Spiritual Union with Christ

When do we become "one spirit" with the Lord ? When does our spirit and His Spirit become one where it can be said I am in Christ and He is in me seated with Him in the heavenlies and He is in me walking, ruling and reigning in my heart, walking with me through life, His spiritual life having its source inside of me (not flowing as it ought perhaps) , by faith flowing out of me, and when is His fruitfulness coming through spiritual marriage, spiritual union, first available to be communicated to my soul ?

In the alternative, in order to arrive at a simple Biblical answer from a different direction, when is it possible for me to be a spiritual adulteress to Jesus? This question very obviously presupposes I have been wed to Him (Romans 7:2-3) and joined in one spirit with Him. Look at James' letter to the "brothers and sisters". For someone truly in the faith (seen by works), spiritual adultery happens whenever we pursue selfish motives instead of the will of God. Self love more than God love. When is being an adulteress possible ? When we have been married to another. When did that happen? Why would James write to his "brothers and sisters" everywhere in all churches and warn them about their actual selfishness and actual spiritual adultery and instruct them to immediately repent of their spiritual adultery if they weren't already married to Christ in spiritual union ? When do we become spiritual brothers and sisters of Christ to whom James wrote, when do we become children of God?

I'm not even going to give the answer. It is painfully obvious and it is painful to listen to arguments against the obvious.

Robert you ask some very good questions which I sometimes do not find it easy to answer due to the many distractions in my life at the moment, which I will not go into. But I will give this one a go.

I think that spiritual adultery has more to do with having an idol rather than self love, though I suppose self can be our idol. But more often than not, I think the idol is outside of ourselves as we were made to have one but that it be our Creator. We are warned sufficiently in scripture not to have idols.

It could be a spouse or another family member, a leader, a celebrity, our reputation, family reputation or a number of things, that we depend on rather than our God and often or not, unaware of. I was once convicted by the Spirit of having an idol in one of my children who is probably at genius level, and whose talents (wasted) made up somewhat for my previous low self esteem. For now, I know I am seated in high places due to nothing of myself but that is another matter.

These things however are for our carnal state, and are detrimental to our growth in grace for obvious reasons because we are espoused before we are actually married as in Jewish understanding.