Over the years I have put a lot effort in studying the "truths" of the bible. I even wrote my own systematic theology. I had all the definitions down pat and felt that I really understood these truths very well. In the last ten years I have been studying The New Covenant and Christ living within me. I read the books, went to classes, watched the videos, mediated much on these truths and confessed these truths out loud daily. I tried to believe with everything I had but I never could really believe or have the faith the God required. The fact is I could have never believed, or believe now or have any belief in the future with my natural mind. That is Impossible.
I have just by the preponderance of the scripture been convinced that a certain things were true. I read the Word of God and finally I have decided to make it mine. I had seen by The Scripture that a certain thing is true, and accepting it as being true. But that is still NOT the believing that God requires. I have just accepted something that is true concerning a spiritual thing, or something that is spiritual; but I did that it in my own understanding. My understanding has conformed to agree with that. I was are convinced of it: and what I was convinced of is right. But none of was the result of spiritual understanding. I taught that fact from my own understanding of it: whether it's "being in Christ", "sonship" - I don't care what it is. It is a spiritual thing understood with the natural mind. Rom 8:7; "the carnal - natural mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be."
We have even convinced each other doctrinally of certain things: that these things are true, or are not true. And just by the logic of the scripture and by the preponderance of the scripture or by adequate interpretation of the scripture, we have proved the thing to be so, or not so. I'm telling you is you can do all of that and still NOT have spiritual understanding. Spiritual understanding - when it comes, transforms your soul: it doesn't just change your mind about things. It transforms your soul, and, with God Salvation is all about a soul being transformed into the image of His Son, which is Christ in you.
Many times in the past I would reject and change my mind concerning a specific truth and replaced that view with what I thought was a more correct view. To grow up in Christ, we must walk in His Light. But this Light is not true doctrine or right beliefs. It is not words. It certainly does shape doctrine and cause belief and, in time, its brightness affects all understanding, action, and even emotion. But it is something far more supernatural than a right understanding. In fact, coming to see in the Light will not be the correction of your view but rather the awareness of His. It is more than a better perspective; it is a better Man. And you come to live in and abide in His awareness of what is real. This Light works in your soul the consciousness of what God has done in Christ. It makes what God has finished the experience of your heart. It brings the "spirit of your mind" (Eph 4:22) into alignment with His. This is what Scripture calls the "renewing of the mind" or "the mind of Christ" - when we who are born of His Spirit come to His awareness of all that is real in His Son.
We are never saved by our definitions, correct ideas or even correct doctrine. Rom. 5:10, "For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by HIS LIFE."
God had to bring me into absolute nothingness because as long as I thought there was some kind of a good quality in my heart; as long as I've got something there that I can glory in, some good quality, I could never experience Christ's Life within me. All God is going to do to you is to expose your weakness, expose your inability, expose your nothingness. That's what He is going to do. And this will bring you and I to the point where we have to say I can do nothing; I am nothing! Except it be the Lord, there is nothing! It is "not I, but Christ" (Galatians 2:20) That's the working of HIS death in us. It just is exposing. Sown in weakness, raised in power; sown corruptible, raised incorruptible. The corruptible must die! The weakness must give way to the power!
True faith is not something I can ever just will or decide to have. THERE IS NO FAITH BUTTON TO PUSH!!! I am just a clay pot (dirt). God never intended us to have any Righteousness, love, faith obedience or belief of our own. Spiritual understanding is to have the understanding of the Spirit working in us pertaining to all things. It is the understanding of the Spirit working IN YOU. Righteousness, love, faith obedience or belief are NOT Just things that God gives you. He gives you HIMSELF and He is the only true source of Righteousness, love, faith obedience or belief that exists. To make it clear you are 100 percent dependent on the Spirit of God to reveal the person of Christ WITHIN YOU.
You CAN NOT DO THIS by study or by trying to live the Christian life. Spiritual understanding is the understanding of the Spirit; for He alone has spiritual understanding. He alone knows the things of God; yea, the depths of the things of God; He alone has spiritual understanding. ONLY the Spirit has spiritual understanding.
Even the man Jesus Christ was 100 percent dependent on the Spirit of God within Him. He made it clear that He absolutely could do NOTHING from His own self and the works they saw were the result of His father working and doing them.
It is the Spirit Working In You. So spiritual understanding is having the understanding of the Spirit. You don't go take it away from Him; so it means that the Spirit is working IN YOU HIS understanding of all things. He doesn't give His understanding to you: He doesn't give it to you and say, 'There, now you have it.' No, it's HIM. It is the Spirit Himself. The Spirit is always there, always teaching, always exercising His understanding. And that does transform the soul. Spiritual understanding is The Spirit working in me according to His understanding: working in me in all things according to His understanding. Spiritual understanding is NOT "being led of the Lord".
So faith or belief is not just our choice but is our response AFTER receiving light and insight from God. Abraham's faith was the result of his encounter and so was Mary's. Without the Spirit giving us insight. true faith is just IMPOSSIBLE. The best example for us is Lazarus who was completely dead. God did not require him to believe. He was dead but after hearing Christ, he came out wrapped in grave clothes. The Old Covenant demanded perfect, love, obedience, and faithfulness but there was no way to accomplish that. NOW the New Covenant who is the person of CHRIST HIMSELF continually supplies with HIS VERY LIFE fulfilling all those demands.
I really thought that if I could understand the fact that Christ is my Life - I could live it. The first lie - it is IMPOSSIBLE to understand. The second lie is I can live it - NO I CAN NOT LIVE IT!!!
All my knowledge was coming from the WRONG tree. I wanted this knowledge so I could CONTROL my life and God Himself. Knowledge puffed me up and made me proud thinking I had it and nailed it. Then I judged people - I mean I thought they lacked the knowledge I had. I was right - they were wrong. I was trying to walk myself my the facts I knew. O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. There is no right and wrong - good or bad in the Tree of LIFE.
All that knowledge I had was JUST 100% DUNG!!! I am sure glad that God in Christ had crucified all that human effort and even the desire for knowledge and control.