What do I say to them?

I agree that there is nothing more powerfull than prayer and often there are no practical solutions to some of the most painful situations in life. I also don't think you can judge where a person has gone when they died as you never know what happened in the last moments so I don't think you can say that someone is definately in hell. I have been asked questions like this by non-believers about relatives etc and I always just say that you can't know. I believe a person can turn to God in the very last moment. There is only one person that we know definately went to hell and that is Judus.

Dear Strick,I know exactly what you are saying, because my whole family is Catholic too. Even my only child was converted by her boyfriend/now husband.When talking to family or whatever and it comes to the "where's Mom now ?" type questions, I just say, "only God knows", but quickly go back to Focusing strickly on the Love that Jesus expressed for the world and us all by His self-sacrifice, and so forth.The strongest "testimony" before others is the 'Love' that HE puts in your heart. That is one of the things, that we all need to pray for the most ,,, because both saved and Unsaved can "feel" that Love and with family and people who you're with, they can 'see' that new Love coming from you, and it draws them to it or at least, witnesses to them, that "something" is really different or "there" with you now.Sometimes, some will kick against it and shove you away, even if you hadn't said a word, because they can't help but be feeling the Holy Spirit, who is now resident in you.Let HIM do the work ... "through you", but focus on asking Him for that Love HE has for ALL humankind First and it will radiate from you, even if you may not be 'conscious' of it. It's a 'Jesus' sorta thing. 'HE' is in you now, and He IS Love. :-) AFTER they get saved, then 'they' can have the time to reflect on lost loved ones who are gone.Yes, it is quite crushing, when you get saved, and realize where some now are, but always, always, know that "No matter what ,,, God IS GOOD" and try to leave it there, with Him.Don't dwell on it, if you know what I mean. Some things are just so awfully painful, that all we can do is just leave it 'up there', at His feet, and really try to leave it there.He KNOWS how bad we hurt. He could use this hurt of yours, to turn you into a real evangelist for souls. Ya never know.My heart goes out to you and will be praying for you and who ever you witness Christ's Love to.Blessings.Annie

Clueless, your post wasn't there when I pushed reply, but I agree with you.We Don't always know ! When they found my very unsaved brother dead in his apt., he had a 'grip' on a cross that he had gotten somewhere's. Apparently, he had been holding it for quite a while. Peace.Annie

Don't forget the Lord is standing by you.The Lord knows the hearts of those who remain within the Roman Catholic system until their death. I have met Catholics who have a much more meaningful personal relationship with God, than some Protestants and I believe the Lord knows such hearts. When it comes to judgment, He will judge righteously. He will stand by those who know Him, whom He can say He knows. Sometimes I think it's a mistake to believe God will condemn all those who were in a religious system which attempts to obscure the truth, as if God holds the victims of such a system to account, in the same way as He will hold those who knowingly created it, to account. We should still seek to draw those whom we love and even those whom we don't know personally, out from under those bondages, but, until they have 'heard' the gospel, we cannot expect them to respond to it.I realise my first paragraph may appear to contradict my second paragraph, but it doesn't. Why? Because God uses many ways to speak to those who are seeking Him, not only the religious ceremonies and rituals where they at first may expect to find Him. Likewise, the Lord Himself is seeking those who will believe, and He finds. In your distress, I believe there is peace to be had by trusting His judgment in these matters.

I think Clueless has in mind such verses as “While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled.” (John 17:12, KJVS) “That he may take part of this ministry and apostleship, from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place.” (Acts 1:25, KJVS)I didn't really have any verses in mind and I guess was maybe not acurate when I said he went to 'hell'. Sorry about that. I guess what I was just trying to get across is the fact that we none of us know where a person has gone and that it may be easier and more correct to say that we don't know and only God knows. This may ease the burden as it is not like you then have to tell grieving relatives that the family member is in hell. Anyway I guess it is a side issue to the fact that it is more helpful to take the focus away from this when talking to non-believing family and to focus on the truth of the Gospel and the availability of Christ to them rather than to talk about what we can now do nothing about.