Am i going crazy??!? (please read, about my life)

When you start to get really excited about hearing a good sermon, and waiting for the download to finish you know something has changed in you haha.When I think of how my excitement used to come from waiting for the next party on a Friday night.I recently got an ipod mp3 player, and at work I just listen to sermons all day, i am able to do this because i am a builder and in some jobs you can just work away by yourself all day with your earmuffs on. i must have hundreds on there now i think, i have also put the audio bible on there which is great from, www.audiotreasure.com for a free kjv one.I am from New Zealand, I have been a Christian for about 4 years now, and i was just getting so sick of the weak messages I kept hearing every Sunday.(I don’t want to judge them, but for me they weren’t doing much, maybe they were for other people)I have a godly grandfather whose prayers played a big part in me being saved, and his knowledge and testimonies and powerful stories of God working, gave me a hunger for more than what i was seeing.On altar calls etc i never got anything, i would see other people falling down, and weeping and i would think why do they get something from god and I don’t.I came to the conclusion that for me. the only way I would get closer to god is when i sought after him with all my heart, but this was something that only ever lasted for weeks at best, then things like the TV and computer games, going out with friends, would take up my time, and my time with god would fade away even though I wanted to serve him with everything I had. However, there was one stage though where I did really get close to G-d, and it was when i was soaking myself in the word of God, and trying my best to pray when I could. I went and helped out some missionaries for 3 weeks and it was great.But even after this, my relationship with god grew cold again. Everyone who knew me would never know this, but I new it in my heart,. Because of the lack of prayer and word of god in my life.(I had read the whole bible, but its something that you need to be soaked in everyday) Then I found this site, (I had bookmarked it once a while ago but never really looked at it much)I listened to the sermon by Keith Daniel "finished with the world" and it was exactly how I felt on the inside, and then "absolute surrender" I and new that the reason my life was so up and down spiritually was because, I was missing the quiet times with god every morning and night, soaking myself in the word and prayer. I truly believe that this is the way of how to stay walking close with god and know his heart, and John 15 where it talks about abiding in him.It’s always a battle, and you have to sacrifice things to be able to spend that time with god, especially when u have to wake up early for work and it’s hard.But yeah going back to the title, I was just thinking about crazy it must sound to people listening to sermons all day at work. hahaSome of the best I have heard are from, Artz Katz, Keith Daniel, David Wilkerson, Jackie Pullinger, Richard Wirmbrand, Rolland baker.

I know how you feel...I was raised a Baha'i, which is essentially a new age cult, if you're not familiar with it. It claims to be the latest in a line of religions that all say the same thing. Christianity is put into this box along with Islam, Judaism, etc. by the Baha'is. So naturally, when I was a Baha'i, I could shrug off Christians, saying "you're right about what you believe, it's just that I know more", kind of like mormonism does with Christianity.Anyway, I came to Christ by actually seeing what the Bible said. What could it hurt? The Baha'is acknowledged it as a holy book, so why not check it out. What I found was that I was in a pinch.See, the Bible is very clear about one thing: There is only one way to God, and that is through Jesus Christ. What I found was that I had been lied to. I though I understood who Christ was, what he said, what he taught. But Christ himself was a very different person, preaching a very different message.Well, I became a Christian, was baptized, and became a member of a local church where many of my friends were going. Looking back, I don't know how some of the people that I do really respect still go there. It's got to be one of the most liberal churches around. Well, with a pastor that was trained at Cal Berkley, one of the most liberal schools in the nation, what can you expect.Well, what I came to find, was that this gathering was useless. And it was making me useless. Every Sunday we would hear awesome history lessons, and every Sunday we would leave no different than before. I was becoming monotone in my own walk with the Lord.Now, understand, there were activities going on. Some of the members were part of a local outreach, and I believe have sincere, awesome relationship with God, serving him to their max. But the majority of the church claimed the idea of predestination to mean: "God has chosen who he wants to save, so I'm just gonna sit and wait for God to bring them to church." In my opinion, that's a useless church, with a doctrine that's an abomination.Well, round about, I began to become lax in my walk, until I ran into some Jehova's Witnesses.Now, JWs claim that they are the only true Christians, and the rest are all wrong. So I asked who was right? Well, they gave me some literature, and talked with me for a little while.I took these papers back to our youth group leader, and showed them where the JWs don't believe Christ to be God. Is Christ God? I was told yes, with the backup of one Bible verse: John 1:1. No John 1:14, nothing more. The only scripture that our 'spiritual leader' knew, was John 1:1. I was amazed. I was shocked into understanding something: IT IS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW WHY YOU BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE!Well, I ended up moving to Alaska with the military, and I'm in an awesome local church. This site has been a great help, too. Try listening to Leonard Ravenhill, too. He was a hard-core man for God.Anyway, if I have nothing useful to say, keep going! It's awesome to hear about others who are focused on God. And KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE!Grace and Peace...