A preface before the preface. By a check it appears this was started about mid December and is a reflection of "Where my head is\\was at", to borrow a phrase from a beloved brother here, "I don't always agree with myself!" So taken in that construct, hope that it is challenged where necessary, corrected, rebuked, the flaws pointed out etc. Decided against polishing it and surely much is mere opinion, that which is becoming more and more a sort of indigestion anyway. Truth is all that matters, all that is needed. With some trembling...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Started this weeks ago. Was tempted to extract out this first part, these rather personal pleadings for it has been many days since and am now more or less at rest from the destruction of the moments and they were continual. Am not too fond of just putting forth prayers to God outright into the public for any number of reasons. It seemed best to allow them here.Staring at a blank page with tear less eye's, they are gone, evaporated into thin air. Oh but I would cry if I only could. Heaviness awaits me, avails me, the prayer closet has become an inner wailing, a crushing, a crucification. Morning after mourning I awake, close the door and it is there, instantly, the olive press of the soul, a tearing of the inner robe, a grinding and a fire and a sword. And not one word of this comes close to an expression, human words fail, groanings that cannot be uttered.Will I plead for You O Lord to withold Your hand?, No. It must go through, I must go in and not come out, perfecting Holiness in the fear of the Lord. And yet what has this to do with me? Nothing. Nothing of the sort, there can be no other explanation, for it seems I could but turn away and be comforted, that this could stop in a moment and yet it would be regret and failure, to not allow You this vessel which You created to do as Thou will. How to speak out from this perplexity? It is but seemingly a few gut wrenching realities. The Lord is grieved deeply, it must be so, O Father give me words to speak! Make me a man of no opinion, let my thoughts not leaven Yours. Your people, who are called by Your Holy Name...Where is the fear of the Lord? Was found out by just this;Joe 2:11 And the LORD shall utter his voice before his army: for his camp is very great: for he is strong that executeth his word: for the day of the LORD is great and very terrible; and who can abide it? Do we believe this.Joe 2:12 Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: Joe 2:13 And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. The fabric of the heart, do we know this cost?Joe 2:14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God? Joe 2:15 Blow the trumpet in Zion, sanctify a fast, call a solemn assembly: Solemnity. What is it to sanctify a fast?Joe 2:16 Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts: let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet. Joe 2:17 Let the priests, the ministers of the LORD, weep between the porch and the altar, and let them say, Spare thy people, O LORD, and give not thine heritage to reproach, that the heathen should rule over them: wherefore should they say among the people, Where is their God? Who is it that is to come out? Seems no question as to who is to go in, into the closet, into the furnace, into travail and the olive press of the soul. But how many willing? Any able to stay awake and watch, watch the Savior's agony, ponder the imponderable, what is it to;And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. Pray more earnestly?What kind of agony breaks the capillaries? What of this cost?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The cost"And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, saying, 'This man began to build, and was not able to finish'. Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace. So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple". Luk 14:25-33We must do away with this modern day falsehood, this telling people lies to 'win them to the Lord'. We are winning nobody and standing in the way of the truth in order to assuage the guiltiness of the rebellious, to make things 'easier' when there is nothing easy about it. We are more guilty than they, for they know not and we ought to know better. How is it that this spurious and contrary idea has infiltrated the gospel? Has the modern man become so enlightened that he has surpassed the Lords own words? Cannot be my disciple? Hate? Strong words indeed.We would be better off telling people to stay away from this Jesus than to use this sentimental language of 'Accepting Him as your "personal Saviour"'. It is becoming repulsive to hear it anymore, why does that always sound more like "Your personal servant? 