I need prayer friends

I've been having a rough time of it increasingly, with not wanting to stay alive.That quote I see above the page by Martin Luther is so true to me, it leaped off the page at me as soon as I came on line today. That's how I've been living and thinking for about 25 yr.s. Now it's just, God please take me "Home".I know that sounds like "self-pity", but I can only say, I'm beat, weary, tired, feeling useless and 'despairing of life' because of 52 yr.s of "stuff" and now physical disablement.If it were 'just' disablement, I know I could have taken it, but it has been 52 yr.s of "stuff" combined, that's causing this stupid dread/despair of life and just being so very tired and missing being able to do things. Like another brother on here said, I will never consciously commit suicide, but I wonder, if how I don't eat (haven't had an appetite for yrs and only eat one small meal a day) and other similar issues, may not be my way of a slow death thing. And that 'would' be sin.And of all songs to play right this minute, the radio's now playing "Never been more Home sick till now". This is weird. They're playing one after another on that theme.I shared with one brother on here, this "Home" thing is a biggie with/for me and I need prayer that somehow, God could restore my desire to "live", or else just let me maybe wake up to Him .... 'HIS' WILL BE DONE. Amen. But to please take this internal hurting away.I heard this song below and I started to feel my 'usual reaction' to it and figured ... Maybe it's time to ask for prayer.Thank you anyone who will pray.AnnieBy Steven Curtis Chapman ~ When Love Takes You InI know you’ve heard the stories But they all sound too good to be true You’ve heard about a place called home But there doesn’t seem to be one for you So one more night you cry yourself to sleep And drift off to a distant dream Where love takes you in and everything changes A miracle starts with the beat of a heart When love takes you home and says you belong here The loneliness ends and a new life begins When love takes you in And somewhere while you’re sleeping Someone else is dreaming too Counting down the days until They hold you close and say I love you {Jesus to me}And like the rain that falls into the sea In a moment what has been is lost in what will be When love takes you in everything changes A miracle starts with the beat of a heart And this love will never let you go There is nothing that could evercause this love to lose its hold When love takes you in everything changes A miracle starts with the beat of a heart When love takes you home and says you belong here The loneliness ends and a new life begins When love takes you in it takes you in for good When love takes you in

Annie,Recently I began praying for you to be healed. I didn't (as you know) have any special details but, I will definitely add this information to my petitions. This is the time of year for everything going downhill.You should think of getting a lightbox. You'd be surprised at how much difference you'll feel. 8-) Except, you take your sunglasses OFF to use it. :-P

I sit in the sun. Is that just as good ? I guess pain and very wacked sleep patterns from the M.E., etc., just makes things unravel some.Thank you for responding and letting me know you care friend.Bless you Dorcas, 'Always'.

Wow Hans, you just made me smile so big it hurts my face ... Ha !The verse you gave ... look at my post here ...https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=6922&forum=36&start=30&36Is this a coincidence or what ???That made my heart leap, but in a good way.Thank you so much brother for giving that word and for the kindness of you and your dear wife.We've always had that kinship, since you signed on, being "Nursing Home people" :-)And our common bond of course being Christ and Him Crucified. Amen.Thank you to the both of you and you and she will stay in my prayers also, as I have, for your ministry ... Amen. Keep up the GOOD work :-) Thank you and His Love.

Dear Annie,I don't want you to take this the wrong way - it's a little article by Spurgeon. I hope it gives some perspective as only he can. I have underlined the sentence that struck me most.All the days of my appointed time will I wait A little stay on earth will make heaven more heavenly. Nothing makes rest so sweet as toil; nothing renders security so pleasant as exposure to alarms. The bitter quassia cups of earth will give a relish to the new wine which sparkles in the golden bowls of glory. Our battered armour and scarred countenances will render more illustrious our victory above, when we are welcomed to the seats of those who have overcome the world. We should not have full fellowship with Christ if we did not for awhile sojourn below, for He was baptized with a baptism of suffering among men, and we must be baptized with the same if we would share his kingdom. Fellowship with Christ is so honourable that the sorest sorrow is a light price by which to procure it. Another reason for our lingering here is for the good of others. We would not wish to enter heaven till our work is done, and it may be that we are yet ordained to minister light to souls benighted in the wilderness of sin. Our prolonged stay here is doubtless for God's glory. A tried saint, like a well-cut diamond, glitters much in the King's crown. Nothing reflects so much honour on a workman as a protracted and severe trial of his work, and its triumphant endurance of the ordeal without giving way in any part. We are God's workmanship, in whom He will be glorified by our afflictions. It is for the honour of Jesus that we endure the trial of our faith with sacred joy. Let each man surrender his own longings to the glory of Jesus, and feel, "If my lying in the dust would elevate my Lord by so much as an inch, let me still lie among the pots of earth. If to live on earth for ever would make my Lord more glorious, it should be my heaven to be shut out of heaven." Our time is fixed and settled by eternal decree. Let us not be anxious about it, but wait with patience till the gates of pearl shall open.Bless you. I will be praying your ME disappears.

