You being able to mimic the language of a spiritual leader is great.
You being able to mimic their lifestyle of sacrifice etc is even better.
However, the grace they walk in to accomplish the will of God is only given by GOD HIMSELF. You just cannot earn, mimic, or manufacture this.
If you admire or even want to be like a leader in the body of Christ, consider that you can learn how to talk like them and even walk like them but ultimately your frustrations and anger for why you aren’t as influential or successful as they are is directed toward God. It is HIS grace and the measure of it that determines their destiny and yours. (Eph 4:7)
I so appreciate all the training and equipping in this generation that seeks to teach and model for people how to function in the kingdom of God- but the focus must be on becoming like Jesus- not a spiritual leader.
You can read their books, go to their conferences and schools, sow money, and even have them lay hands on you- but YOU must ultimately run YOUR race in the grace God has given you and not them. There are thousands and thousands in the body of Christ right now that just need to let go of all the pride, jeslousy, and insecurity and accept that their calling looks entirely different than their spiritual leaders.