Our Biggest Holiday Stress

Our Biggest Holiday Stress For most of us, the Christmas holiday season is by far the most sacred time of the year. We prepare a lot, shop a lot, celebrate a lot, and eat a lot. Christmas is an exciting time. However, Christmas is also likely the most stressful time of the year.I’ve often wondered where all the stress comes from. Christmas is traditionally the time to celebrate the birthday of Christ. However, Christ offered relief from stress. He said, “Come to me all ye who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” So in a sense, Christmas is a crazy contradiction. Instead of freeing us from stress, it produces stress. It is like pulling in opposite directions. That thought alone makes me feel stressed.Dare I suggest that a lot of the stress that we experience comes from the values we have accumulated from our culture rather than from the Christ-child? Maybe deep down we fear that if we fail to measure up to those expectations, someone will be disappointed in us; or maybe we will be disappointed in ourselves. So then, perhaps our fear of failed expectations is the real source of our stress. We don’t want to experience guilt for not measuring up. However, the purpose of Christ’s advent was to set us free from guilt. So, again we find ourselves pulled in opposite directions.No one knows the date of Jesus’ birth. December 25 was chosen about three hundred years later. So Christmas, as we observe it, is not a divine command. That fact should relieve us of some of our stress.Nevertheless Christmas is here to stay and I’m glad. I would never want to throw it away - there are just too many wonderful aspects to it. I would, however, love to see people liberated from the stress-producing side of it. That would, I realize, imply that they break from some of our cultural patterns. But then, Jesus often broke from cultural patterns, including religious patterns of his day. He refused to get caught up in the tyranny of faulty expectations. By doing so he modeled a better life-style.When we are free from the stress of tiresome expectations, we can more easily enjoy others. We are free to give of ourselves. We are free to be creative, and free to appreciate the beauty hidden within the hubbub of the holiday season - including the quiet messages of peace and joy. Diane

Yeah. I agree. How great it is that we actually have a holiday designed to celebrate the life of our Savior? It's a shame that it's not always implemented as such.I remember this past year right before Christmas, I was at a men's prayer breakfast. Well, the day before, Wal-mart had done their hugh annual christmas sale that they do.Well, one of the men had gone to do some christmas shopping, and saw something in it that should be recognized. He said, "if you want to know the essence of sin, just look at what this has become. As soon as the doors open, people are grabbing carts, running, even fighting to get that stereo at the price that they feel they somehow deserve! There is no order, but it's chaos based on ME."Crazy, eh? Yeah, it's sad to see what's become of what could be such a great thing. The fact that it's now in many ways a marketing tool that seems to bring out nothing more than the greed of many of us. I know i've been guilty.Grace and Peace...

Crazy, eh? Yeah, it's sad to see what's become of what could be such a great thing. I wonder, "Since when could it have become a great thing." Maybe there is a reason why Scripture discourages our allegiance to special days, and seasons. They become idols. They become sacred. And after a while it feels wrong if we don't "properly" observe these traditions of man. (See Colossians 2:6-23)Christmas (the observance of Dec. 25) started out as a compromise with paganism. So, I ask, do any of us who celebrate Christmas have any right to condemn the Catholics or other religious groups who also compromise Scripture!?!What's the difference between singing songs about Santa and songs about Jesus' birthday? Both are NOT TRUE. ex: "Jesus Christ is born today" Is there a danger of worshipping an infant Christ rather than an eternal Savior?What would happen if Christians stopped observing Christmas?..... Should they??? Diane

a prime example of sacred cows in the Body of Christ.I agree with your points, Krispy, We do have to examine WHY we do things. After all, anything good can become a sacred cow, and we end up worshipping it rather than the Christ. Oh, how prone we are to wander!I would add one more point to your words,dont do things that stress you out. Just dont do 'em We must repent, and turn back to Christ who is our all in all. It is not enough to merely stop doing things that God has not called us to do, we have to change our THINKING and values, or else we will just latch on to other "sacred cows". Who are you to condemn God's servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him tell them whether they are right or wrong. The Lord's power will help them do as they should. Romans 14:4Diane

