Testing the waters or spirit .....

I haven't posted in a while and have been in prayer if I should continue or not. Though I told Greg I wouldn't anymore, I tried to shake the burden that was on me so strong, but just can't seem to shake it, so my apologies to Greg in what may seem like a mind-shift.I need to ask a question though ...Have you ever had a Burden, that basically started shortly after you were saved, and even if you've been saved, 10 or 20 yr.s or more ... you still can't "shake that burden" ?I need to ask that, because I'd also like to know if that has happened to anyone else.It helps to ask others about things that you yourself are going through sometimes.I really don't know how to express what's in my heart right now ... I just know, that maybe because I'm female, that I find myself only tearing up at times and that's about the only 'expression' I'm presently finding. Words are just not coming right now, but I'll just have to wing it, as they say.I don't know if I can post this or not ... and have struggled now for days,whether to do so... and actually, in my flesh - I really am having trouble posting at all, because the words really aren't coming with all this emotion flooding in.I figure maybe, if permitted, this post could be all that I can do to release the burden that has laid heavy on me, for almost 30 yr.s and ask, has anyone experienced this ?Our burdens may differ, but aren't we still One Body and function nonetheless as One Complete whole ?I confess, the reason for the 'Gifts' thread, was because, when I upset a sister on a thread, and never intended to, I realised, "she has The Gift of Mercy" ... and it made me love her all the more, instead of getting upset that 'I' may have been misunderstood.I know, for just one example, that Jesse's 'burden' is obvious to us all, but other's of you, carry burdens from God, that may not be as obvious as his or others like him.Yet Everyone is equal and equally needed in His Body. And I get upset when I see young people or young in Christ, think that they are any less, than others in the Body. A child may have more of Christ in them and gifts and insights then an older person, and that I've actually seen on many occasions.Since I was first saved, the burden for the Saints, to "make it unto the End", as in Last Days stuff, has had a grip on me, that try as I have, I can't shake for the "LIFE" of me.Everything I've ever posted anywhere's, had that same motivational burden/intent behind it. That's where my head is and I can't get away from it, though I've tried on many occasions. For me, I guess it's because "The End" for us, is all that really matters, in the end. Whether by death or by the Resurrection. The day we individually stand before Christ on His Throne, alone.Jesse wants to get them 'into' the fold, like crazy, and people may call him crazy, for risking all to do it.Then there's some who's burden is to just "keep" them in the fold until we see Jesus.What will it take to get us through "unto the End". I live and breathe the last days (and not by choice), and searching out, what would make one an overcomer.We pray for All Saints, everywhere, as we pray for ourselves ... to be faithful unto death.When that is all that is on your mind, it's hard to stay on a forum for long ... because you may sound too hard, or then try the opposite trip, and try to sound funny or slangish. But you can't shake what God lays on you. Jonah tried and others and then you feel that you 'are' in some belly of a whale, until you 'release the spirit' of what He's put on you.I've missed posting here and I've missed All of you, but at the same time, felt, that the written word, does not convey the heart of the person, every time ... though sometimes it might.If permitted, if I could unload here, just one last time and ask if anyone can understand where I'm coming from, with this post ?First - This page is for Children, if you have any or work with Children ....to strengthen them for persecution:http://www.crossroad.to/Persecution/stories/contents.htmlAnd for Adults http://www.crossroad.to/text/articles.htmlI know it's a heavy topic, but not my intent, to just get 'heavy' and one, as I said, I have tried with all my flesh and strength, to "get off of it" ... but before God, I can't, so I thank you for bearing with me.There are dozens of good sites out there like this one, but the amount of 'strengthening for persecution' and Research on Children's education and other Research, etc. etc. that's on this one has impressed me most.The site is also to prepare adults and keep them aware of the days that we are in. Current News, etc..It's a massive site and I still haven't been able to cover it all.Daniel 12 seems clear that, those things which Daniel had seen and heard were to be sealed up "until the end of days." And that the Saints or Elect "would be wise" or have "understanding".We are that generation, that the "revealing" of the mysteries of the Last Days will be revealed to, if we 'watch', as Jesus said. And lean on His Spirit for the revealing - John 16:13, with all our hearts, minds and strength.It was said of King David's men, that they were wise in their knowledge of 'the times'.I've loved the Classics for all of my saved life and always prefer them most, but the majority did not have the 'revealing' of Daniel's sealed up book, until "this" generation.The Classics, build up your knowledge of Christ and try to aim us all to "the desiring to come into HIS Image", the Scriptural way ... but we can't, by God's Word, neglect the present days that we, the chosen ones who will go through or live during the Last Days that we are living in presently and must needs be aware of, in order to Overcome.If we avoid or shun this, we're ripping out a major important chunk of the Bible or God's own Words to us... Prophecy !Rev 12:17 speaks of those who "have the testimony of Jesus" but then Rev 19:10 'defines' what that is ...Rev 19:10 And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it not: I am thy fellow servant, and of thy brethren "that have the testimony of Jesus": worship God: for the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of Prophecy.I've read some posts of those who are no longer here and they were excellent.I pray that we can pray for each other, as the Lord asked us to, and strengthen one another for That Day. Esteeming others as we should with the Love He's deemed necessary to 'get us through unto the end'. Corrie Ten Boom had said, that "it was only 'LOVE' that got her through what she & Betsy had gone through" and many a martyr & Tortured had given the same testimony, that it was 'Christ's Love alone working through & in them' that made them the testimony that they were, that gave the strength to endure unto the end.From my heart, God Bless you all and my prayers are with every single one of you here, as you had become my family by meeting you all.If I can't or don't post again, please understand, it is only because that my burden may differ from other's and that I respect that, Sincerely and that The Lord leads us all individually in different places and ways, and I understand and respect that entirely.I am very much grateful to have found this treasure trove of Authors. See you all when we see HIM. (Oh-Happy Day)Shalom-Shalom Annie

