I don't hesitate to say that I fear God, but as my Father in heaven not some other false notion. I remember witnessing to this kid I worked with and it finally hit home to him when I told him I had no fear of judgement and that I had already been judged at the cross of Christ and been found guilty. I knew that as a sinner I deserved every second of Hell's punishment for all eternity but that Christ had stood in my place and I was therefore judged, found guilty and set free all in the same woderful, beautiful act of redemption. He stood still for a moment when he realized that time for him was running out, that by not accepting the salvation of Christ he had made a decision. He too was judged and found wanting, and in that final moment there would be no last second decision. This kid was in construction, drove amateur dirt track racecars and was in the habit of driving drunk, no better case could be made for the unpredictability of his last breath. I would not exchange all his supoosed freedom for one second of eternal security, therfore truly I have nothing to fear. What hurts, what aches what drives me to my kn ess in tears before God is that I am so weak and yes my Father loves me but I know I don't love Him nearly enough. I fear that one missed oppurtunity, that word spoken in anger and haste, that inaction that should have been kindness and love. Why Lord do I say I love you when I show so little of your love for others? It makes me sad to know that I have not done or even undone so much of the Lord's work in my life by my own selfish, childish obstinancy. His word is so dear to me yet it has taken me forty years to open my heart to Him and let Him write His word on my heart as He wills. I despair of the ineptitude of my prayer because the blind don't see, the sick aren't healed and the dead don't walk and the lack is in me and not in the power of my Lord and Savior. If my sole concern was the glory of His name I would just be beginning and what I fear most is that in the moment I need to stand for my Lord I won't have what it takes to pay the price, take up my cross and follow Him. To hear your voice Lord, hear and obey; let fear open my ears and give me strength to do what is asked; whatever the cost. I so desperately want to love God with all my heart and strength but I still cling to some parts of myself for fear that they are what makes me who I am; instead of living crucified to the world. Yes I fear God, He is a consuming fire and only a fool doesn't fear fire. But then all of man's best wisdom is foolishness to God and what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the eyes of God. I pray, with fear, that when Christ looks in my heart He sees what is His and not the filthy, sin-stained clutches of the grave.I am completely capable of fooling myself but He whom with we have to do sees all and will accept no excuses, so yes Lord I ask with fear, remove all that is in me that is not of you, cast the branches that don't bear Your fruit into the fire. I love my Lord but fear is a reasonable response to Him who can cast me into the fire and I am by no means above some hard lessons because I'm hard-headed. But the Lord has brought me so incredibly far with grace and gentleness, far more than I deserve, and I believe it has all been for the benefit and witness of others, so that they too might come into the arms of a loving Father who desires to wipe all our tears away.Thank You Lord