Brother Mike,
I'm disappointed in my heart's immediate response to this post.
Actually, in general, I feel quite gun-shy about interacting with folks on this forum.
No one has done anything wrong, at all.
It's simply my experience, after being saved for over twenty-two years that when I let my guard down in Christian circles things go awry.
Believe every single word you wrote in this post. Mr. Ravenhill, though I never met the man, is the closest thing I have to a spiritual father. My theology very closely aligns with him and Dr. Tozer and other folks like Parisreidhead.
I've read through Reese Howells; Intercessor a number of times. John 'Praying' Hyde is my favorite book outside the Bible. I love reading George Mueller's Autobiography. And I feel a longing for God to make me an intercessor.
It may be (and I hope it is) that other parts of America and the world have a different experience than mine, but I cannot name a single church in New Jersey where this kind of white-hot Christianity and desire for prayer, the kind we read about in such works and in the Bible, would be welcome.
That is to say; I've been kicked out of churches for this very thing. For this desire. I was told by my first pastor that I prayed too much. I have never prayed nearly enough!
And every time I encounter a group of folks who I think share this burning desire, I am severely let down or blind-sided by some strange theology.
Please forgive any cageyness I may display. If we are truly of one mind and one heart, I do not want to pass that up due to previous experiences.
Unfortunately, I am wary. But I do agree and desire to be a part of a true movement of God's intercessors.
It must also be said that my own praying is weak. I find it difficult to pray with others. For being saved and walking with Christ for over two decades, my praying is quite poor. If I am with others who have cold prayers, it is easy for my own praying to be doused like icy water over a spark. And I also suspect that the fire in some right praying is, to some degree, lost on me. I don't perceive it, though it may be there.
I am afraid, as well, that my praying cannot bear many burdens. I am afraid that if I take on a list of prayer requests, I will do no one any good, least of all God. I have a handful of burdens on my heart and I do not believe I can divide my desire any further without weakening my desire. I am a simple man and cannot give many issues my undivided attention or passion.
However, again, I am keen. For what it is worth, I desire to pray with other Christians and I desire to be an intercessor.
And I hope that my post here doesn't come across as any kind of negative commentary on what you wrote. These are my own struggles and they entered the room with me.
