellowship then we too will leave soon. It might sound harsh, but it was said with a spirit of concern for the people for whom they have to give an account before God. The elders were concerned that people who left the fellowship might spread their dissatisfaction and complaints to other members and cause further division in the church.

This wasn't that type of situation. Basically the pastors said they won't pastor/counsel if someone is getting counseling from another source. A new family joined the church recently and has a heart to minister to broken families and they were told by the elders not to minister or help hurting families in the church. They left. But then the pastors told the body not to receive any counsel or help from them. I guess basically it is how do you minister to one another in a body/church. This just is upsetting and I can find the Biblical reason why I wouldn't want to minister to a hurting family, and having to get permission from the elders.

Doug, You wrote; " This just is upsetting and I can find the Biblical reason why I wouldn't want to minister to a hurting family, and having to get permission from the elders. "

Did you mean "I can find," or I Can't find?

In Christ: Phillip

Hi Phillip, it was supposed to be "can't", writing from my phone... missed that.

Also, our pastors said something about families are to be autonomous and people are not to get involved with other people and tells them what to do in their lives. But it seems contradictory when the pastors are the only ones who can, just not others. maybe I'm missing something...

Hi Doug,

Sounds like there is an amazing opportunity knocking on your door:)))

While it’s true even the best of us are going to make mistakes and misjudgments from time to time, (even pastors,elders, etc..) we are nonetheless knitted together with them in the body by His word :)

So regarding your initial line of questioning,... what did the Lord say to you personally when you prayed about it?

If you’re having a hard time hearing Him on this, then pray for the leaders and parishioners individually seeking mercy on their behalf 🙏🏻😇
It sounds like all parties involved need to receive Gods grace and mercy is requisite to this end. (They all need to hear it directly from His mouth -Lk 4:4 kjv)

Our Lord says, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you”

So brother Doug, put yourself in their position for a minute and consider how you’d like for the spiritually stronger members to act if you were in a difficult situation, then purposefully seek the Lords face on this and He will, by His word, bring life to this situation:)))
Who knows, maybe He will even use you to do it and thereby grow the body you belong to into a stronger more (spiritually) profitable arm under His command 🙏🏻

In the meantime I will pray for you personally Doug, that the Lord would draw you into Himself, strengthening and equipping you and giving you vision (light) on how to respond to this with faith and not frustration😇

Doug,

As you've elaborated some more upon the goings on at the place you're attending, it's evident that those in leadership there are not submitted to the LORD Jesus.

It's apparent that they are exhibiting more of a spirit of Diotrophes (3 John 1:9,10) than the Spirit of Christ.

I would get out of there and bring as many out along with you as are willing.

This verse follows the warning about Diotrophes;

"Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God." 3 John 1:11

I would suggest you to have an honest talk with the Church leadership directly. The new family might not have counselled in the right spirit. In a small fellowship, the newcommers are mostly trouble makers. It is very hard to get someone in right spirit who is willing to submit to the authority of Church leadership.

As long as you stay in that fellowship, you are under the authority of the leadership there. So talk to them in a humble spirit about the questions in your mind.

Thanks all. I will be praying about this. The family is actually very close to one of the family members before the elders for almost 20 years so it's not a newcomer stirring up trouble. The couple is coming from a conviction of we are called to minister to hurting families and done this for 15 years and the way the church operates is a violation of their convictions. He gave me James 4:17 where is heart is. They are humble. This is not the first time the elders have done this. They are very protective of their ministry and church body. I just need to hear the Lord's heart on this and respond in love and kindness and decide to stay in this church or what the Lord has. This is Christ's church. There are other doctrinal issues I haven't shared with this church such as female pators and mixture of healing/prosperity without a gospel message. It is a very complex situation it seems but the Lord has an answer in His word because nothing new is under the sun. I just want to follow the Lord. My doctrine and position has changed in the almost 6 years I started attending this church and I want to do what the Lord wants me to do. Thanks for praying for me if you hear the Lord asking you to do so.

so in November of last year, our senior pastor passed away and I found out that it was his wish that his wife becomes the senior pastor of our church.

I just confirmed that with another elder and this is true.

I think I have my answer so I am talking with them about what this means. This is kinda a clear doctrine in scripture about women and leadership in the church.

please keep praying as the Lord leads us and I maintain a Godly attitude in love through the conversations with the church leadership. I'm starting the conversation with them tonight.

You actually have to be very careful with people offering counselling, especially newcomers. They may offer counsel and thus draw people to themselves, aiming at the weaker ones. Before long these weaker sheep have more loyalty to the counsellor that to the leadership. This is what happened in the fellowship I used to lead. A couple started a marriage course. It was good in the beginning. I had tried to envolve the husband of this couple in the leadership, but he refused. Then they started to form their own group within our group, picking the weaker ones, with the aim to counsel them. They managed to attach people to themselves and I had no choice but to leave the group to them. The sheep were scattered.