The Lust of the Flesh; adultery and a battle for my soul

Hi, If you haven't "been there", it's easy to be smug about this situation. However, having been there, I understand that this can be a consuming passion. Play with fire, you get burned. Feed your flesh and you end up in destruction. As our dear brother has so well stated already, take it to the Lord in open honesty. He already knows, and it is for this reason that He sent His Son to shed His blood for us. If we were strong enough to overcome such temptaion on our own, then we would not need God. The fact that you are at this cross road and seeking God tells me there is hope. The shed blood of Jesus is the Power of God in our lives. We acknowledge our powerlessness to our God over such a situation as this, and we turn our helplessness over to Him so that He can come in and fix the situation in such a way so that He get's all the glory. Here is one other thing you can do. Go up to the young lady and speak to her directly. Tell her that you are a christian, married to a wonderful lady and a father as well. Tell her that while you do find her very attractive and tempting, responding to her flirts would reak nothing but havoc on your life and hers. Ask her if she would respect you enough, your wife enough, and your son enough to stop flirting. If she wears seductive clothing, ask her not too. Tell her you are not the strongest guy in the world, but you don't want to hurt anyone and you surely don't want to do anything phyiscal before your God. I can almost guarantee this will put a stop to it. It also may give you opportunity to share Christ with her. Father, I pray the abundance of Your love and Help for my brother. Give him strength and wisdom, truth and light, to quench this firey dart. Surround him with ministering angels and give him no opportunity to be alone with this woman. Give him a heart that gives you all the glory, honor and praise, in Jesus' Holy Name.In Christ Jesus,Lahry

Good stuff, Josh. I love you brother.Lahry

There has been a lot of great spiritual advice on this thread. If I may, I would like to offer some practical advice...1Co 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.1Co 10:14 Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry. 1Ti 6:11 But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. 2Ti 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.Praying and asking God to help us fight against our flesh is certainly scriptural, but there are also a lot of references to "fleeing" from sin and temptation.You can certainly confront this woman you work with, and witness your Jesus to her, and the Holy Spirit can impress that upon her heart and convict her of her own need of a savior.But let me also tell you... you are playing with fire here. You need to distance yourself from this women. You may even need to quit this job and go to work somewhere else. Move to another state if thats what it takes to maintain your purity, and your marriage!Imagine what it will be like to go thru a heart wrenching divorce. Imagine the day your wife finds out that you're having an affair. (I know you havent actually had sex with this women... I'm laying out what the future would be like if you let this go on too long) Imagine the look on your wife's face. Imagine the feeling of your face as you turn red from embarrassment. Imagine your family and friend's reactions when they find out. Imagine what it'll be like to lose credibility with everyone you know. And believe me, everyone will know what you've done. No one will trust you.And think of your 2 yr old son... not uderstanding why daddy cant live with him anymore. Your wife will have custody, and if your fortunate, you'll see him twice a month and every other holiday. You're wife will find a new husband who follows the Lord and is faithful to her, and before long he will be more a daddy to your son than you are simply because he's with him all the time under the same roof.And with God's grace your son hopefully wont grow up to be an angry teenager who gets into drugs.And imagine how it will feel when this woman that you have an affair with dumps you just after your divorce is final. All this for nothing!And even if you do marry this other woman... would you trust a woman who had adulterous sex with a married man?? But more than likely she'll dump you.So ask yourself... what measures are you prepared to take to save your family? You just gonna pray about it, or are you also gonna follow scripture and FLEE from this?And this all goes for internet porn too... unplug the internet if you cant control it. We all survived without the internet before the 90's... we certainly dont need it now. Get a filtering software and have your wife set the password. If your single, have your pastor set the password. Better yet, have your mom set it.Man, I'm telling ya... it's better to cut yourself off from this stuff than go anywhere near it!Mar 9:43-48 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.I struggle with lust just like every other red blooded man... in our society it is everywhere. But I am learning to cut out those things that would cause my heart to wander from my beautiful wife. It is a struggle, and I dont want this post to come off sounding like I'm exempt... I'm not. This was for me as much as it was for the original poster, and for those who have ears to hear. I praise God I've never cheated on my wife in the sense that most heathens consider "cheating"... but I can not say my heart has always been innocent. Jesus really backed us into a corner with that one. I really believe that that was His way of showing everyone of us that we have broken the Law... and need salvation.So I ask you, my friend... are you man enough to make some hard decisions? Are you man enough to do whatever it takes to get away from this situation? Or are you going to resist getting burned while standing in the middle of the fire? Let me assure you... you are not Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego!Krispy

Sin will take you farther, than you intended to go.Sin will keep you there longer than you intended to stay.Sin will cost you more, than you were willing to pay.