Annie, You have really touched on something here. Words cannot explain but i must read through this post again as you have really spoken to me. I was only yesterday sharing with a dear sister a sobering thought i had at night. It is the ONLY time i have with the Lord that is peacefull as i have three very young children. This thought was more 'meditation' i must say and was about death and how we all must go through it and i realised how little i have done, how my priorities were all wrong although i thought i kept them in check.It also made me think about the church i attend where i am having problems and weather or not i should leave there if it is going to affect my families salvation? Big sigh.I also must add i to haven't posted for a long long time because of my circumstances, i thought maybe it's best to get things sorted between me and my pastor first but they have not yet been resolved. I love The Lord with all my heart and i find myself constantly checking weather or not i am in His will. I love Him so much HE is our families only source of help, HE really is. I have had to learn to lean on Him and Him ONLY! His Word also is very precious to me.I fall many many times and He is there to pick me up, i cast my burdens onto Him, He is my strengh indeed. I cant quote scripture the way i would like to and that puts me off posting sometimes as there i feel are many here who know there Word well. Im not sure what im trying to say but i suppose im offloading a part of a burden i have, i am speaking from the heart. But for a long time now i have been discouraged by those closest to me and they have broken me.And i have found He has brought me back here, to this place with dear brothers and sisters just to share experiences and to maybe 'offload' at times. To also find gentle rebuke when we need it lol, i know i do!!Thank you Annie for your honesty and also those links, i will look at those as again i have children which my husband and i are trying to bring up the best way we know how, in The Lord and His Word.Blessings to you always,Geraldine :-)

Hi Geraldine, Don't put yourself down ... I replied to a post you did last week on another thread, that was Very Good and hit things on the head.You DO definitely have a heart and love for God ... and I bet you anyone else on here can see that too.As you say, "You love HIM so much" ... well, I've read some of your other posts, and that Love shines through, clear as light :-) .You've learned "the spirit of the law", rather than "the letter of the law", and that is what He died to give us.Verbatum quoting of Scripture is not "the gift", but having read it, and "hiding it in your heart" and feeling and living it through your love for Him and others IS the Spirit.That's the "whole of the law".... Love ! Thank you for encouraging me also.I posted in fear above, to expose my heart's feelings, and you've helped me and at the same time edified me by your sharing your absolute Love for Christ Jesus. That blesses me more than I can say.Love rejoices at Truth.Thank you sister, and I will pray with you for your Church decisions. Amen ! God is Faithful to lead your husband to make the final decision.God Bless ya's.Love in Him,Annie