Hey, Diane. I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to your earlier comments.As Christians, we're called to be "in the world, but not of the world." It's a system of corruption, and should be dead to us. I look at Christmas in much the same way. While it was just a "converted" pagan holiday, and it has nothing to do with being a Christian, it can be a tool.There was another column about this very subject a little while ago. Another person made the comment that it can be used to talk about the meaning of Christianity, at a time when many unbelievers seem more open to listen. I completely agree.You have to be careful it this, also. Just like the calf- it was called "Yahweh". It wasn't a new god to the people, is was a warping of the True God (which they knew and recognizd). In my house, we don't have a Christmas tree, we don't teach santa stories, and we know that it's not the birthday of Christ. But it is a chance to remember him, just as many churches do on the first Sunday of every month. So, is any day more holy than another? No. And Christmas is the same. It's another day- no better and no worse. But any day can be an abomination, depending on what it is to you.Look at Paul. He says that if a person offers you food that was sacrificed to Idols, that you should take some so as not to offend them. Just don't cause another to stumble! Christmas is the same- it can be an opportunity, but don't cause another to stumble in the lies that surround it.Grace and Peace...

While it was just a "converted" pagan holiday, and it has nothing to do with being a Christian, it can be a tool.Groh-frog, I agree. We need to be shrewd with the things in this world. Yet, that can also become an easy cover-up excuse for justifying any of our desires to walk with the world. Thank you for sharing your own way of dealing with the season. Krispy, if the KJV cuts the point better for you, that’s great. I’m afraid I don’t quite see more light. But then, my real purpose for writing the meditation was for the newspaper: to speak to those outside the church - to heighten conscious awareness, and get people thinking about why they do things. After all, people can’t even begin to see their need for God until they see that they are in bondage to something OTHER than God. This article was intended to reach those who tune out the minute they hear “God”. So, as you see “God” is not mentioned in what I wrote. Nevertheless, I believe that the thoughts can be like a ROADSIGN: pointing people in the right direction. Christians, too, need to be reminded that they may not be as free as they assume. Their conscience may be enslaved to many “commands” that do not come from God. The concepts here could be applied to anything in life that “drives” us. Does any of this make sense to you?Diane

Krispy said, those who know me probably understood the humor behind it.:-) Yes, I am familiar with the Krispy ways. Sometimes there has been a bit of crunch thrown in. :-) ..he he he…. :-) Anyway... back to the topic! Good idea! I’m curious: do any of my comments resonate with you? Or does it seem to miss the mark? ... well…. after all…. it is not backed by the KJV… Oooooh…. Just a little humor…. :-) Diane

the more modern versions

I learned something from this “caution”: Be very careful with our criticisms of Bible translations. We could inadvertently plant doubts in people’s minds and discourage them from reading and trusting the Word.

The devil works hard to keep the Truth hidden from people’s minds – by discouraging them from reading it for themselves, or by dulling its impact - whether by obscuring it ancient language (ex Latin) or in the fuzzy gogglygook language of modern academia - our “religious experts”. Ex: Some warn us that the Bible stories were figments of imagination – the way ancient peoples saw it back then: THEIR reality.

And so the Gift of God: Jesus come to be our Savior gets pushed aside while countless people, like toddlers on their first Christmas, get enamoured with the packaging: the various aspects of the season - traditons, etc.

Diane

Merry Christmas Diane

I would, however, love to see people liberated from the stress-producing side of it.

Just say no. "No" is a powerfully liberating word when it comes to people's expectations. :-)

I met a Muslim who warned me that my version of the Quran is translated incorrectly, and is full of errors. It was written by those coloured by the West, and has a political agenda

This reveals that the inverse is also true; the Quran is already very much a geo-political book. It seems to me that the Muslim's spiritual ties are not heavenward but in the mid-east...and this geographic and even racial loyalty is a root cause of concern. When we see Saudi sponsored mosques going up in western nations, it's not so much percieved as a spiritual threat, but a earthly threat. The mosques are percieved as unofficial mid-east embassies with political and cultural loyalties that are antagonistic to their western host countries.

MC

Diane,

As I read your posts on this thread, the gist of it as I understand it, is the stress you abhor that is inherent in the celebration of Christmas. Right?

Now let us look at Bible history, just a tad bit. Do you know what was required by the homemaker in the OT in preparing her household for Passover? She had to clean her house from top to bottom to make sure there was no leaven to be found! And how about the feast of Purim: it came as a response to Esther delivering the Jew from certain extermination. This celebration was not commanded by God, but neither do we read that God took them to task for celebrating it, either.