20 to 30 years ago that old sage, that firebrand of a man, Leonard Ravenhill, was asked what he thought the biggest problem of the times was. It was almost strange to hear it, but two things; One, that we do not know Who God is. And the other? That evangelism was the biggest problem of the day. Not all the sin and moral deprivations, but the church, that it was our fault.Evangelism? Imagine that! And where are we today, some 25 years removed? Better? With so many treating Gods word as if it was something akin to clipping coupons out of a newspaper, bargains, deals, discounts, savings..." If any man come to me" "Come to me"?How does this measure up against "Inviting Jesus into your heart"? Are you sure you want that? More so, this;... and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, ... And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me ...whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath...Cannot. That is a strong word, where on earth did this idea ever come about that there is no cost? A couple of things that I just cannot get away from, that repeat themselves over and over again;"Feed My sheep"Joh 6:47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life. But withhold the food?;Joh 6:51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. I wonder if we truly have any idea of just what this means.Joh 6:52 The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat? How indeed! How is it that this can be quickly dodged by not even allowing the question to come forth, lest 'they be offended'?Joh 6:53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.Two "Verily, verily's" in the same context."Ye have no life in you""Cannot be My disciple""Believeth on Me"Believe what? This is not measuring up very well... "Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me. This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever. Joh 6:54-58Further on...Joh 6:60 Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it? How many will even speak it in this day? Joh 6:61 When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Doth this offend you?There it is, there is the rub. Why is it seemingly that if anything the Lord was practically trying to do the opposite of what this day and age is attempting; 'Seeker sensitive' ? "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." Matthew's telling only gets worse; For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me Mat 10:34-37Know any of this, any of this cost? Been quietly shunned by your own family? Mocked? Hated? Tolerated perhaps, and self- righteousness will make you everybody's enemy, but a quiet disposition, a prayerful life can bring a lot of grief. The scripture is true; ".. to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life." To be sure this is but light affliction and a humbling of character, you could live in China or Saudi Arabia.Joh 6:63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. But..."But there are some of you that believe not". For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him. And he said, "Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father". Joh 6:64,65"that no man can come unto me"Seems to challenge saying a simple prayer, accepting Jesus into your heart, "making Him one's own 'personal'...."Except" ... it were given unto him of my Father.Something confounding here. What is it that is given? Salvation? Surely Jesus was given, ... gave His only Son, He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; (and with his stripes we are healed) Isa 53:3-5 Let us not rush into the healing just yet.This 'exception' seems to lead right into the other burden and bearing down of late. It as well has been replaying over and over again in my mind and it comes in a form of a question; What was it that truly happened to those that turned on the day of Pentecost? Let that percolate for a moment while continuing John's recording of the Lords words and actions;Joh 6:66 From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. How much can be measured from this incredible statement? How gut wrenching is that and how compatible with precisely what our day is presenting. Why were they following Him in the first place? What does this say about the never ending discussion about 'Once saved always saved'? These were His disciples it says. Quite willing to follow along, see wonderful miracles, hear the rebuke to the Pharisees, all these great things until he started talking about what? Cost. "From that time many..." And how many in our day, if and when this is brought to their attention.Hopefully it will be sooner than later. This is the reality that hit's those that are awakened out of the cults, out of 'word of faith' constructs, out of 'seeker sensitive', cleverly manipulated approaches from fallen man's ideas. It is just stupefying to think that this is being shelved and in it's place we have somehow made Jesus to be someone other than Who He is and changed His own Words to be more palatable as to not offend anybody. Where did the Lord ever play to the crowd, size them up and determine His approach? Joh 8:38 I speak that which I have seen with my Father: and ye do that which ye have seen with your father. The question comes up, could we present this just as it is without any commentary, any additions or subtractions and finish it with the same words He Himself spoke:Joh 6:67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? Once heard a wonderful message, well, wonderful in the sense that it was true, that how often the Lord seemed to be off putting towards many, the opposite of what clever men are now doing. He was largely offending people everywhere He went and that is far removed from being offensive as some can be just down right brutish, self-righteous, ignorant and arrogant. The truth of that matter is He provoked a response because He is Truth incarnate and often that undressing of the soul brings out all kinds of violent opposition. This just shatters the illusion of this cliché' ridden, sentimental claptrap, easy, effeminate, unoffensive retelling that is being done in large measure in this day ... no wonders Paul spoke of