Chris, you nailed it on the head with your post.If there is no personal "relationship", then there is no walk.You probably know, from the Jewish side of things, that we are in a Marriage relationship with Christ. How should we treat our Spouse ?The Song of Solomon speaks of Christ and His Church, as I'm sure you know. That intimacy and privacy with Him, is what He desired in the first place. When Adam "walked and talked with God in the garden". (Nice song besides :)Fellowship is a wonderful growing thing, but relationship is, how I see it, 98% of it.What we glean from those intimate times with HIM, that you described, is what makes it a "personal relationship" ... One on one.Our Eternal Lover. We talk, He listens ~ He talks, we listen and share our Love together.That's AWE.You write well, as I've told you before and have read many of your posts ... and those quiet times with our Kingsmen Redeemer, bring the fruit of what you share, onto this Forum. Not flattery (flattery is sin) but just exhortation, that you've found the secret fount of all Eternal Blessing.God Bless, Protect and give you Increase in your Precious times with Him.Thank you for your closing line.Makes us long for Home... Where one day HE shall reign forever, Yerushalayim ... Finally :-)

Annie,I found your post in News and Current Events very thought provoking, in Is the Reformation Over?, which enabled to you to share some of your insight on this topic. https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=6556&forum=48&2I haven't posted in a while and have been in prayer if I should continue or not.EDIT: I'm learning to be more selective and hold my peace, especially as I see topics returning. There is likely to be a time when one can add one's two cents.I'm beginning to see more clearly an understanding of the end times is necessary but EDIT end. I don't know Revelation well, and happen to have read the end of Daniel only last night. The Lord is speaking to me in continuation of a study which began some years ago, quite organically, rather than in a formal context. It's relevant, picking up on SI's many discussions about homosexuality.Daniel 11:37Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all. Your burden and the inability to put it down is something I recognise. Sounds like you're having a 'burning in my bones' experience and if I were you, I'd stop fighting it 'cos I don't think you're going to win. :-?Jeremiah 20:9 (Young) And I said, `I do not mention Him, Nor do I speak any more in His name,' And it hath been in my heart As a burning fire shut up in my bones, And I have been weary of containing, And I am not able. Peace, sister. 8-)

Nellie,I had to pause here, your prayer for me was more appreciated than I can express to you right now.When we see each other With Him, I will have a better tongue to speak, and to say, what is only in my spirit, but my tongue limits.God has used you today, of all days, for me and I pray He bless you for blessing me 100 fold.You have discernment and a tender heart ... and that brings much pain. Mercy mixed with true Spiritual Knowledge from Above, is a mixture that made Jesus "a man of sorrow, acquainted with grief" and "knowledge (Godly) brings sorrow".But somewhere deep within our symbolic Holy of Holies inside, His abiding Joy resides, so that sorrow and His joy can somehow co-exist together in us. He is so amazing. Tears on the outside, yet that abiding trust that brings peace and joy to get us through Any storm.I was once in that position also, where my Pastor was unaware of a heresy that had come into the Church. We made a private appt. with him, to share it with him and he immediately went to task to rid it from the church.I don't know if you feel led to speak to him or not, but I sure will be praying for you for wisdom on how to handle this, if it's God's will.With your heart so bent toward pleasing God, if He says to go, you'll go to him and then I know the Lord will give you the words.Jesus wants us to lean on Him so much more than we do, as you know, for every word, action, etc..Nothing of us and all of Him ... our desired ultimate destination in this life.Mat 10:19 But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. Bless you Nellie, as you are in His Service.With His Love,Annie