Celebrations, by its very nature, cause a lot of work for the woman, who manages the household. The amount of work you do is totally up to you. If you feel pressured to keep up with the Jones, may I suggest you have a problem that extends beyond the celebration of Christmas. I hear no one complain about wedding celebrations, wedding anniversary celebrations, birthday parties, funeral feasts ....

In the meantime, just do not overspend and leave Santa at the North Pole.

Just my thoughts...

ginnyrose

I didn't pull from Diane's post that she was trying to keep up with the Jone's exactly. Instead I think she was sighing over the increase in customary obligations that can come with the season. As a music minister she may feel 'official' burdens, in addition to the family parties, other events that can wear you out.

Last week I made up a little parody to a popular Christmas song...it's funnier if you imagine Juile Andrews singing it.

"It's the most disfunctional time of the year!
The emotional havoc, the holiday traffic,
the crowds at the mall!
And of course let's not forget, my mother in law!"

(Actually I like my mother in law, but it rhymed...)

I have to admit I am kind of two faced when it comes to Christmas. On one hand I love to drink egg nog and play Christmas music. Just today we went out an cut down a little tree for the living room. (In case anyone is wondering, I didn't think of winter solstice, Jupiter, or any other Roman planet untill I was reminded here at SI a minute ago...) On the other hand I am quite monastic when it comes to holiday social events. About 5 years ago I realized that keeping up with the Jone's was just going to make me debt ridden like the Jone's. (The truth is that the Jone's are flat broke and their house is in negative equity.)

Oh the beauty of "no." Even my relatives may get a 'no' in their in stocking from me. There are no parties or gift buying I am obligated to participate in. My holiday anthem is "I'll be home for Christmas." After a couple of years people stop asking. Ahhh...silent night...all is calm.

This is how I have such a Merry Christmas! My wife and I give each other the gift of no extra bills and we make no self-destructive effort to attend multiple gift openings at each and every relative's house in some mad dash of people pleasing. As a husband I insist on no special meals or laborious preparations from my wife, except those little things she takes pleasure in. (Diane may remember when everyone was in Columbus...I really dislike busyness in the kitchen when we could be visiting one another! :-) ) In short, the extra vacation time we have together is not spent in the kitchen, or on the road, or in the mall, or in a practice room at church...it is invested into a quiet home; (Okay, with three kids, that's relative.) Our time is hopefully rich and meaningful, to build unity instead of selfishness into our characters. And it goes without saying, that on Christmas morning, we subordinate the customary shredding of wrapping paper with something that lasts more then ten minutes: we have time to read and reflect about the birth of our Lord!

I'm sharing some of our holiday patterns, with all of their flaws and shortcomings, in hopes that it might encourage someone who feels the pressure to be extraordinary during the holidays. I realize this pressure may be extra acute on women. Christmas in our house isn't perhaps as spiritual as some, but it is truly loving. And without the emphasis on getting loot, Christmas isn't corrosive on our children's characters as it was in earlier years. Ironically, even though we don't pack our calendar nor practice retail planning in our home, my family and extended family is closer knit then most families I know. Especially the Jones. Christmas is somehow wonderful without credit cards and caffeine...it's a mystery.:-)

Merry Christmas Ginny, Diane, and all.

MC

I Love to Celebrate Christmas, obviously!

I have wonderful memories of families getting together, snow on the ground (sometimes us children played "Fox and geese), lots of food, all prepared by the women contributing to the feast; gifts were exchanged (we all exchanged names), and then opened; after all this, grandma would sit there with a large bowl of delicious apples which she peeled and gave to us childrren. In the meantime the adults were laughing, talking and carrying on - no alcohol. At school there were the Christmas programs, gifts exchanged, and food. Man, this was fun!

Now as a grandmother, I try hard to duplicate some of these festivities for our own family. My parents did it, their grandchildren enjoyed it, and I hope to pass this on to our descendants.

No Santa Claus, just Christmas carols/story and a lot of family togetherness. And more the merrier! We have invited others to share in our festivities and it was a pleasure for all of us. I love the hustle and bustle this all entails, even the work..it is fun! I can not understand why people hate it so!

No scripture quoted here, I admit. We do not do anything sinful, anything which we would not feel comfortabe doing were Jesus here in the flesh.

Have a Blessed and Merry Christmas!

ginnyrose