another Jesus than the one we proclaimedAnd just when we think it's over, that all that needs to be said has been said...Then Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God". Joh 6:68-69Not only believe, but are sure. Take note of just this, especially in light of this day of self-assured, assurance insurance; Peter would yet still deny Him later on. But are we sure? If we are, then are we making sure those that hear, hear it all, know the cost, realize just what it is they are asking for, what it is they are "accepting"? And one more looming question; Can this be accomplished in a matter of minutes, with a quick 'said' prayer? "Will ye also go away?"Still more salt to be poured on the wound before this is finished;Joh 6:70 Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil? So not only does it seem that one can believe and be sure, but apparently this is just the beginning, what is one to do with this as a response to "we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God". Isn't this reminiscent of; "Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble."? Jam 2:19 My goodness, this is relentless. How does this all square with our modern day approach? How fast would this get one thrown out on his ear for stating such a thing. "Just welcome the Lord Jesus into your heart and by the way, one of you is a devil"? The reality being that it should be said just as He said; "And you being evil... (which if we recall was spoken to his disciples towards the tail end of their asking Him to teach them how to pray...) no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father". As an aside, who did the choosing?Which brings this back to the 'exception' and to Pentecost. What was it that brought forth such a great turning of mens souls on that day? Have been really thinking hard about this, not to be clever or 'profound' or eloquent or any such thing. What happened and why did it happen? And why in this day is it that most everything is directly in opposition to what happened there?"And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling at Jerusalem Jews, devout men, out of every nation under heaven. Now when this was noised abroad, the multitude came together, and were confounded, because that every man heard them speak in his own language. And they were all amazed and marvelled, saying one to another, Behold, are not all these which speak Galilaeans? And how hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born?" Act 2:4-8Already it seems there is parallels; "amazed and marvelled" is this unlike those who followed Jesus to a point until He started talking about cost?Act 2:11 Cretes and Arabians, we do hear them speak in our tongues the wonderful works of God. Wonderful! Honestly, what could be more thrilling in a way than to be in part of such a strange gathering, with all the different languages, to be confounded is surely a blessed thing when it is the Lord who is doing the confounding and not mere men programming a 'revival'.But even this seems short lived;"And they were all amazed, and were in doubt, saying one to another, What meaneth this? Others mocking said, These men are full of new wine". Act 2:12,13Doubts, mocking. Different reactions, the whole 'group think' mentality easily spread and persuasive, surely a muddy mix in the multitudes. But is this what brought men and women to their senses? Again the parallels to those that followed Him as a curiosity; Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did. But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man. Joh 2:23-25 Again, the force of those words "But Jesus did not commit himself unto them...he knew all men...what was in man" Should we suppose this is any different now?Act 2:14 But Peter, standing up with the eleven, lifted up his voice, and said unto them, Ye men of Judaea, and all ye that dwell at Jerusalem, be this known unto you, and hearken to my words:Plural, 'words'Act 2:15 For these are not drunken, as ye suppose...The gift of 'suspicion' to borrow a brothers borrowed words. Act 2:16-18 But this is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel; And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: And on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy:This, it seems is about as far as some are willing to go, a stopping point in the 'acceptance motif', but Peter goes on;Act 2:19-21 And I will shew wonders in heaven above, and signs in the earth beneath; blood, and fire, and vapour of smoke: The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before that great and notable day of the Lord come: And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. Interesting, depending on where one stops to insert comments how the emphasis 'changes'...Act 2:22-24 Ye men of Israel, hear these words; Jesus of Nazareth, a man approved of God among you by miracles and wonders and signs, which God did by him in the midst of you, as ye yourselves also know: Him, being delivered by the determinate counsel and foreknowledge of God, ye have taken, and by wicked hands have crucified and slain:This is some pretty heavy accusations Peter is leveling here. Individuals? "Ye" seems to be indicting the whole lot of them. What's the term? "Guilty by association?""Whom God hath raised up, having loosed the pains of death: because it was not possible that he should be holden of it."This has always struck me, to really ponder this, the Lords resurrection in light of that.Cont.
