Praying Before Speaking

O Lord my God when I first knew of you Lord in the recess of my heart, I was yet a child. Though I could not understand the magnitude of your throne and the breadth of your canopies, I knew that you were true God. In my childish manner I was received into your courts, and as a child I believed that all my friends were good. So as I looked at them in the quiet place of needing to understand why Christ died, I saw that none were weeping Lord. In my consternation I asked myself why? Yet I cannot say O Lord that they despised you or that they did not have their thoughts and neither can I say that they did not have their burdens and their pains also. In that instant Lord, I knew only that you were my Lord and that you had given your life on the cross. And I knew that I wept and my friends were dry. Selah

Now O Lord these many years later I come before you a child, no longer innocent of offending your glory and no longer innocent of the breadth and depth of your great love with which you have loved all men. It is as though I am ruined, Lord. It is as if I have thrown all your tables down and scattered your plates. Hear my cry O Lord. Restore unto me O Lord the joy of your salvation and renew a right spirit within me. Forgive me, Father, that I no longer look through eyes that are sanctified by tears, which when as a child I knew in my childish innocence. Forgive me O Lord that now through the trials of life by which I have come to know that though my friends were dry, their pain was real and their consternation was no less than my own. You knew them all O Lord and yet you gave me tears. Selah

Forgive me Father, that I have walked only in the remembrance of my childish tears seeing that Christ died, and grant me the burden to remember that it was my sins that brought your Son to the cross. Cause me to know Father, that the remembrance of my innocence when I wept of your Son, and my childish tears will not now deliver my wretched friends for who's sake He also died. Forgive me, Father, that I have taken confidence in childish tears which by now are a ruined house, and ought to have come into your dominion wherein it is no longer possible to see only my pain and my grief in life, but must now also see the great love with which you have loved all men through your beloved Son. Forgive me Lord my God, that I have thrown down your tables and scattered your plates so that my friends who were dry when I wept, are now scattered also. Have mercy O Lord, and gather them into your fold. Amen

ܡܫܚܐ

Can you explain this prayer, especially the third chapter?

Forgive me for taking my time to respond to your question. I have felt some reluctance to answer - albeit that you are entitled to ask - and more than likely have a good reason for asking.

The prayer is a real prayer that was written seven months ago for a young man (aged 30 years) and reflects a process that had me moved in a spirit of grace to give the lad every opportunity to see his condition and to find release from it. He was a Christian in a dire circumstance and in desperate means.

The first part is an account in time and space and has to do with myself as a seven year old boy sitting in a cinema watching a film in 1965 on Friday 9th April with my entire class of forty children on a school trip. The film was released one week before Good Friday 16th April. And this viewing was on the day of release.

I began to weep silently in the semi darkness and did so when I saw the Lord was crucified. I realised that I was moved in an inexplicable way because tears were flooding down my face but I was not crying for myself. When I looked around to see if my school friends were crying I realised that they were not.

As I began to write this prayer I found that in order to speak to the young man I needed to speak to myself and almost express to the lad his need by speaking about this event. As I did that I found that all the words were true of myself as they were also true of him except the first part.

I also realised that the third part contained a contradiction that were he to understand it he would see the contradiction in his own life. Not the self evident contradiction of his aberrant behaviour but an inability to see that his faith which he had had since he was a small child and was well proven even at that time was a snare to him. I had been speaking with him for months and he had met my family and he knew local pastors. I knew his father and mother were soundly saved and he was without excuse because he resisted every precept of truth and yet always laid claim to knowing the truth and for the last 20 years he had put his father and mother through misery and grave trials of their faith to uphold him and to find an answer to his extreme life of drug abuse and utterly reckless conduct.

I think the first two parts are somewhat self explanatory. It is the third that needs explanation and so I will write one in a short while and post it when I have found the liberty to do it. But thank you for asking your question.

ܡܫܚܐ

I did something very foolish. I began writing before interacting with our Father in prayer.

Amen brother, this is a principle very few walk in to be aware of the Lord and even asking Him before sharing. This is something I have encouraged in the forums for many years. And also we have this statement at the bottom of every post before you press SUBMIT:

"All our communication matters in the Lord and we ask that you consider that all our words will be accounted for by God one day: Matthew 12:36, James 1:26, Colossians 4:6. Speak with gentleness, with a servants heart. Imagine our Lord in the same room with you watching what you say to other believers. Speak to edify and love others and choose not always to be right but rather right in your attitude of humility and humbling yourself. You can review the full SermonIndex Community Guiding Principles (opens in new window) for more thoughts on how to post on the forums. "

The Lord bless you in growing closer to His Person and Character in your life.

Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to the second part if/when you feel lead to share.