Hi! My name is Greg Gordon, I'm 25 years old and reside in Toronto, Canada currently. I have been running the SermonIndex.net ministry since Dec. 2002. I have been hesitant to share this. I will try my best by God's grace to share how God has wrought new life into my soul by the Holy Spirit through the death and ascension of Christ.Revelation 12:11 (niv) - They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.Psalms 66:16 (niv) - Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.Revelation 20:4 (niv) - I saw thrones on which were seated those who had been given authority to judge. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony for Jesus and because of the word of God. They had not worshipped the beast or his image and had not recieved his mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years.I was raised in a home with parents that had good morals and a religious upbringing. They always made sure that we had everything we needed to live and grow in life, everything temporal that is. I was brought to sunday school for a year or two as a 12 year old when my parents attended a few different churches. But after 12 I never went into churches on sundays. My parents sent me to summer camps every year.. and one year they decided to send me to the one at Knox Presybterian Church called 'Knox day Camp.' And year after year I learned alot about Jesus and the Bible through that camp. Especially in the overnight camps where there was a week where we went up north into nature. God really showed himself to me in His creation and I truly believed there was a God. But when I came back into the big city life, God was in the forground or not there at all.I went into high school like this. I had a hard time fitting into peer groups. In grade 10 I found some people who were willing to be friends, but they smoked weed. To fit in with them I started to smoke weed with them during lunch time at school. This trend continued to get worse and worse. I started listening to hip-hop and rap music which changed the way I acted, dressed, and lived. I began to get into worse crowds, and started to drink and get violent, outbursts of anger, etc. I was smoking-up before school, at lunch and after school. My relationship with my parents was very bad at home. I showed much anger and almost hit my parents a few times. I started to skip entire days off school just to get high, it was the escape from reality was what I wanted.At one point in Grade 11 I decided to leave home and school, and stay with a friend that lived with his old grandma in an old age housing unit. I wrote a quick note while I was quite high and left it at home and left with my bag. I had barely any money, I worked part-time doing a canvassing job. and it was the dead of winter in toronto, so it was quite cold.Every day the objective was to get high and get drugs. I would basically do anything to do this. I was dealing weed just to support my habit but I also had to get it anyway possible which included stealing and robbing. I did many ridicilous stunts which should have gotten me in jail, I got in many cop chases but by Gods providence I was never caught.There came a point after months of living like this day in and out that we were going to sleep at 5-6am and waking up at 4-5pm when the sun was just rising so I was literally living in darkness, I never saw much of the sun, and for some weird reason I like it that way.John 3:20 (niv) - Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.One morning as we were just waking up the phone rang, it was my half-brother Tim! When I ran away from home I left no address or phone number so I had no idea how he got that number. He simply asked if he could meet with me somewhere neutral no strings attached. I consented. As I was walking to meet him I remembering my hands being so cold, because I didnt have gloves for the winter weather. When I first saw him as I walked up to him he had 2 winter gloves in his hands streched out to me. That caught me off-gaurd and I accepted the gift, it really touched me. I showed me something was lacking that I didnt have everything together in my life.We had lunch and talked and he invited me to come to his house in hamilton which is 1 1/2 hours away from toronto. I agreed to stay for a week. My brother was not a Christian but he basically talked to me simply with much common sense during that week. He layed out what I was doing to myself, family and others, and how my life choices are affecting me and others. God used this in a mighty way to bring me to a realization of how my life was off-track. When I got back into toronto and went back to my friends house, it seemed so empty and pointless. I didnt feel like getting high, he couldnt believe I was refusing drugs, he got a big stach.. but I just wanting to go to bed for work the next day. As I lyed there a deep saddness came over me and I felt like crying out for help but who would listen.. then I just prayed to God and said.. God!! I want to go home.. and I cryed myself to sleep.The next day I woke up to go to work and for some reason there was noone there I then tryed going back to my friends house and noone was there either, and the problem with that is that I had no keys. I stayed out in the cold for awhile and I thought of going downtown to stay warm at another friends house or in a store or two. As I was making my way back up to my friends house where I was staying I passed by my old neibourhood, I had to walk back cause I had no money left for transporation.I was so cold and sad and I decided to go to the bad of my house to just look, I was My dad let our my dog and I wanted to go in but I felt so ashamed of what I have done and become that I couldnt even do it. For 20 mins in the freezing cold I struggled with this and finally I got to my front door. I remember knocking and wanting to run and get away but I couldnt move, then the door opened and my mom told me to come in and I just cryed. My family seemed so happy and forgiving to have me home and offered that I could come back, I accepted.At home, I still smoked drugs and did bad things but felt like I had a second chance at life, I went back to school part-time and was making an effort to reform my life. At this time I decided I wanted to start playing basketball and my sister told me that they played basketball at the church on friday nights so I went. I went just to play basketball and left as the biblestudy and singing part started. But I realized they played afterwards to, so if I stayed during the biblestudy time then I could play more after :-P . Ignored much of what was said but slowly some things got me thinking.One day at home I got my bible that was given to me as a kid off the shelf and starting reading it. I could barely read because of not reading for many years and smoking so much etc. But I persevered and read it for hours and hours.. I couldnt stop :-o This went on for 2 weeks, I starting reading it with my sister and was reading romans and using a study guide to go through it. One night I was at my desk re-reading parts of Romans and some things hit me hard. I read:Romans 3:23 (niv) - for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.and I re-read that verse and it appeared to me like:Romans 3:23 (niv) - For [Greg] has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.I was struck with thoughts of the majesty and glory of God and how sinful I was. I had these thoughts throughout the 2 weeks but it was very strong on this night. I felt like I was headed to hell for my sin and I deserved to die. I felt like I was in a car that was going over the cliff and I couldnt get out. I needed help and I didn't know what to do?then this verse came to me:Romans 6:23 (niv) - For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.I felt this power come over me and basically I feel to my knees and pleaded for my soul the best way I knew how. I felt such a weight of sin on me.. but as I prayed I felt the Lord release it at one point. I accepted Christ into my heart and I believe that God worked his salvation in me that night. I usually had a hard time sleeping but I slept like a baby that night. Its hard to explain but over the next 6 months I changed or was changed and the outside of me changed slowly, as I become more like Christ and His Spirit worked through me. I stop drinking, smoking, swearing (still have trouble with that sometimes :-( ), my anger left me and I felt so close to God. My mom came to me many times before saying this is just a phase in your life or it wont last. But after 6 months she came to me and I wont forget it, she said to me 'are you Greg my son? you have changed?' She knew I changed in an amazing way and she was baffled by it.I felt such a thrist for the word and as I read it, God spoke directly to me in so many ways.. he is soo good. I helped alot at the church with the children which I loved doing.I basically cut off all my old friends and my old way of life for 1 year. At one point God led me to re-establish contact with alot of my old friends I used to drink and smoke with and I shared and witnessed to them. My changed life was a big enough witness to them alone. My best friend who used to do all the same drinking, smoking etc through some circumstances recieved Christ in his heart and is a Christian now .. praise God.There is so much to share how God has worked in my life. but this is a start. I would be happy to clarify anything or elaborate. I will try and share more experience I have had as a young believer until to-date.In Him,Greg Gordon
