People do not like me because I'm weird I suffer from Asbegers. I don't know what to do. I got kicked out of like Five Church's. My family talk about me. I'm asking God to change me. I tried changing myself that's not working. Im praying and praying. I'm just about to the Point where I want to throw my Bible out and give up.
Why are you getting kicked out of churches?
I once came to the same spot of giving up on my Christian life. But that is when the Lord met with me and filled with his Holy Spirit. when we hit the rock bottom, there is only one direction we can go, that is up.
Praying that you will be lifted up spiritually.
I would suggest being honest about your condition to fellow brothers and sisters so that they are willing to accept you.
People think I'm a dangerous stalker
I know what rejection is like. I walked away from Christ for 6 years; after I came back to Him, a christian friend of mine, who I trusted and thought was an exemplary christian, told me that the way I follow Jesus is "like a man stalking a woman and digging through her garbage." He, to this day, thinks I'm a false convert. Keep in mind I've known him for many years, he was my room mate for a time; my dad knew his dad and used to babysit him and his sisters. It hurt to be rejected by someone I thought was one of my closest friends. I still love him and have forgiven him.
I've been rejected by many christians who say I'm contentious for warning people against the prosperity gospel and other cults.
I've been rejected by all the people I thought were friends when I got clean from my drug habits.
I was rejected, for a time, by my own family after I got clean; they thought that I was a fanatic.
I am constantly rejected by the people I work with. (I talk to them and am civil; they even like my sense of humor, but as far as inviting me to their get togethers and BBQs and such, not a chance.)
But all that doesn't matter to me. Yes, it hurts. I am human and I can't shut my emotions off. But the One who will never reject me is Jesus. It's incredible the way He has helped me through every trial and affliction. Even when I fail Him, He is there to pick me up. The peace and joy He gives me are indescribable.
Jy'Quan, if you leave Him, where will you go? Everything this world offers is empty and meaningless. Cling to Jesus and ask Him for His presence; He will not disappoint you.
Quan,
Perhaps throwing away your bible and giving up is exactly the step you need to take before God will thoroughly take hold? I say throw it away and run, and see what happens. Maybe God has some deeper lessons for you that can only be learned this way.
I say this with sincerety and tenderness. Aspergers is of no concern to Jesus, nor is the opinion of those that frequent buildings on Sundays instead of staying home in bed (I frequently sleep in on Sunday mornings and find it more beneficial than attending a religious service). Bear in mind that Christian fellowship is not always found in a building with a steeple on top.
But to more pointedly address your concerns, giving up and simply trusting the work of Jesus on the cross is all Jesus asks of you, He will literally do everything else.
We are one of 2 things in this world, a vessel for the devil, or a vessel for the PERSON of Jesus. Jesus took your sin and suffering, rejection, humiliation, and identified Himself AS these things, and died to purchase you from the devil, who is father of lies. All of these bondages are broken by the crucified God, who destroyed the work of the devil.
But... He is risen and alive, ascended into heaven and now just waits for you to simply acknowledge this is for you. That is faith made simple, tell yourself it's yours and it is. God doesn't expect anything in return, just take it from Him by faith.
Once you do this Jesus waits to use you as his conduit to work in the world - He wants to use your body, mind, hands, feet, your Aspergers syndrome, and indwell you in order to make you a container for His very person, Christ in you the hope of glory.
The "blessed assurance" millions piously sing about is simply this - Christ in you. Turn your thoughts to Jesus and He will literally do everything, you just have to rest in Him and seek Him in secret where no one sees or expects you to (driving a forklift, walking down the street, laying in bed, etc.) When you simply seek God, knowing He is present everywhere with you ALREADY, everything else is God's responsibility.
If ANYONE tells you you have to do anything more than think about how the work of Jesus on the cross was form you, whether for forgiveness or living in the world as a son of God, they are lying. Be still and just know He is God, turn your thoughts to Him, think about Him, rest dear brother, all the work is done.
(To those who are not Quan, Jesus said blessed are those who are rejected FOR MY SAKE; I was rejected by a lot of people for my contentious doctrines, but none of it was for the sake of Jesus, it was for my own sake. Jesus was a friend of sinners, and ivory towers didn't exist in His day, only fraternities of Pharisees)
Jy'Quan,
Have you considered getting some counseling on how to live with Asperges with someone who specializes in that field? Someone who knows how to counsel people on the spectrum could really help you.
I had ADD growing up, constantly interrupting people with every thought in my head (and my mom spared not the rod!) and as I got older, I learned that I don't always have to share my thoughts, I can listen and keep my opinion to myself.
I've been kicked out of church a time or two myself!! You're in good company! Some in leadership do not handle questions well, they see it as threatening their leadership.
God bless you,
Lisa
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