Daryl, Diane and Nellie.I can't even put the words out here, how touched, way down deep, by your words and the affect that they have had on me and I've really "tangibly felt" the affects of your prayers, since I posted this. I really "felt" the prayers today, and that hasn't happened to me too very often.Some have PMed or emailed, so this goes for them also.Do you know what Jesus our Lord, did for me today ?This "death wish" that I've had, has been with me since childhood. Because of mom leaving when I was 2 mo.s old and then going through 7 homes after that and all since I was little were abusive, etc. etc..And yesterday, being hit hard with 'guilt' for not being physically able to care for my home and cook, the way I used to, when I worked a job and did all sorts of things after work. So I yearned for "A Home" and love, since very small and I suppose, since saved, saw Jesus' Arms as that desired Place.Well, today, God laid RobertW's wife on my heart.I read on the Announcement board that his wife has had CT, etc. scans for the possibility of cancer in the brain.I cried out to God to let her stay around for Robert, etc. and then thought ... there are so many who "want" to live, for such good and loving and honorable reasons, yet are having their life 'threatened'. That broke my heart immeasurably and I said to myself, "you fool" ... these people have it so much worse, presently, then you do.They "want" to live, and some can't.I felt so foolish and rotten, yet at the same time, felt the Lord NOT condemning me, but comforting my wounds and scars while praying for Robert's wife and another family on here, that is in desperate need and pain.Thank you ALL so very, very much for your prayers.The pain is still with me, but the FOCUS has definitely shifted back to where it was and should stay. "Others, others, others." (foolish me):I had not seen Robert's post nor the other family problem post till After I posted mine here ... so I felt mine was so minimal compared to those who need prayer here.As Daryl has said, "intercession is of more importance than anything else in the world..."You all have done it for me and now, I want to be back at it myself and we can all join in for Robert's wife now and our other brother & his family.THANK YOU ALL, MORE THAN WORDS CAN POSSIBLY SAY.His Love, Hope and Peace to you all.With 'eternal' gratefulness. :-) Amen.Annie

Oh dorcas,Your post wasn't there when I pushed Reply.How beautiful by Spurgeon. Thank you so much for seeing what he wrote and posting it to me. It's so beautifully written. Oh my ! Yes, I've been praying about my "rough edges", so your underlined point is an "Amen Sister". :-)I also loved this ending part too and it brought great comfort and assurance ... "Our time is fixed and settled by eternal decree. Let us not be anxious about it, but wait with patience till the gates of pearl shall open." Amen ! Thank you dorcas for always being there for all of us, as your family.I pray my "me" disappears too ;-) .Bless you Always. Amen.

Dear Annie,I have experienced that longing to be in heaven. I know how hard pressed you must have been feeling, but I suspect you have many more souls to touch and bless before your time is up....The sentence after the one I underlined is also very challenging - the idea of never giving way.Because of mom leaving when I was 2 mo.s old and then going through 7 homes after that and all since I was little were abusiveSister, I testify to you there is more healing for you. While you are laid up, ask Him for it simply, every day, and let Him minister to you as only He can. I'm sure you've received healing many ways and times before but this is a realm of its own, which many may think they can do without, (not necessarily you), whereas to withstand, they really need to have every little gap in the foundation, solidly filled by His reconstructive power. Reaching back to those early months is not beyond Him. I've been amazed at how much - literally quantity of healing I've had recently, to lay-to-rest foundational inner man needs. Be blessed in this way... :-)