How to Be a Successful Ear-scratcherIn today’s world of decadence, self-indulgence, and narcissism (me-centeredness), ear-scratchers are at a premium – just as predicted in Scripture: “For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine.Instead, to suit their own DESIRES, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their ITCHING EARS WANT to hear.” 2 Tim 4:3You can be part of that “great number of teachers” simply by learning how to scratch ears. Here’s how to get started: Listen carefully to the praises of the people. Note what they like about you, what gives you the most positive feedback. This is how you pick up clues for what to say. Pay close attention to the religious trends, and try to follow as best as you can. Read their books, and listen to their messages so that you can talk just like them. THINGS TO SAY:Tell them whatever causes them to respond favorably to you. Make the people feel good, so that when they leave, they will say, I’m glad I came to hear you. You made my day. Refer often to the sins of the world – the homosexuals, abortionists, and the terrorists. On the other hand, praise the congregation for their good works, efforts, achievements, and nice buildings. Be sure to make a comment about God’s glory in it all. That will make them feel very good about their spirituality. Assure them of God’s love and unconditional acceptance. Make salvation as easy and inviting as possible. Promise lots of wonderful blessings for all who get saved. Better yet, tell everyone they are saved. They like to receive that kind of assurance. Talk about exciting times coming ahead – great moves of God, glory, revival, etc, Focus on the grandeur, the spectacular, and the sensational.Give promises of numerical and financial growth. Talk about your achievements. They will want to know that you are a successful person. Be cool. Be funny. Give them a good laugh. Tell a lot of good stories and jokes. WHAT NOT TO SAY: Don’t talk about hypocrisy. Don’t touch hidden idols: ex: earthly securities, pleasures, loyalties, status, feelings, church, the worship, etc. Doing so would be like touching a hot iron and will ignite the hot wrath of all who worship those things. You sure don’t want to get burned. They may be your best supporters. Don’t be a wet blanket. Don’t pour water on the altar of their fun, their religious zeal, and their psychological securities. You don’t want a Jezebel after you. Never talk about judgment unless it pertains to the homosexuals, abortionists, and terrorists.Don’t bite the hands that feed you. You may lose your bread. Avoid saying something that will offend anyone. Avoid talking about the wimpy, the despised, the unattractive, unimpressive, the insignificant, the dull things of this world. No one wants to hear that. Don't get too deep into the Bible. No one will understand. Diane