'May the Lord grant you victory until he bury your enemy under your foot. Bro. my advice for you through my own experience is never give up to the temptation - once you entangled yourself psychically in this kind of matters there is no way out - you will really pay the price - whatever it is never take the opportunity to kiss or hug her. Never give in even though you find favorable situations to do so. It is better to struggle in mind than to be tied with bodily adultery. There is more power of sin therein. I actually know many people who interacted demons from their partners during sexual intercourse. When the demons mainfested they tell that and the people themselves confess. (may be to hard for you to accept but this is the case of many on my area) I believe the Lord will give you victory now that the thing has come to light and darkness will never have power on it. In Jesus name I break it! AMEN!'What Mekdi has shared here is a universal truth. Don't be fooled by thinking there are more demons in another country than your own, wherever you are. You'd be believing a lie. Also, perhaps it may come as a surprise, but there is nothing unmanly about refusing a sexual offer. Paul said 'To avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife.' (I Cor 7:2)You are not required to evangelise your seductress either. She has to take responsibility for her own soul. All you need to make clear is that because you are a Christian, you are NOT AVAILABLE. The presence of 'chemistry' is a common occurence between people. An Archdeacon in the Anglican church shared at aa conference, that the same thing occasionally happens to him (actually, he said, to both of them) when he is having to spend time alone with a woman with whom he has reason through his ministry. As soon as he realises what's going on, he brings it straight out into the open and states plainly that nothing is going to happen between them, citing the fact that he is happily married as the prime reason.Brother, you can ask the Lord to break the power this has over you. If you pray this in the Spirit, and back it up with your own actions, He will do it.I would add a word of testimony about how I've learned to pray for myself in situations by which I've felt or feel recurrently overcome. First, make a cold-blooded decision in general terms of intending to be free from this, whatever it takes, then ASK the Lord to systematically back you into the corner which effectively IS the heart of the matter for you. (In the same situation, another person may have a different flash point. That's not your concern. You have to deal with you (as you are doing. I'm not making light of this, just putting perspective.)) It has surprised me over the years to find that this last place - 'the corner' - is not such a hard place to be, although it may take time and other situations being dealt with appropriately for His glory, to get there. In the end, you find yourself choosing between something you would give up for the Lord, and the Lord. Faced with such a simple choice, it's very hard NOT to choose the Lord.

Krispy's post also struck at the heart of the matter of actually overcoming this situation IN REALITY. 'But let me also tell you... you are playing with fire here. You need to distance yourself from this women. You may even need to quit this job and go to work somewhere else. Move to another state if thats what it takes to maintain your purity, and your marriage!I was still single when I had to do exactly this, to properly break the power a relationship had over me. It was partly a matter of showing God I was serious about being free from the underlying issue which was a danger to me. But also, I'd say the breaking in my heart didn't come till after I'd moved, and I was having to go through ridding myself of every vestige of reminder of what that relationship represented spiritually. This turned out not to be a 'going through the motions' of something which was already accomplished in me. To my surprise - I'll give you an example - a letter arrived for me. I can't remember if I succumbed to opening it; I suspect I did. But someone had suggested I burn everything. It was a good suggestion, but, I still had not burned anything, although I had brought nothing. Stuff arrived in the post. So, intending to burn this letter, (definitely not reply to it!) I prepared to do so by hanging out of the window of my bedroom as a safe place to light a match in a communal living situation. I probably began this attempted incineration sometime after 7 in the evening. Simple job. Oh not so simple! After much sweating and prayer, tears and reversals, I think I finally did the deed at about 3 am. Next after some sleep, I took everything to a place they could be burned completely, and tossed them in. It hurt my celtic thrift to do this to NEW things but, as well as being the toughest, these were the most useful steps I've ever taken for my spiritual development.At 27, (I was around the same age) you can be sure that this type of situation, testing your reactions in this, will arise again and again during your walk with the Lord. You must cultivate a resolve, which eventually you are putting into action instinctively.Also, don't ask yourself if you're being honest, when you're resisting. That's one of the enemy's oldest tricks - to tell you you really want something..... Just remember, he has no interest in the salvation of your soul. The only person who can make sure your soul is saved, is you, by finding your way into the presence of the Lord, every time this kind of temptation arises. Your soccour comes from Him. You need to tell Him everything and consciously enlist His help as well as asking for His interventions. He will be less embarrassed than you are.