Dorcas, I had written you a long reply and I'm a pokey typist at that. But suddenly the window just Closed on me and the whole site was gone.As soon as I saw your post, I started my reply and look how long ago that was. Oh my.Dorcas, what can I say but you and the sisters have really displayed the Body in Action.Exhorting one another with the central focus being on our Mutual Love ~ HIM. Unbelievabley Beautiful.You know I've always enjoyed your posts, or maybe you hadn't noticed, because your "seated in Heavenly places", where we are all are trying to stay and not get entangled with things that wouldn't be in Heaven, if that's where Christ has placed us already. He said we are, or should set our minds there.When it comes to any study, I lean on John 16:13 more than any verse, because for all my time with Him, He's proved Himself Faithful to that Word and all His Words time and time again.He will "lead into ALL Truth and show you things to come." That's His Promise to those that seek Him on all things. You can trust on that.He is Faithful and He which began a good work in you WILL bring it to completion.His Word is forever settled in Heaven. Amen.I was just rejoicing last nite in telling my husband what a feeling of "stability and comfort" to have such a God as He, who doesn't change His mind from day to day, etc..Now "that's" a ROCK. And one I am so grateful we can confidently lean on.His Truth is Truth is Truth and that's been and will be FOREVER. Wow, that hit me last nite like the best fireworks display I've ever seen.No one on earth can be that concrete, in never changing moods, or thoughts or opinions, etc... but God is the same, yesterday, today and Forever. We can Lean hard on that Fact.You sort of took me back there, when you posted that particular Scripture. My heart did one of it's famous flips.When I pulled the plug on the Internet almost 2 yr.s ago, I wrote a dear minister, that "I felt His Word was in mine heart as a burning fire, so it was hard for me to pull the plug."I'm ashamed to say, I didn't even know that verse in Jeremiah,,, until that same nite, the Lord had me find it somehow, and I felt the Lord's pathos, as if He was saying, "I know it 'hurts', but I want you to take this Sabbatical, away with Me, away from the Internet stuff, because we need to do something with you."Not in Service necessarily, but in that type of going up into the mountain type stuff, to let Him get things clearer in my mind about the Body and all. It was a beautiful almost 2 yrs after-all.Now today, with your post and the other sister's, He's taken this burden for The Body and displayed His Body in action, in how they circle around His Glory and exhort and aid each other, because of that common Love we share for our mutual King & Husband.Wow, to God be all the Glory, for how He's shown His sweetness and purpose through you all today.His Body in action still blows me away.Thank you Dorcas, and God sure will bless you as you seek Him in His Word and conversation with Him. I know it :-) !God Bless us all with His Love, until we Meet in Glory ! amen.

Dear Annie,Thank you for your uplifting words to all of us. I'm so sorry you lost your original post to me. I've lost two today through hitting the wrong key unexpectedly. It's a prompt to write in a different program and cut and paste when it's ready, I think! Sorry I've not been very responsive to your little comments around the forums. This I was thinking about before you posted today so glad you've mentioned it... Shall try to be more acknowledging all round. :-)

