humor anyone

Chuckles You Can Tell in Church!Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed inwhite?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The childthought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"###############A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bibleclass. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let mebe late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty andtearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran, she once againbegan to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please, don't shove me either!"###############Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles afew words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That'snothing My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." Thethird boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it asermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"###############An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In herhandwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I wasalive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.###############A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"He said, "Call for backup."############### A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus withthem to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter."###############A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. Afterexplaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandmentthat teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,"Thou shall not kill."###############At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. LittleJohnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is thematter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mike,thanks. These are very cute. I love the last one! :-) In Him, Chanin

Here is one I like. I got this in my email this morning. It is not new, but funny still...IMHO.ginnyroseFlorida Love StoryThis is a story of two elderly people living in a mobile home park in Florida. He was a widower and she was a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the Club House, and the widower and widow made a foursome with two other singles.They had a wonderful evening and spirits were high. The widower sent a few admiring glances across the table, and the widow smiled coyly back at him. Finally, he plucked up his courage to ask her, " Will you marry me? " After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes. Yes, I will. " The meal ended with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective homes. The next morning, the widower was troubled. Did she say 'Yes' or did she say 'No'? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question, but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her, " When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'? "" Why, you silly man, I said 'Yes. Yes I will.' And I meant it with all my heart. "The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat. Then she continued, " And I am so glad you called because I couldn'tremember who asked me. "