Nellie, it was mutual, believe me. HIS LOVE TO YOU.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I wanted to post more on John 16:13, the verse we can definitely LEAN on.From other's perspectives ....Joh 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, HE will guide you into ALL truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will show you things to come. Joh 16:13 - from Vincent's Word Studies.Spirit of truthLiterally, of the truth. See on Joh_14:7.Will guide (οδηγήσει)From οδός, way, and ηγέομαι, to lead. The kindred noun, οδηγός, guide, leader, occurs Mat_15:14; Act_1:16, etc.Into all truth (εις πασαν τὴν αλήθειαν)Rev., more correctly, into all the truth. Some editors read, εν τη αληθεία πάση, in all the truth. Others, εις τὴν αλήθειαν πασαν, joining πασαν in an adverbial sense with will guide you: i.e., will guide you wholly into the truth. The Spirit does not reveal all truth to men, but He leads them to the truth as it is in Christ.Of himselfRev., rightly, from himself. See on Joh_7:17.He shall hear (ὰν ακούση)Some read, ακούει, heareth, and omit ὰν, the conditional particle. Όσα ὰν ακούση, the reading of the Rec. Text, is, strictly, whatsoever things he may have heard.Will shew (αναγγελει)Better, as Rev., declare. Compare Mar_5:14, Mar_5:19; Act_20:27; 2Co_7:7. Also to rehearse; Act_14:27. Used of the formal proclamation of the Christian religion (Act_20:20; 1Pe_1:12; 1Jo_1:5). See on Act_19:18.Things to come (τὰ ερχόμενα)The article, omitted by A.V., is important. The meaning is not, He will show you some things to come, but the things that are to come, or the things that are coming. These things are whatsoever He shall hear. The phrase occurs only here in the New Testament.Matthew Henry on John 16:13The coming of the Spirit would be of unspeakable advantage to the disciples. The Holy Spirit is our Guide, not only to show us the way, but to go with us by continued aids and influences. To be led into a truth is more than barely to know it; it is not only to have the notion of it in our heads, but the relish, and savour, and power of it in our hearts. He shall teach all truth, and keep back nothing profitable, for he will show things to come. All the gifts and graces of the Spirit, all the preaching, and all the writing of the apostles, under the influence of the Spirit, all the tongues, and miracles, were to glorify Christ. It behoves every one to ask, whether the Holy Spirit has begun a good work in his heart? Without clear discovery of our guilt and danger, we never shall understand the value of Christ's salvation; but when brought to know ourselves aright, we begin to see the value of the Redeemer. We should have fuller views of the Redeemer, and more lively affections to him, if we more prayed for, and depended on the Holy Spirit.Jamieson, Fausset and Brown on John 16:12-15 - when he, the Spirit of truth, is come . . . he shall not speak of himself--that is, from Himself, but, like Christ Himself, "what He hears," what is given Him to communicate. he will show you things to come--referring specially to those revelations which, in the Epistles partially, but most fully in the Apocalypse, open up a vista into the Future of the Kingdom of God, whose horizon is the everlasting hills. Adam Clarke on John 16:13 - He will guide you - He will consider your feeble infant state; and, as a father leads his child by the hand, so will the Holy Spirit lead and guide you.The Vulgate, and some copies of the Itala, read, He will Teach you all truth; but this and more is implied in the word οδηγησει, he will lead; besides.He shall not speak of himself - He shall teach nothing contrary to what I have taught you:But whatsoever he shall hear - Of the Father and me, that he shall speak, and thus show the intimate consent between himself, the Father, and Christ. It is one conjoint testimony, in which the honor and glory of the holy Trinity, and man’s salvation are equally concerned.And he will show you things to came - He will fully explain every thing that may now appear dark or difficult to you; will give you such a knowledge of futurity as shall, in all necessary cases, enable you to foretell future events; and shall supply every requisite truth, in order to make the new covenant revelation complete and perfect.~ What Comfort and Assurity of this 'PROMISE' TO US ALL...~AMEN ! Glory and thanksgiving to Him. ~

Dorcas, The only thing I miss here, and please no one get me wrong, because I can't figure what sorta massive computer could hold this site, in the first place ... but I miss the "Search all posts by this Member" feature.I used to like to read certain posters stuff, because I liked their way of explaining things, and I've found that true here also.A lot of times, I just sit back and read and take it all in, without feeling any desire or want to post at all. Just Enjoy.We are not to have favorites, in the Sense of our LOVE for each other ... but some writers speak more in the dialect that we're used to.I've also found that true for you Dorcas, and Chris, and Mike and there goes this rankled memory again. It bombs out on me, as much as my computer does. Ho-Hum. BUT, you know what ? Since God "allows all things, for the good", I used to get so upset when my memory went due to a certain disease ... so I wrestled (reverently of course :) with God, "Please don't take my mind, take my legs or whatever, but not My Head." (HA !)Well, as the Gentle Shepherd as He is, He gradually showed me ... In a rather loud way, (ha) "DIDN'T I HAVE YOU WORK IN THE NURSING HOME TO SEE PATIENTS WHO WERE CHRISTIANS, AND EVEN HAD ALZHEIMER, YET BECAUSE "MY SPIRIT" LIVED IN THEM, THE SPIRIT WAS STILL ACTIVE IN THEM, EVEN THOUGH THEIR BRAINS WERE FRIED ?I'VE DONE THIS SO YOU WON'T DEPEND ON YOUR 'MIND' BUT ON 'ME'."me -> "Gulp ! Yes Sir."Hey, what else can you say when He hits with something like that ? Hoy !Well, Mutual ditos there friend and in Christ.Mutual Blessings.Annie

Thank you Joshua, that was swell of you to see that and to let me know. Thanks !!!Blessings to you also.Annie